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Do I go back or continue in New relationship

Messed up in head

By Messed up in head
in Dating

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Messed up in head New Member

Messed up in head

Posted
Posted

I have broke from a 12 year relationship due to his alcohol problem when he was drunk he was nasty would say some hurtful things and sometimes threaten death when he was sober he would be the best made me feel special strong and safe we have 3 kids together wich he continued to see after the break up I got with some 1 else with in weeks off the break up and now pregnant its been 6 months since breaking my long term relationship and 4 months for my new 1 I'm 3 months pregnant but the problem is now my ex is sober again I've got really confused on my feels he has said he lives me and wants me back he is also willing to help with the baby I'm carrying but don't know if I'm gonna make a big mistake by finishing it with current B.f to be on my own to figure out what I want

Arieswoman Established Member

Arieswoman

Posted
Posted

Messed up,

Please get yourself some counselling to deal with this.

 

Your number 1 priority is your children, not these two guys. And I don't believe that your ex has suddenly got sober after years of alcohol abuse. Alcoholics are well-known to be liars.

 

Maybe you should speak to Child Protective Services/Social Services to arrange a safe house for you away from both these guys while you prepare for this new baby?

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act00 Established Member

act00

Posted
Posted

Your post is really hard to read. No punctuation.

 

I think you need to separate yourself from both these men. You have three children to raise and a fourth on the way. Concentrate on raising these babies and for the love of God, get yourself on birth control. Which one is the father of the fourth?

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

He hasn't been sober long enough for this to be a lasting change. AA will tell somebody not to start or resume a relationship for a least 1 year.

 

 

If you want to understand your alcoholic EX & you own role in enabling him, go to an Al-Anon meeting.

 

 

Meanwhile concentrate on how you are going to support 4 kids.

coolheadal Established Member

coolheadal

Posted
Posted
I have broke from a 12 year relationship due to his alcohol problem when he was drunk he was nasty would say some hurtful things and sometimes threaten death when he was sober he would be the best made me feel special strong and safe we have 3 kids together wich he continued to see after the break up I got with some 1 else with in weeks off the break up and now pregnant its been 6 months since breaking my long term relationship and 4 months for my new 1 I'm 3 months pregnant but the problem is now my ex is sober again I've got really confused on my feels he has said he lives me and wants me back he is also willing to help with the baby I'm carrying but don't know if I'm gonna make a big mistake by finishing it with current B.f to be on my own to figure out what I want

 

Yes, this is normal when they drink and get drunk. Then go on the war path and attach the women they're with. You did the right think, but you have kids with him and that's another issue. So that's why your confused what are you going to do? You need him to help you with the kids you have birth from him. He would need to stop drinking, that's going to take a lot on you both. He needs to go to AA meetings to stop that drinking. You can toss out the bottles or beer so they can't drink. If he drinks you leave again and take the kids. You have a mess on your hands you don't need to drunken BF on you. Not much we all can say to you but you need to say enough is enough. Why is he drinking?

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
I have broke from a 12 year relationship due to his alcohol problem when he was drunk he was nasty would say some hurtful things and sometimes threaten death when he was sober he would be the best made me feel special strong and safe we have 3 kids together wich he continued to see after the break up I got with some 1 else with in weeks off the break up and now pregnant its been 6 months since breaking my long term relationship and 4 months for my new 1 I'm 3 months pregnant but the problem is now my ex is sober again I've got really confused on my feels he has said he lives me and wants me back he is also willing to help with the baby I'm carrying but don't know if I'm gonna make a big mistake by finishing it with current B.f to be on my own to figure out what I want

 

Get focused on just YOU and your children. They are your #1 priority. Not your selfish desire to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. Going back to an alcoholic is putting your children with him and the new baby in a bad environment. Your ex is "sober' now???? after only a few months -- you are being delusional and/or poorly educated about the process of becoming sober and the journey an alcoholic is on when in the recovery process.

 

Now, you're pregnant by a guy you've only known for 4 months . . . your propensity for bad decision making is affecting your children and your future.

 

Being on your own will allow you to focus and get right with YOURSELF. It is completely inappropriate to introduce 3 children to basically, a stranger. Do you know that the abuse rate for children of single mothers who bring dating partners into their lives too soon is extremely high? You don't know who you're dating yet . . .

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