Mrin Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Now that I am single again, my friends have all started to educate me on the in's and out's of small town dating. You see, though I've lived in a small town for the last 11 years, I've either been married or dating in a city for that period. I've never considered dating around here... I used to travel a lot for business so it was just easier to date in one of the cities I frequented. Things I've learned so far that surprise me: 1. Dating in Reverse: At least in my small town your first date or three are essentially "Netflix and chill" events. Not hookups per se, but they occur at your or her place. You don't go to a restaurant (aka what would be a normal date in the city) until you're serious. You know, because once you're seen in public on a date then you're in a relationship. I find this hilariously counter intuitive. 2. Everyone has a History: This one is a riot. I asked one of my friends about someone I knew. I was expecting to get the full download on her personality etc. What I got was 1-2 sentences about who she is as a person and several pages of everyone she's dated in the last 11 years. It wasn't shared in some salacious way - more just a simple recitation of the facts. Which, I guess, makes sense. It is funny though - in a city, unless someone became a real relationship partner, who I dated is really only remembered by me and a couple of really close friends. if you had to rewind the tape on me since 2012, it wouldn't be pretty. Lots of 2 and 3 date type stuff. But I did it in a city via OLD and that history is long gone. Not so in a small town. Even being seen in public on 2-3 dates is a noteworthy entry in your history. I find it unsettling and decidedly not cool. 3. Relationships and Hookups: Basically there is nothing in between. You are either hyper-thrust into a full blown relationship or you are just hooking up. Makes sense right? You can't casually date someone in a small town. Or date without exclusivity. You have to make the decision really quickly as to what track you go down. Anyhow, I find this all really interesting and something that has been going on around me but I've been oblivious to it. Anyone else have some small town dating wisdom to share?
Miss Spider Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 My advice on dating when you live in a small town: Move 3
curiouslysearching Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Now that I am single again, my friends have all started to educate me on the in's and out's of small town dating. You see, though I've lived in a small town for the last 11 years, I've either been married or dating in a city for that period. I've never considered dating around here... I used to travel a lot for business so it was just easier to date in one of the cities I frequented. Things I've learned so far that surprise me: 1. Dating in Reverse: At least in my small town your first date or three are essentially "Netflix and chill" events. Not hookups per se, but they occur at your or her place. You don't go to a restaurant (aka what would be a normal date in the city) until you're serious. You know, because once you're seen in public on a date then you're in a relationship. I find this hilariously counter intuitive. 2. Everyone has a History: This one is a riot. I asked one of my friends about someone I knew. I was expecting to get the full download on her personality etc. What I got was 1-2 sentences about who she is as a person and several pages of everyone she's dated in the last 11 years. It wasn't shared in some salacious way - more just a simple recitation of the facts. Which, I guess, makes sense. It is funny though - in a city, unless someone became a real relationship partner, who I dated is really only remembered by me and a couple of really close friends. if you had to rewind the tape on me since 2012, it wouldn't be pretty. Lots of 2 and 3 date type stuff. But I did it in a city via OLD and that history is long gone. Not so in a small town. Even being seen in public on 2-3 dates is a noteworthy entry in your history. I find it unsettling and decidedly not cool. 3. Relationships and Hookups: Basically there is nothing in between. You are either hyper-thrust into a full blown relationship or you are just hooking up. Makes sense right? You can't casually date someone in a small town. Or date without exclusivity. You have to make the decision really quickly as to what track you go down. Anyhow, I find this all really interesting and something that has been going on around me but I've been oblivious to it. Anyone else have some small town dating wisdom to share? None of those seem terribly appealing Surely, there are some decent people to date
Author Mrin Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 None of those seem terribly appealing Surely, there are some decent people to date Oh ya, I'm learning that there are some great women to date. Like truly extraordinary. Who knew? It is just that the dynamic is all jacked up.
coolheadal Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Small town dating how many in the pop.# there? I live in smaller cities which are divided into county and town. County has Sheriff and Town has Police. Either way doesn't matter who ever you can find and date is the challenge itself.
Author Mrin Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 Small town dating how many in the pop.# there? I live in smaller cities which are divided into county and town. County has Sheriff and Town has Police. Either way doesn't matter who ever you can find and date is the challenge itself. 6,000 in the town and immediate surrounding area. 15,000 in the county. Yeah....
OatsAndHall Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 6,000 in the town and immediate surrounding area. 15,000 in the county. Yeah.... I live in a town of 3,000 with about 8,000 people in the county. It's tiny but I don't mind it as it's quiet. I have noticed everything that you have. There's also a lot of heavy drinking around here which makes the bar scene a nightmare. I'm not a big fan of the bars as is but it makes me truly uncomfortable. On three different occasions, I have had a women that were extremely drunk hitting on me (actually touching me) and all of them were married with kids at home. I've also seen some very strange behavior from a couple of women around here. They don't want everyone knowing their business so they don't date guys: they just have random hook-ups continually. But, they don't realize that all bets are off once ONE person sees their car parked in front of a guy's house or vice-versa. I had a date with a local woman this last weekend and she has a large, extended family in the area that everyone knows. Every small town has their "Falcon Crest" families and her family is one of them. The date went well but it's going to be interesting to see the community response. I'm a teacher and I imagine I will be jumping kids left and right about respecting my personal boundaries before long.
Gaeta Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I was born and raise in a small town of 2,000. Not only you know the entire story of the person you date but also the entire story of their whole family. If her big brother went to jail than she is no more suzanne she is the sister of the guy that robbed the drug store and ended up in jail. I am glad I left my small town at 17 to go study in a big city and never came back. I go back regularely to visit my parents and the little time I spend there I know who slept with whom, who cheated with whom, etc etc etc. I suggest you keep dating a secret till it's official dating. 1
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