scared shy Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 Okay to the synopses of my situation… I love this jerk that moved in with my good friend about 5 months ago. We’ve known each other for almost 7 years. Dated in the very beginning, stopped, quit talking for a while, but have always run back into each other. This last time we have been talking for about a year, nothing but a few kisses here and there and no commitment or anything like that. In the time that he has lived with my friend he was able to mess up pretty bad and start using drugs, I get worried and write a letter to his mother (yes very harsh I know, but I did it and don’t regret it at all). I figured he would never speak to me again and move out and I could get over him and carry on with my life. Well I was WRONG! He was very mad at me, enough to hang out with the liar neighbor chick that told me of his elusive drug use in the first place. He knows I can’t stand her, so they are best friends now. (no, they are not doing she lives with her boyfriend next door, they just like to party) Well I have not been over to my friend’s house since all this happened until last week, when he called me a fat bitch. Granted I am not Kate Moss thin and I could lose probably 15 pounds, but he knows I have issues with this and so he picked the most hurtful thing he could to attack me with. I reply with, just go away, please just go away. Fast forward to a few nights ago, my friend and I got to the bar and he and bad evil neighbor girl are at the bar. They sit on their side, we sit on ours. He ends up leaving neighbor girl at the bar while he goes and runs his errands, she leaves with her boyfriend who was soooo happy to pick up his trashed classless girlfriend from the bar. SO the jerk comes back and calls my friend outside, she goes out there for 10 to 15 minutes leaving me in the bar to make friends. I do with some guys and I am sitting by the window and so as soon as the guys come in, both the friend and said jerk come into the bar. He apologizes profusely about what he said. I tell him to take the apology and shove it. He and have our little word games all night long. He wants to know who I got the necklace I am wearing from… (myself duh). My friend borrowed my phone and was reading my text messages, she mentions the message from a guy I got and he immediately wants her to read it to him, I say NO. He tackles me after we have a water fight he starts. He has the option to move out and yet he chooses to stay. Is it so he can watch them wheel me away on gurney with a straight jacket because he is seriously driving me batty? What is wrong with him? What does he want from me? Obviously I am a glutton for punishment, but if he would just go away then it’s easier. I can’t do NC when he is friends with a lot of my friends and has managed to place himself where I am a lot of the time.
blackendangel13 Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 I think he wants you back. Maybe he thinks these games will one day win you over because he is showing he is still interested in you. My ex would not leave me alone in our time apart despite some really horrible things I said and how hard I tried to push him away. We had a lot of mutual friends too. Its been a year and I have come around a little. But we didn't have these issues (i.e. drug problems) in the relationship. Either you need to step back from this group of friends and hang outs a little or learn to completely ignore him and block him out (if this is an option.). He obviuosly is either wanting you back, or enjoying playing games with your head. Maybe he gets off on your fights. He seems very messed up in the head too if you ask me. He seems to have the mentality of a first grader where if he pushes your face in the mud it means he likes you.
Author scared shy Posted July 29, 2005 Author Posted July 29, 2005 It's not that he's not leaving me alone. He doesn't call me, I don't call him since the letter went out... well he did call once and has sent some test messages but that was just to express how pissed off he was. But the other night when we were hanging out and "resolving" how horrible he made me feel (yes I hurt his feelings by ratting him out, but mine was not malicious and he was very malicious) he just like you said, blackendangel13, is a grade school meanie. I feel like I shouldn't have to get new friends, he placed himself in my world, I am not going around and bothering him. I wrote in another post that he makes me feel like he is doing all these things on purpose and Alaphamale, bless his heart said he is... I know somewhere he has to care about me, I care about him... but until and this is a big IF, until his head is pulled from the inner depths of his a$$ I don't see anything changing. I can be civil I suppose and not hang out over there unless absolutely necessary??? That doesn't change all the other people we both mutually know... I mean knowing eachother for 7 years makes it hard for you not to know the same people. Has anyone else had this problem and what would you do? These are my friends too, these are my rocks when I am having a shi&&y day. Why should I have to give everything up, because he can't decide if he hates me or likes me? I feel the straight jacket getting closer and closer!
blackendangel13 Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 Believe me I know your pain. My latest ex (bad ex) not to be confused with the one I posted about above, and I have lots of mutual friends and we go to the same places all the time. It SUCKS. I hate it. I don't believe you should have to give up your friends. I didn't mean it to sound that way. I am more saying, have them hang out with you other places that your ex doesn't usually go to. Don't drop your friends but branch out a little so its not as likely your ex can look at which day of the week it is and pin-point where he can find you. This is a very crappy situation I do agree. If you ignore him, he will probably like that and challenge you more. You need a big guy friend to just beat him up! Just kidding. Do you want him back? Do you want him completely out of your life forever? Or something else? You need to tell him exactly this but I doubt it will help much because he seems to be perfectly content making your life miserable. Its on you to make a change in that.
Author scared shy Posted August 3, 2005 Author Posted August 3, 2005 I have told him to go far away from me. I guess I didn't say it with enough conviction though. Maybe I don't all the way mean it, but something has got to give. I am going over to my friends house tonight (the one he lives with) so we will see how he reacts to me and what nonsense he hits me with. If he could just figure his stuff out, then I could have a clearer idea of where I want to be in his life. It's just upsetting to have him so close. Like it almost gives me hope when he says certain little things that make me think he is going to turn his life around, but maybe he just says those things cause he knows that's what I want to hear in order to keep me dangling.
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