minou23 Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I'm not sure if he's genuinely interested or feels guilty or what! So a couple months back I had a drunken late-night rendezvous, if you know what I mean, with an acquaintance, I know him through a friend. It led to a falling out between us, or so I thought. He handled the situation very immaturely and I was angry, but eventually got over it and stopped thinking about him. Then, like a month or two later, I get a text from him that was just a cute emoji. First, I was surprised to hear from him then I was pissed! I thought oh, this guy thinks he can come back for round 2. I made a mistake once, wasn't gonna let it happen again! I texted him back and he didn't respond. So I texted him again the next day because curiosity was eating me up. I asked why he texted me, he said he thought about me and I told him I was confused and that I thought we were done. He basically apologized and it seemed really sincere (Leaving out what he wrote because it's too long). I showed my friends his texts and they thought so too. They wouldn't sugar coat things, they hated him before. lol. Anyway, he said he made a mistake that night and feels like I hate him and think he's a bad person for letting it happen. He also told me he moved to the East Coast and I live on the West Coast. But his move is only for a couple of months for grad school. I wouldn't be thinking about him if I were there! I mean there are so many new people to meet and places to explore... so it made me really question why he messaged me. He also said that he wishes my attraction to him wasn't just physical. I told him I don't know him enough and he said he's coming back in a month and a half. Making it seem like he wants to go on a date or something. Even though I was still wary about him, I enjoyed our conversation. We texted again a couple days later and he was sweet, then nothing. I texted him a week later to say I was thinking about him and wanted to say hi (granted it was super late in his time zone) and he never replied. So now I'm wondering... is he waiting till he gets back to continue speaking with me? Or did he just want to say sorry because the guilt of all that went down was getting to him? Or did I say something to turn him off? My friend said the difference between women and men is not that one thinks more frequently about the other, but that women are just more vocal about it. We'll tell you when we're thinking about you and guys don't feel the need to. On paper he's perfect. He's gorgeous, very intelligent, has similar morals, but I have to know him more intimately to know if I want to date him. And I do want to get to know him. But I feel dumb to message him again, and I wouldn't even know what to say. I feel like I'm back in high school and he's my first teenager crush.
act00 Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 (edited) It really is annoying when they do this. They jump in, everything seems to be moving forward, and then suddenly they drop off until they decide to contact you again, and they seem, once again, interested. At this point, you need to decide if you even want to give him the time of day after blowing you off. It doesn't take much to shoot off a text. I realize he's busy with his studies, and he's probably getting out to see some sights and meeting new people, partying and what not, but still, it doesn't take much time to shoot off a text. Honestly, though, when he gets home, if he reaches out, I would probably just give it a try. Go out a few times, maybe start from scratch and not fall into bed right away, and try not to overthink it or get overly attached (easier said than done). I don't know what this "falling out" was about, but it seems it wasn't so bad you should be telling him to pound sand. He's been worth it to you to move forward, so why not? Of course, this is coming from someone who has tolerated the ghosting way too many times for way too long. I might shoot off one more text in about a week or so, on the weekend (presumably he has a little more time on the weekend) and ask how things are over yonder and if he's gotten to do anything touristy. After that, no more contact if he doesn't write back. The ball really is in his court right now, but three strikes...and you are demonstrating that your interest is more than physical. Good luck. He seems like a descent guy, while a bit flakey, so just proceed with caution. Edited April 10, 2017 by act00 1
Author minou23 Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 It really is annoying when they do this. They jump in, everything seems to be moving forward, and then suddenly they drop off until they decide to contact you again, and they seem, once again, interested. At this point, you need to decide if you even want to give him the time of day after blowing you off. It doesn't take much to shoot off a text. I realize he's busy with his studies, and he's probably getting out to see some sights and meeting new people, partying and what not, but still, it doesn't take much time to shoot off a text. Honestly, though, when he gets home, if he reaches out, I would probably just give it a try. Go out a few times, maybe start from scratch and not fall into bed right away, and try not to overthink it or get overly attached (easier said than done). I don't know what this "falling out" was about, but it seems it wasn't so bad you should be telling him to pound sand. He's been worth it to you to move forward, so why not? Of course, this is coming from someone who has tolerated the ghosting way too many times for way too long. I might shoot off one more text in about a week or so, on the weekend (presumably he has a little more time on the weekend) and ask how things are over yonder and if he's gotten to do anything touristy. After that, no more contact if he doesn't write back. The ball really is in his court right now, but three strikes...and you are demonstrating that your interest is more than physical. Good luck. He seems like a descent guy, while a bit flakey, so just proceed with caution. Thank you for your response! And you're right! A text here and there really isn't hard to send! Even a quick phone call just once a week is doable I think for most anyone. And I wouldn't hop into bed with him again, even though it would be hard to say no. Despite my drunken actions, I really want a real relationship. Lol
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