jabm Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 It seems silly but I fell into a very passionate relationship with a guy that only lasted about 2 months. We fell very deep into it and even spent the holidays together. He met my family and we talked about our future. Everything seemed perfect and I felt like I had found something so permanent and authentic and then, out of nowhere, he said "a switch had gone off" and ended it. I was heartbroken. Tried NC for about a week and then he contacted me telling me he missed me and I indulged thinking we could be friends. After a platonic night of hanging at his house, we got into a fight about our relationship which ended in him revealing that he's now seeing someone else who "will never be as special" and a lot of tears. It ended with me telling him that we must take a break from contact. A month in, he had contacted me 3 separate times with long "i miss you" text type messages. I was strong for about a month and ignored them. A couple of weeks ago, after some drinks and an accidental sighting of him, I gave in and texted him back. We indulged in each other's electronic company for a day or two until he felt the need to kindly remind me that he can only offer me "compassionate friendship". Although I knew it was true, it hurt all over again. Annoyingly, my friend messaged him on facebook knowing that we were talking telling him to "stop contacting me if he wants me to be happy". He sent me a text saying that "he's going to disappear for a while so I can find my happiness" and other BS like that. I feel so defeated like I've lost my power! I'm angry at myself for allowing him to get control. I felt like before he may have felt guilty or genuinely missed me but now I feel annoyed that he feels like he has the power again and is doing me a favor by not talking to me. Im still so hung up on him and our relationship and I feel very helpless and powerless after our last interaction. Any advice?
preraph Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 It moved too fast the first time. He likes to date around, obviously, and probably really gets off on the first couple of months of a new woman because he likes conquering and not so much sticking around for the humdrum everyday part of a real relationship. If he's under 25, then maybe by the time he's 30 he'll be burnt out on short shallow relationships just trying to get sex and excitement, but there's no guarantee. If he's older, he is probably just someone who should never marry and just date and have sex with the variety of people he wants to pursue, I guess.
choyhtya Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 OP he sounds like he might be a player, and that's coming from one ( former). Some will ditch you after you have sex with them but some will stick aroubd for a couple months or maybe even more. I'm not sure whats going on in this guys head but I think its safe to say that a lof of what he said was just words. I would try stay in NC and do my best to move on.
lovelymay Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Exactly this happened to me as well, also break up after 2 months! It was so weird because I don't believe he was a player... He did a lot for me and his friends were very exciting to see me. They even introduced me to each other... I'm heart broken. Since our break up we've had no contact at all. Except he keeps checking my FB and Snapchat. I unfollowed him everywhere though. I know it's tempting to stay in touch and stay friends, but don't get yourself heartbroken again! He doesn't know what he wants and you shouldn't put energy in that.
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