connormo Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Hi. I've been on pof,okcupid, and tinder for years. Recently I've been getting zero matches or responses on it.. is this happening to others as well? I used to be able to make a new tinder account and have 20 new matches within a day or two (granted I swipe right for everybody then filter through after) now I don't get any matches. No messages from the other sites either. I know (or think) my pictures are good because I've posted them on rankmyphotos and the ones I use top out at better than 80/90+ percent of men on there (although that could just mean I'm king of the uglies judging by the type of people on there lmao) Has online dating slowed down for others as well? I have taken a more brutally honest approach to my bios so maybe that had something to do with it but I still try to make it funny maybe people just don't see the humour in it lol. After 5 or so years of trying to meet people online I'm pretty f'in tired of the B.S... gonna have to take a break from it but it's honestly the only way I see myself meeting a proper woman since I work in buttf*** nowhere most of my time and I'm also socially disabled- strangers intimidate me lol
Popsicle Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Have you thought about moving and changing jobs? 1
Larryville Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 I guess recycling this particular subject is par for the course. People refuse to come to grips that OLD is just a tool, and much of the reason why some people fail miserable in OLD may have nothing to do with themselves. Seriously jacked up people who sext pictures of their junk, gold-diggers out for free meals, married people secretly looking for a little action on the side, scammers preying on lonely people in an attempt to extort money. It is a microcosm of the ills of society, it brings out the worst in many people, so in order to make it work you must be able to navigate thru the crap. If you lack the social skills, communication skills or basic common sense to steer clear of the swamp crud it will never work for you. Now a screwed up society aside some folks just don’t or won’t get it right, the same reason why some people are terrible athletes or some are terrible test takers. However it isn’t magic for so many the main reason why online dating doesn't work for the majority of people is shockingly simple, its ineffective or poorly developed profiles. Have any of you tried to hire someone and looked at a resume and you knew within seconds of glancing at it immediately tossed it in the trash (and had not even seen the person) OLD is like that. Many of the struggles are self-inflicted. Ask someone to talk about themselves, try to sell themselves some people simply can’t do it and opening their mouths actually makes things worse. Many people, particularly those younger say they ignore profiles, which perplexes me. You would not hire someone with a jacked up profile, but hey. Yes someone with a screwed up profile pic and a seriously poorly written profile can get lucky, me I don’t ignore the obvious, maybe some folks are so desperate for companionship that picking from the cesspool of humanity is their style, no biggie. However your dating profile is an advertisement. But keep in mind failure on OLD is more the norm, only about 20% of online daters say it's working for them, which is defined by whether they're dating, in a relationship, engaged or married as a result. That means that 80% of online daters are NOT getting the result they think they're paying for on those sites. If you keep failing at OLD you must figure out how to get attention, cause engagement, pique curiosity, create a favorable impression and generate a response. If your profile fails at any single one of those jobs, you fail. Game over. No click? No date. No intrigue? No sale. And folks as mean as this sounds take a good, long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself why would someone want to be with me? True, honest self-assessment is vital. No matter how many platitudes folks either here or in your real life throw out at you we can’t fix your mindset, we can’t fix your smile, we can't fix your style, we can’t fix your teeth, we can’t fix your height, we can’t fix your weight, we can’t fix your intelligence or personality. You can’t force someone to be with you, that is the bottom line. 7
TheBathWater Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 I was having this same exact experience about a year ago, but I've since turned things around into a success unmatched by my past success years with OLD. There's a recent thread on here someone started called something like "Observations of Online Dating after 1 year" or something like that, and in there I give a detailed response on how to turn things around. Let me know if you find it useful. 1
IfonlyIknew Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Online dating today has taken away the authentic initiation of meeting someone, it stores information into our subconscious and we end of disappointed. Anyone can make themselves perfect on paper. If you get past that point with someone, shut all the online crap down, it's destroyed us 1
coolheadal Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Hi. I've been on pof,okcupid, and tinder for years. Recently I've been getting zero matches or responses on it.. is this happening to others as well? I used to be able to make a new tinder account and have 20 new matches within a day or two (granted I swipe right for everybody then filter through after) now I don't get any matches. No messages from the other sites either. I know (or think) my pictures are good because I've posted them on rankmyphotos and the ones I use top out at better than 80/90+ percent of men on there (although that could just mean I'm king of the uglies judging by the type of people on there lmao) Has online dating slowed down for others as well? I have taken a more brutally honest approach to my bios so maybe that had something to do with it but I still try to make it funny maybe people just don't see the humour in it lol. After 5 or so years of trying to meet people online I'm pretty f'in tired of the B.S... gonna have to take a break from it but it's honestly the only way I see myself meeting a proper woman since I work in buttf*** nowhere most of my time and I'm also socially disabled- strangers intimidate me lol Forget the real world "hey would you like to go out with me" that doesn't work anymore. Strangers on the street or Strangers talk to you online to meet up for a date. Which is better. So you gone online and now notice it's slowed down. Yes it has. Thanks to Western Africa Fake Women/Men caused a lot of issues. They are still there playing tricks still. Regular women are not around so much as before. I've noticed that too. Do not use the same zipcode where you live use another one because you are running into the same sort of women prior. Photo just need one of your true self today. We are all strangers at first and no one as sign on them that reads "Just ask me out and I am yours forever!" 2
