littlelilly17 Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 My ex and I were together for a few months, it started off amazingly with him being so in love with me, messaging me and telling me about all the things we'd do together. Most of the time we would end up doing nothing, he was too busy with work, or too unwell or too busy doing other things to see me, and after many cancellations I lost control, accused him of lying to me and called him an idiot, he called me a verbal abuser and broke up with me. I tried to get back together with him for a few days but after he posted something mean and passive aggressive on his social networks, I got so hurt I stopped contacting him. I couldn't believe he would make our break up something so public in such an ugly way, especially since we have a few really close mutual friends and we are kind of bound to run into each other. We broke up several months ago and he will still from time to time post something about me (not directly but yes I can recognise myself in it since we had arguments about it) and I just don't know how to act around him when I see him again. He seems super mad still and he was the one who wanted out, so why is he still perpetuating the negativity of our break up? Thank you.
spiderowl Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 I presume he sees you being angry with him as the cause of the break-up. It sounds very much like he has not taken responsibility for his behaviour when he was not finding time to meet you. I can understand it must be annoying and frustrating that he is behaving like this. Actually, you could take it as a compliment in a way: he is still so emotionally attached that he tries to provoke a reaction. You don't have to react; just ignore. I think you have the upper hand here.
choyhtya Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 I would ignore and go NC. I mean you said the guy had trouble making time for you, but if you really love someone you will make time. And at least reshedule instead of outright cacel meetups. The fact that he turns to social media to bash you maes it sound like hes kinda immatue.
Author littlelilly17 Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 I would ignore and go NC. I mean you said the guy had trouble making time for you, but if you really love someone you will make time. And at least reshedule instead of outright cacel meetups. The fact that he turns to social media to bash you maes it sound like hes kinda immatue. The story of our break up is a bit more complicated, but yeah, overall he became super mean after we broke up which made me think it was in fact a good idea it happened. I felt super guilty about insulting him but clearly he had no problem doing it to me kind of publicly. I just think it's kind of reckless since we share some super close friends and will surely be there for the weddings and other special occasions. Why make everything even more awkward? Fine, you don't like me, but don't create more tension for the sake of the people you do like. Also, I haven't contacted him since, I actually blocked him on my social media so I wouldn't have an insight into his life, I haven't contacted him or wrote anything passive aggressive about him. So for me that was that, but clearly I was wrong.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 How old is he? He sounds immature if he's running to social media to air his dirty laundry, especially if he's still doing it months later.
Author littlelilly17 Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 How old is he? He sounds immature if he's running to social media to air his dirty laundry, especially if he's still doing it months later. He's 30+.... so yeah, it does seem emotionally immature. I know I hurt him, he hurt me too and he's acting like he hasn't done anything wrong. For him it's black and white. Fine, but don't make it public.
Heymialouise Posted April 25, 2017 Posted April 25, 2017 Hello, Breakups are always a little sensitive, even on the best terms. Perhaps he wasn't fully ready to seperate, or is dealing with other issues and blaming them on you, either you can't pay any attention to it. His words don't define you and even if he speaks negatively, let your character and actions prove him wrong. Keep your head up, say hello peaceably, and walk boldly pass him if you ever encounter one another. God Bless, Mia
Recommended Posts