Favoriting

[Popsicle]

What does it mean when a guy "Favorites" you instead of sending you a message?

[act00]

It just means he's interested. He may not be interested enough to write you, or maybe he plans on writing you later, but right now, you're just on his "I like her" list. I think a lot of people (women/men) just hit the favorite button "just because," and maybe they're doing it so you reach out to them first. "I like you. If you like me too, write me." I've been "favorited" a million times over with no contact. Sometimes I think the program automatically tosses out the "favorite" because you checked out their page; not that you physically clicked the favorite button. Don't read anything into it. If you like the guy that favorited you, reach out. Or don't, and wait for him to do it.

[Popsicle]

Nowadays I don't even look at who has favorited me, winked, liked, or even viewed me. I just ignore those and don't click on them. I just focus on the messages written. But the guy I am talking to now, I noticed that favorited me first (which I did not see) and then came back a couple of weeks later and wrote to me.

 

But in general, I think there are 2 possibilities:

 

A) "I like you but there is some aspect about you that I think I can do better on, so I will bookmark you for later to return to in case I don't find better."

 

B)"I like you but I'm too scared of rejection to write to you, so I will favorite you in hopes that you make the first rejectable move (which is writing). And then I won't reject you."

 

These are two VERY different reasons.

 

I think a guy that has favorited you that's really interested will come back to write to you if he has not found better. One that is too scared will just leave it as it is and never write.

[Shining One]

A third possibility: Confirmation of mutual interest before writing a message.

Man favorites woman -> Woman favorites man -> Man writes message to woman

[Popsicle]

A third possibility: Confirmation of mutual interest before writing a message.

Man favorites woman -> Woman favorites man -> Man writes message to woman

 

Interesting. I suppose that will also be a reason but I will say that that is not as noticable as a written message.

[coolheadal]

But I feel they should at least say hi to you. The women just do the same thing. You have to be the one to say hi to them. But remember we're all strangers until we can get on the phone to talk for real. If we can make each other laugh that's so healthy and positive!

[Popsicle]

But I feel they should at least say hi to you. The women just do the same thing. You have to be the one to say hi to them. But remember we're all strangers until we can get on the phone to talk for real. If we can make each other laugh that's so healthy and positive!

 

Of course I like this mentality the best.

[Shining One]

Look at this way...

 

Option A: Write 100 initial messages, receive 5 responses from women.

Option B: Favorite 100 women. 10 women favorite you in response. Write 10 initial messages, receive 5 responses.

 

Option B makes a lot more sense to me.

[Popsicle]

Look at this way...

 

Option A: Write 100 initial messages, receive 5 responses from women.

Option B: Favorite 100 women. 10 women favorite you in response. Write 10 initial messages, receive 5 responses.

 

Option B makes a lot more sense to me.

 

From a man's perspective, sure. But not from mine (a woman's).

[Shining One]

From a man's perspective, sure. But not from mine (a woman's).

Why doesn't it make sense? It's a very low effort method that gives both the man and the woman the opportunity to prescreen before opening communication. I like to compare it to two people meeting out in public: Man smiles at woman. She smiles back. He approaches her and starts a conversation.

[Popsicle]

Why doesn't it make sense? It's a very low effort method that gives both the man and the woman the opportunity to prescreen before opening communication. I like to compare it to two people meeting out in public: Man smiles at woman. She smiles back. He approaches her and starts a conversation.

 

It doesn't feel good to me. And I need to feel good.

That's all I can tell you.

There is nothing about OLD that I feel compares to IRL

[Spring23]

It doesn't feel good to me. And I need to feel good.

That's all I can tell you.

There is nothing about OLD that I feel compares to IRL

 

I never did online dating but my guess is if a man shows any cyber interest in you then he's interested. Maybe he's a little interested maybe he's a lot. Cyber stuff sucks because all you have are theses silly written clues.

[Shining One]

I never did online dating but my guess is if a man shows any cyber interest in you then he's interested. Maybe he's a little interested maybe he's a lot. Cyber stuff sucks because all you have are theses silly written clues.

Speaking for myself, I try to minimize my level of interest early. It does me no good to get excited about a woman who most likely won't respond to my message. I save my excitement for when we actually have a date scheduled.

[OatsAndHall]

Look at this way...

 

Option A: Write 100 initial messages, receive 5 responses from women.

