Shining One Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 Are there any ladies here who have asked out a sizable number of men (let's say 10+) who would not recommend that women ask men out? This thread seems to be echoing the consensus I've experienced among people in my life: Women who never tried or it only tried a few times are firmly against it. Women who have asked out many men are supportive of it.
Lilyana76 Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 I found this video.. and I think its 100% spot on and relevant. 1
alphamale Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 I've been asked out by women many times in my life, and I have turned every one of them down. It's not because they asked me out, it was because they were always women who I had no interest in dating. If I had, I would have asked them out long before they had a chance to ask me! indeed...many times the least desirable women are the most pushy
Moves Like Jagger Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 My husband is very introverted but he still took the lead in courting me. Even the meekest man will find courage if he is interested in a a woman. I agree that a man who wants a woman will ask her out. I attended college with a woman who was loud and unfortunate looking. She was very aggressive with men and it was painful to watch. One time, she said to a handsome dude: "Can I get on the elevator with you? You're cute." It just seemed so thirsty. Betty, I'm really confused. That girl who is is aggressive is doing something that traditional women do all the time and that is flirting. There is a big difference between complimenting someone on their looks versus asking a guy out who shown no signs of interest. The problem with you, Cookiesanddough, and Easy Heart is that you believe that women should take the passive role. By passive role, I am talking about how women should not only not ask guys out, but they should not do something simple like flirting and being social. Even the women who discourage other women from asking guys out believe that women should take action at learning how to flirt with guys. I see traditional girls approach guys in their social circle all the time. It's part of being social. I remember one time when this one girl noticed that the guys in her social circle wouldn't talk to the girls in the group. She was so embarrassed that she decided to talk to guys. This is how my friend met his girlfriend. He joined a singles group and was social with a lot of people there. One night at a party, one of the woman who he knew approached him and started talking to him. He got the feeling that she was flirting with him so he decided to ask her out. That woman got into a relationship without asking him out by doing simple things like being social and showing interest. On the other hand, you have women who don't flirt with guys nor ask them out. They have this really cold, serious look. They never smile or show any emotion. How can you get a boyfriend if you refused to be friends with everyone in your social circle? I can understand expecting guys to ask women out. But to also not expect women to learn how to flirt is even more extreme.
BettyDraper Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 (edited) Betty, I'm really confused. That girl who is is aggressive is doing something that traditional women do all the time and that is flirting. There is a big difference between complimenting someone on their looks versus asking a guy out who shown no signs of interest. The problem with you, Cookiesanddough, and Easy Heart is that you believe that women should take the passive role. By passive role, I am talking about how women should not only not ask guys out, but they should not do something simple like flirting and being social. Even the women who discourage other women from asking guys out believe that women should take action at learning how to flirt with guys. I see traditional girls approach guys in their social circle all the time. It's part of being social. I remember one time when this one girl noticed that the guys in her social circle wouldn't talk to the girls in the group. She was so embarrassed that she decided to talk to guys. This is how my friend met his girlfriend. He joined a singles group and was social with a lot of people there. One night at a party, one of the woman who he knew approached him and started talking to him. He got the feeling that she was flirting with him so he decided to ask her out. That woman got into a relationship without asking him out by doing simple things like being social and showing interest. On the other hand, you have women who don't flirt with guys nor ask them out. They have this really cold, serious look. They never smile or show any emotion. How can you get a boyfriend if you refused to be friends with everyone in your social circle? I can understand expecting guys to ask women out. But to also not expect women to learn how to flirt is even more extreme. You're wrong because I mentioned that I would flirt with men in an earlier post. There are many different ways to flirt. Some women are more aggressive like my school chum was and others are more coquettish. I have always been a subtle flirt and it worked for me. Smiling at men, saying hello when they smiled at me or stared was enough. Flirting subtly is much harder to learn because it requires enough emotional intelligence to read body language and social nuances. Any fool can say "You look handsome! How about a date?" Being aggressive with men looks desperate and it sets a precedent of a man not having to do very much during courtship with a forthright woman. As a traditional woman, I preferred decisive and confident men who took the initiative to ask me out and plan dates. I don't have to worry about "getting a boyfriend" because I'm happily married. Thanks for your concern though. Edited April 15, 2017 by BettyDraper
Miss Spider Posted April 15, 2017 Posted April 15, 2017 Betty, I'm really confused. That girl who is is aggressive is doing something that traditional women do all the time and that is flirting. There is a big difference between complimenting someone on their looks versus asking a guy out who shown no signs of interest. The problem with you, Cookiesanddough, and Easy Heart is that you believe that women should take the passive role. By passive role, I am talking about how women should not only not ask guys out, but they should not do something simple like flirting and being social. Even the women who discourage other women from asking guys out believe that women should take action at learning how to flirt with guys. I see traditional girls approach guys in their social circle all the time. It's part of being social. I remember one time when this one girl noticed that the guys in her social circle wouldn't talk to the girls in the group. She was so embarrassed that she decided to talk to guys. This is how my friend met his girlfriend. He joined a singles group and was social with a lot of people there. One night at a party, one of the woman who he knew approached him and started talking to him. He got the feeling that she was flirting with him so he decided to ask her out. That woman got into a relationship without asking him out by doing simple things like being social and showing interest. On the other hand, you have women who don't flirt with guys nor ask them out. They have this really cold, serious look. They never smile or show any emotion. How can you get a boyfriend if you refused to be friends with everyone in your social circle? I can understand expecting guys to ask women out. But to also not expect women to learn how to flirt is even more extreme. Where did any of us say women shouldn't flirt???
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