Erik30 Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 There's already good advice here so I'll stick to Tinder.. it's not just you who isn't getting any matches. Tinder intentionally buries your profile so people will buy a "boost" to make them more visible. The app still works but if you're not willing to pay, you have to be patient. All women on Tinder aren't rejecting you, a lot of them haven't even seen your profile yet
Popsicle Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 I'm going to invent a singles friendship app for locals only. No pressure, no contrived goals, no expectations, no event to attend or thing to do, just people who want to meet new people and interact. In fact, the pushing or romance or sex would be strictly prohibited on the site. And singles only! I think thats a much better and more natural way for people too meet each other without pressure and if something happens, it happens. People would be more open to that and less quicker to reject. 3
palmsand Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Maybe just take a short break, and come back in a couple/few weeks. I find there is much more activity when I log back in after a while. Even though your pics are good, you could still change them. You could have two equally attractive pics, but that show different sides of you, give a different impression. Maybe appeal to different people. 1
Medsop Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 It's a dating app called Bumble and that has worked better for me better than Tinder. Also POF has worked better than OKCupid. I stopped using pay sites because i think everyone is now on the free sites
act00 Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 There's always an ebb and flow and there are a ton of frogs out there. If you're getting frustrated with all of it, take a break. Just stop for a month or two, concentrate on yourself, maybe you'll meet a hot chick at the grocery store, and life goes on. Then dive back in one weekend when you cave and decide to see what's going on.
Chilli Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 (edited) I'm going to invent a singles friendship app for locals only. No pressure, no contrived goals, no expectations, no event to attend or thing to do, just people who want to meet new people and interact. In fact, the pushing or romance or sex would be strictly prohibited on the site. And singles only! I think thats a much better and more natural way for people too meet each other without pressure and if something happens, it happens. People would be more open to that and less quicker to reject. effg great idea pop could be fun too. when l was single l started to set up house parties for singles. ran the add and all. only ran it a few days though and then changed my mind but l had a few replies in that time. my idea was everyone each does a party, 1 party every 3- 4wks. so if you joined you'd also gotta be prepared to throw a party at your house too when your turn comes. l didn't get it all nutted out but that was the rough idea. l was thinking at least single people could get some parties happening and have some fun if nothing else, could even start a whole new trend. And if each person brought some munchies and drink if they drink and one friend , the group would keep growing and the parties would be very cheap to have. lf l wound up single again l still think l'd try it , at least have some fun and meet people if nothing else.. Edited April 7, 2017 by Chilli 1
CryForNoOne Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 Hi. I've been on pof,okcupid, and tinder for years. Recently I've been getting zero matches or responses on it.. is this happening to others as well? I used to be able to make a new tinder account and have 20 new matches within a day or two (granted I swipe right for everybody then filter through after) now I don't get any matches. No messages from the other sites either. I know (or think) my pictures are good because I've posted them on rankmyphotos and the ones I use top out at better than 80/90+ percent of men on there (although that could just mean I'm king of the uglies judging by the type of people on there lmao) Has online dating slowed down for others as well? I have taken a more brutally honest approach to my bios so maybe that had something to do with it but I still try to make it funny maybe people just don't see the humour in it lol. After 5 or so years of trying to meet people online I'm pretty f'in tired of the B.S... gonna have to take a break from it but it's honestly the only way I see myself meeting a proper woman since I work in buttf*** nowhere most of my time and I'm also socially disabled- strangers intimidate me lol It sounds like you periodically blowup your Tinder account. Have you done the same for POF or OKC? Those sites favor newer profiles. I used to be an OKC expert and wrote a guide on here 3 years ago but haven't used in a while. I think most of this stuff is still valid. The most important thing for men to remember is that it is a numbers game. Women get message bombed so the trick is to only message them when they are online. If you message them while offline, they may never even read your message. Also, contrary to popular opinion, peak hours is the WORST time to be online. You can only hold a meaningful conversation with one or two women at a time. It's much easier to do that when you are competing with a handful of men versus hundreds or thousands. I got many more dates at 6AM than 6PM... Yes, there is less selection but there are still hundreds of women online. Another great trick is to bookmark profiles if they are offline instead of liking or messaging them. Once they're bookmarked, you'll get a notification the instant they go online and can be the first to message them. Once I message them, I remove the bookmark. If they don't reply, I hide their profile so I don't click on them again by mistake. This systemic approach really works. I went from struggling to get a date to multiple dates a week, most very attractive and more than I could handle, until I finally burned out...