Option B: Favorite 100 women. 10 women favorite you in response. Write 10 initial messages, receive 5 responses.

 

Option B makes a lot more sense to me.

 

This is the best explanation. I learned to use these features after using the sites for about six months. I would still send out messages to women that I was really interested in but solely used the "interested", "favorites", "meet-me" features on those that either a) didn't have a ton of info on their bio to go by or b) those that I "matched" with but was on the fence with.

[coolheadal]

It doesn't feel good to me. And I need to feel good.

That's all I can tell you.

There is nothing about OLD that I feel compares to IRL

 

They always do this but like I said it's better to say hello, hi an etc. then to hold out until you contact them back and say hello, hi an etc.. Like they made a move but you need to finish it off.

[Dis]

It means one of two things...

 

#1-He's too much of a p***** to message you but wants you to know he's out there and interested

 

#2- He thinks of you as an option but doesnt know if he wants to pursue you

[Dis]

Favoriting is such a passive thing to do

 

When guys favorited me, nothing ever came from it

 

Fortune favors the bold

[Shining One]

Favoriting is such a passive thing to do

I would argue that sitting back and waiting is a passive thing to do. Adding someone to favorites, while admittedly low-effort, is actively doing something.

[coolheadal]

I usually Liked or don't use the words Hi, Hello and just say what's on my mind. But I can't speak for other guys they're all doing whatever they want to say or not to say to women online.

[Dis]

I would argue that sitting back and waiting is a passive thing to do. Adding someone to favorites, while admittedly low-effort, is actively doing something.

 

I dont disagree

[Mrin]

Look at this way...

 

Option A: Write 100 initial messages, receive 5 responses from women.

Option B: Favorite 100 women. 10 women favorite you in response. Write 10 initial messages, receive 5 responses.

 

Option B makes a lot more sense to me.

 

This. When I used to be on Match I used to use something similar. I would look at a woman's profile and only write if she looked at mine. Why? Three reasons:

 

1. She was actually able to see that it was me who looked at her profile - meaning she had an active Match account and could write back

 

2. She was actively interesting in who was checking her out

 

3. She had seen my main profile pic and wanted to see more

 

My "success ratio" was very high doing it this way.

[Spring23]

Favoriting is such a passive thing to do

 

When guys favorited me, nothing ever came from it

 

Fortune favors the bold

 

As far as all the bizarre stuff I've experienced on the internet "favoriting" sounds nice. LOL.

 

Just think of it as a compliment. Someone is telling you that you're their favorite.

[Gaeta]

I remember when I was online there was always these sames men that would put me in their favorite but would never message. I viewed it as weak. If you are a grown man in your 40s than send me a darn message. Putting me in your favorite in the hope I will make the first step and message you is weak and passive and not the type of man I want in my life. I usually removed them from following me.

[PegNosePete]

Whatever "logic" you use or reasoning you use for how the flow should go (ie. I favourite you, you favourite me back, I message you) etc or how you compare it to smiling in a bar whatever... there will always be some people who see it as a low level of interest, weak, passive aggressive, etc. Whether you agree or not, favouriting/liking/whatever will always get you a lower success rate than sending actual proper messages because it's not what YOU believe that matters, it's what the recipient believes.

[Jj66]

No idea. I only did it once when I was on a site that had that type of feature. And that was after we went on a real life date. It was my way of saying I really liked our date. Nothing more.

 

When I was on okCupid I didn't write anyone who had not viewed my profile. I did this because it meant she was actively using the system and her viewing my profile meant she could possibly be interested. You couldn't know who liked you unless you paid money for the premium service.

 

The one thing I liked about the tinder model is that it required an inidication of interest from both people before you could communicate. The only thing you could do was like someone. Or not. You had to make a yes or no decision before moving to the next profile. If you both liked each other then the system would let you know that. Only then could you communicate. And when you did communicate you knew going in that she liked your profile (or at least your main pic if she is a power swiper).

 

Now tinder did add a super-like feature that you could use once per day. I guess that would be the equivalent of favoriting someone. I never once used it myself but I did get superliked a few times. The thing with superliking is that you knew ahead of time that they liked you before you made a yes or no decision. If my gf's friend had not superliked me for her (they switched phones and picked guys for each other) we wouldn't have ever connected. It was the superlike that made me read the profile instead of instantly rejecting her for being too far away.