sala93 Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 (edited) My boyfriend and I broke up today. His behaviour afterwards is confusing me. I know that he is quite emotionally unstable and can be horrible when upset and angry. It doesn't surprise me that he insulted me following the breakup. Saying things like how it was his mistake to stay, that he shouldn't have said the lovely things he said, yadeeya, even the following insult "you thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world?!" in reference to when he used to call me that. I told him to not talk like that to me and he agreed he will stop talking to me. But then, he continues to message me, including saying that since I'm ignoring him he will proceed to not talk to me again, and has now tried calling me at least seven times? Why doesn't he stop? Why does he keep on calling me like this if he doesn't want me? Edited April 8, 2017 by sala93 Wanted to add things
anduina Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 Is it surprising why someone emotionally unstable would react in emotionally unstable ways? Maybe he's blaming you for the break up so he doesn't have to be the bad guy? 1
Redhead14 Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 My boyfriend and I broke up today. His behaviour afterwards is confusing me. I know that he is quite emotionally unstable and can be horrible when upset and angry. It doesn't surprise me that he insulted me following the breakup. Saying things like how it was his mistake to stay, that he shouldn't have said the lovely things he said, yadeeya, even the following insult "you thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world?!" in reference to when he used to call me that. I told him to not talk like that to me and he agreed he will stop talking to me. But then, he continues to message me, including saying that since I'm ignoring him he will proceed to not talk to me again, and has now tried calling me at least seven times? Why doesn't he stop? Why does he keep on calling me like this if he doesn't want me? Why doesn't he stop? Why does he keep on calling me like this if he doesn't want me? I know that he is quite emotionally unstable and can be horrible when upset And, the mystery is . . . what?????? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 I know how you feel. I have an ex who was similarly emotionally unstable and hurled horrible insults and threats when he was angry. And then would flip a switch and figuratively bang down my door to get my attentions. Your boyfriend's current behaviour is apparently not out of the norm, right? This is who he is. You know this. It doesn't make it right, but it is typical of people who are mentally unsound. Love, hate. Love, hate. Lather, rinse, repeat. People who are unstable and going to behave...well...unstably. You need to leave this behind you for good. It's not going to get better. 1
ImComplicated Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 Clearly, he does still want you, he's just upset/emotional. It sounds to me like he's really hurt by you, for whatever reason, and so he's trying everything he can to hurt you the way you've hurt him. 1
preraph Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 He's desperately trying to belittle you and make you feel low so that you will see him as superior and want him back. He wants you to feel little so he can feel big. It's very abusive. You need to just block him and be grateful you got out of this with only some childish wishful-thinking words on his part. Just block him. Don't put up with this. 1
The Urbanyst Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 You inflicted pain. He wants to makes you feel equally bad. Not complex at all. In fact, it should be pretty obvious. 1
Sharzi Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 He hurt. Ofcourse this behavior is childish. You were dating a 12 years old. Good news is it is over.
todreaminblue Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 hurt people hurt people....thats why you should just forgive him.....and let him go ....wish him well....in every sense of the word.........deb 2
OatsAndHall Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 It doesn't matter how hurt or "broken' a person is over a break-up. They don't have the right to behave badly and insult anyone over it. That isn't how an adult handles their emotions. We don't have control over our emotions: we feel how we feel. But, we certainly have control over how we react to these emotions. An ADULT that is that upset knows that they need to remove themselves from the the situation and start the process of moving on. Not dwelling on it like a child by hurling insults their former significant other. 1
reeseyummy Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 He's hurt, and he wants you to fix it. You don't have to, if you've broke up, his emotions isn't your problem anymore. It's normal for him to feel upset, so it may take time for him to cope with it. Just don't nurture it, he seems kind of dangerous. 2
Author sala93 Posted April 9, 2017 Author Posted April 9, 2017 He's desperately trying to belittle you and make you feel low so that you will see him as superior and want him back. He wants you to feel little so he can feel big. It's very abusive. You need to just block him and be grateful you got out of this with only some childish wishful-thinking words on his part. Just block him. Don't put up with this. As if I'd want someone back if they treat me horribly like that. But yes, I read up on this theory today on a dating website. He is also constantly trying to blame me for many things, for the breakup, when I know in my heart I didn't do anything wrong, he just gave up on me. I can see possibly his blaming is his way of trying to make me feel bad for him and maybe want to fix it between us.
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