Emica456 Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 We broke up 2 weeks ago and I wanted to make it work. If I don't say anything to him he makes an effort and acts like he cares. But if I try to talk to him to see how to make things work he ignores me and plays games. It's really getting frustrating. I'm about to just throw in the towel for good.
Ronnys93 Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Ego boost/immaturity. It's best to block him and remove him from your life permanently. These things will just continue or escalate. 1
Bromeo Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Its not just guys, ladies do this too. I was strung along for months till I cut it off. But yes, it is immaturity, they are too weak to end it, and I was too immature to understand and walk away. I won't be in the future however. 3
d0nnivain Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Some people like the chase. Just block him & move on. Don't respond when he reaches out. Problem solved. 1
magnesium Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 And remember not to beat yourself up about this. You had good intentions; it wasn't your fault that someone else took advantage of that.
Altair0770 Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Say nothing, walk away, block, NC, heal. As long as he knows you're gonna try to "make it work" he's just going to eat the ice cream without worrying about the calories. 1
OatsAndHall Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 He'd either make an attempt to work things out or he'd cut off contact if he was mature. He's apparently not. So, I'd just cut him off and move on. It's easier said than done but it's just necessary when someone can't act like an adult.
BC1980 Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 It sounds like your typical push/pull dynamic. He only shows interest if you are out of the picture. That is not healthy and will only end badly. 1
stillafool Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 I think if they are the ones who broke up with you you are stringing yourself along by not moving on. If they really wanted you back they would apologize and ask you back. If not by staying around you are hurting yourself. 1
preraph Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 I read it as just being detached enough to be just friends. The thinking would be "I don't hate her; I just don't want to be her boyfriend. If she just wanted sex and had no other demands, I'd for sure do it." A woman's thinking would be "I don't want to have sex with him because I'm no longer attracted but if he just wants to be friends, that would be great." But when you have both thinking lines together as in a couple who broke up, this equation rarely works out, as you can see. In this case, he might go for "just acquaintances who stay in touch as long as there's nothing better to do" or "just sex if she would limit it to that," and she wants to construct a full relationship and doesn't want anything in between, though she is letting him continue to contact her because she hopes he'll change his mind. Like others have said, this is probably going nowhere and is only going to degenerate, so you should block him or tell him you don't want a reminder so you can move on and then get busy socializing asap and do that, move on. And I have seen that men especially will get some enjoyment out of coming around just enough to get validation that the woman is still pining for him. It gives him an ego boost and he probably loves bragging about it to his friends.
Bromeo Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 I read it as just being detached enough to be just friends. The thinking would be "I don't hate her; I just don't want to be her boyfriend. If she just wanted sex and had no other demands, I'd for sure do it." A woman's thinking would be "I don't want to have sex with him because I'm no longer attracted but if he just wants to be friends, that would be great." But when you have both thinking lines together as in a couple who broke up, this equation rarely works out, as you can see. In this case, he might go for "just acquaintances who stay in touch as long as there's nothing better to do" or "just sex if she would limit it to that," and she wants to construct a full relationship and doesn't want anything in between, though she is letting him continue to contact her because she hopes he'll change his mind. Like others have said, this is probably going nowhere and is only going to degenerate, so you should block him or tell him you don't want a reminder so you can move on and then get busy socializing asap and do that, move on. And I have seen that men especially will get some enjoyment out of coming around just enough to get validation that the woman is still pining for him. It gives him an ego boost and he probably loves bragging about it to his friends. God, I've never done this. It amazes me that some do. 1
Been Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Because you tolerate it. Nobody can string you along unless you ALLOW him/her to do it. You have to have expectations that don't change and if they are not met your out of there. No exceptions. Weve all been strung along so don't feel bad. Its a learning experience and it will make you stronger if you learn from it. 1
Bromeo Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Isn't it wonderful? The knowing that something is wrong, you want to fix it, and the other person doesn't, but makes just enough contact to keep you hanging on? Best part is, the dumpee has enough feelings to be strung along in "hopes" that the old relationship will spark back up. This was me. Every time I'd back off, she'd reach out. Looking back, it was so toxic I felt like it was a fever. Took me 5 months to break the cycle. It's a lose-lose for the dumpee. They can accept the stringing, or cut it off and what if themselves to death. I still do somestimes, even though EVERY female friend agreed with my actions, one even calling my ex a "horrid wretch" for ridiculing me. However, I've learned a ton, and my emotional discipline is now at the veteran level. Never, ever, ever again. 2
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