Chilli Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 (edited) Funny thing is though , you always hear crap about women bombarded but at the end of the day the odds are still the same in finding someone worthwhile. Met a lot of girls been on it for years and years and in and out of dead end bullsh@t but still no where, a lot. A lot even talked about it on their profile or said things like back again , or here we go again or talked about the run they'd had. Mostof the girls l met told me about the run they'd had and it usually was just a waste of time, years of time. At the end of the day the real deal odds are the same male or female real world or date site lala land, possible even in the guys favor l would actually say. Because apart from lala land date sites, a guy can go and find and ask women but that's a bit more awkward for women. Another big thing in all that is, she still looks the same and she's still the same person on a date site as she is out in the real world and in time that will all come out in the wash on a date site just like it does in the real world for all of us. Edited April 8, 2017 by Chilli
FoundLove Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 I met my husband on an online dating site, so it luckily worked out for us. Online dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the better your chances are of finding someone you can actually see yourself with. I did the online dating thing for a little over a year. It got to a point where I honestly didn't think it was going to work and I was ready to give up. I was tired of getting my hopes up just to be disappointed in the end. But thank goodness I kept at it! I spent hours working on my bio. You will find lots of websites telling you what is important when writing a bio and what you should avoid. Google is your friend! Good luck!
Chilli Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 good for you. lt does happen for some for sure according to stats. l know 2 guys that met their wife on date sites. Haven't met any women yet that have although plenty met boyfriends, some 3 or 4 over 10yrs or so but it never went anywhere. One girl l met every boyfriend she's ever had was from date sites over about 10yrs.
mja246 Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 To be honest, online dating doesn't work for 99% of people. You're reduced to a set of stats and pictures. My suggestion is to use online dating to gain confidence in talking to a few women, develop the necessary playful/fun & chill/mature convo or attitude needed that women like. Once you have this down and are finding you have more convos with women online, apply that to the real world and approach women there. The average woman is generally not used to being approached for coffee or her number out of the blue, without getting a creepy vibe from a guy. Use online dating to help the skillset, and you'll be in the 1% that actually talks to women, looking to date them. You'd be surprised how little looks and career matter once you have the conversation & confidence part down.
OatsAndHall Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 I was lucky and got quite a few dates via OLD over the last few years. But, even then, it was a circus. I put a lot of time and effort into it when I first used it: sending out messages, tinkering with my bio, figuring out what kinds of messages got responses, deciding what kinds of pics I should put up, etc..etc.. At the end of the day, I was most comfortable with it when I logged in once every couple of weeks, fired off a few messages to new users on the site, responded to several "meet-mes", "interested" (etc) and then moved on. I don't use them right now and I don't know if I will go back to it.
Chilli Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 Yeah , l only used them back when bc l wasn't getting out and working alone , new area after my marriage broke up. So , resorted to the damn computer instead. Must've met 50 or 60 girls but only actually met up with a few in person. There was really only one or two in that whole place that actually hit the spot for me though really, one or 2,but those ones didn't even reply. Actually one did and we even talked about meeting , now her l did really really like, but she disappeared , poof . But really , the other 50 or 60 were just a waste of time.
Author connormo Posted April 9, 2017 Author Posted April 9, 2017 Have you thought about moving and changing jobs? In today's economy? Easier said then done my friend. I'm a recent graduate so I'll take whatever the F*k job I can get
Author connormo Posted April 9, 2017 Author Posted April 9, 2017 Damn lots of responses for just a few days I'll try and answer most here... Someone mentioned bumble.. yes I'm on it as well but women rarely message first I've only met one girl from it. And someone asked if I delete and remake my accounts yes I've tried that and like I said when I used to remake them I'd get a tens of new matches in a day now I'm lucky to get one or two. I appreciate someone providing a source of how to improve upon my profile. Any other links would be useful lol even when I DO get matches I send messages and get little to no response or they ignore after a while (why waste both our times). Like every message I send isn't gonna be insanely intriguing- that's not how people talk in real god Damn life lol I just want to get to know a person sometimes. I've tried everything from cheesy lines to simple introductions or questions and they typically lead nowhere. I have had success in the past; of the number of partners I've had 83.33333% of them have been from online my main concern is that things have been slowing down recently for me and I'm wondering if other people have seen that trend. One time I put in my bio (tinder): This app has singlehandedly created a generation of egotistical women that have a plethora of penis at their fingertips and too much selection has resulted in their standards to skyrocket.. meanwhile a majority of the men are pervs or creeps who are just on here to get laid, and probably the reason everyone has trust issues. And of course I ended that with "also, I like mini putt and beer". (Sorry if anyone took offense (secretly not sorry)). Maybe I'm too blunt... In conclusion; Love, sex, and establishing relationships in general- sucks ASSSSSSS. (Or maybe I'm just bad at it). Thx people.
phineas Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 3 simple rules to online dating. 1.get in shape then show off that body with a tank top minimum. no shirtless pics unless on a beach or at a pool. 2.put as little text as possible in profile. Women don't read it anyways and just look at your pics. 3. don't take it seriously and make them put in some effort.
Chilli Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 3 simple rules to online dating. 1.get in shape then show off that body with a tank top minimum. no shirtless pics unless on a beach or at a pool. 2.put as little text as possible in profile. Women don't read it anyways and just look at your pics. 3. don't take it seriously and make them put in some effort. Ya gotta admit though , get in shape, man l saw very very few girls on mine anywhere near in shape . 9 out of 10 had- a few extra pounds on their profile which usually seem to mean pretty damn heavy. So ya def' don't have to bother with that one in my area. Funny though how you said keep it short they don't read it anyway. l found the exact same thing and they were always asking stuff l'd already mentioned. Changed my thing a few times actually but the best one was only 3-4 lines, heaps of interest. PS , conn, people are just fascinated about dating stuff, particularly the OL stuff l think so anything gets lots of replies.
Author connormo Posted April 9, 2017 Author Posted April 9, 2017 3 simple rules to online dating. 1.get in shape then show off that body with a tank top minimum. no shirtless pics unless on a beach or at a pool. 2.put as little text as possible in profile. Women don't read it anyways and just look at your pics. 3. don't take it seriously and make them put in some effort. I changed my avatar pic to the one I use for most of my profiles. I know it may be hard to see but I've always been in shape (although my arms have been bigger in the past- I have been lazy lately so I'll have to work on that again lol). Maybe it's not the best picture too cause it's cropped but I feel like taking a selfie in a tank top while flexing would shout "I'm a cocky douche" and get even less responses. But maybe I'll give it a shot
Rex 71 Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Funny thing is though , you always hear crap about women bombarded but at the end of the day the odds are still the same in finding someone worthwhile. Met a lot of girls been on it for years and years and in and out of dead end bullsh@t but still no where, a lot. A lot even talked about it on their profile or said things like back again , or here we go again or talked about the run they'd had. Mostof the girls l met told me about the run they'd had and it usually was just a waste of time, years of time. At the end of the day the real deal odds are the same male or female real world or date site lala land, possible even in the guys favor l would actually say. Because apart from lala land date sites, a guy can go and find and ask women but that's a bit more awkward for women. Another big thing in all that is, she still looks the same and she's still the same person on a date site as she is out in the real world and in time that will all come out in the wash on a date site just like it does in the real world for all of us. No because there's way more guys online.
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