Ex GF pregnant by new BF just 2 months after breakup..

April 7, 2017

Let me start by saying I've never joined a chat forum before in all my 27 years of living. This is a true situation that has pushed me farther than I've ever wanted to go. I need help in a big way, but here's the story..

I've dated this girl for 7 years, we've lived together for 6 of them. We've had many ups and downs but we stayed together through it all. She's even caught me talking to other girls (like serious flirty "I love you" talks) in moments that I'm not proud of, but she loved me through it anyway. She's always wanted to get married and start a family, but I always resisted knowing I wasn't ready. We fought a lot and were both too stubborn to seek counseling, so eventually I broke it off. I left because I felt guilty and wanted to give her a chance to move on and find someone that could give her what I couldn't.. well she did just that, but more on that in a second.

I moved out and it hurt her so badly. She's had a grandma and her mother pass away with cancer while we were together. Not to mention her real dad was in and out of prison her whole life.. so needless to say she's got issues.

I was the only thing she had left in this world to love, so when I left it completely destroyed her, but here's where it gets ugly. I was only moved out for 2 months before her coworker of 2 years started seeing her and got her pregnant. They've always had a bit of a friendship while her and I were together, but I trusted her and thought nothing of it. Now I'm realizing that maybe there was more to this than I realized and it's obviously killing me..

Here we are now 6 months since we broke up and I just found out she's 4 months prego, with his kid and I'm devastated. I never moved on or even dated anybody since then and am now a completely different person than I was when we were together. I found myself and wanted her back so bad, but I don't know what to do now.. I haven't said a word to her since I found out and need answers. How the hell do I go about this? I still love her and can't help but feel so guilty, like it's my fault all of this happened. She knows she's not ready for a baby, but her emotions got the best of her and now she can't take it back. I know this is long, but someone please reply..

April 7, 2017

Even if you talk to her, do you seriously think she will tell you the truth? You already know it, btw. She was seeing this guy before your break up, and she probably moved into his place the day after your last fight. I know it hurts now, but you seriously need to move on from this train wreck that you narrowly avoided. She is his problem now. Go NC and find someone else after you have healed. Bullet. Dodged. Great. Avoiding the ricochet, even better!

April 7, 2017

She's obviously ready for a baby because she didn't get an abortion plus you said she has always wanted to get married and start a family. You broke up with her so she could find someone to give her that and that is what she has done.

April 7, 2017

Let me start by saying I've never joined a chat forum before in all my 27 years of living. This is a true situation that has pushed me farther than I've ever wanted to go. I need help in a big way, but here's the story..

I've dated this girl for 7 years, we've lived together for 6 of them. We've had many ups and downs but we stayed together through it all. She's even caught me talking to other girls (like serious flirty "I love you" talks) in moments that I'm not proud of, but she loved me through it anyway. She's always wanted to get married and start a family, but I always resisted knowing I wasn't ready. We fought a lot and were both too stubborn to seek counseling, so eventually I broke it off. I left because I felt guilty and wanted to give her a chance to move on and find someone that could give her what I couldn't.. well she did just that, but more on that in a second.

I moved out and it hurt her so badly. She's had a grandma and her mother pass away with cancer while we were together. Not to mention her real dad was in and out of prison her whole life.. so needless to say she's got issues.
I was the only thing she had left in this world to love, so when I left it completely destroyed her, but here's where it gets ugly. I was only moved out for 2 months before her coworker of 2 years started seeing her and got her pregnant. They've always had a bit of a friendship while her and I were together, but I trusted her and thought nothing of it. Now I'm realizing that maybe there was more to this than I realized and it's obviously killing me..

Here we are now 6 months since we broke up and I just found out she's 4 months prego, with his kid and I'm devastated. I never moved on or even dated anybody since then and am now a completely different person than I was when we were together. I found myself and wanted her back so bad, but I don't know what to do now.. I haven't said a word to her since I found out and need answers. How the hell do I go about this? I still love her and can't help but feel so guilty, like it's my fault all of this happened. She knows she's not ready for a baby, but her emotions got the best of her and now she can't take it back. I know this is long, but someone please reply..

What you are upset about is the fact that she moved on so quickly without you. Did you really think she was going to erect a shrine to worship your memory?

April 7, 2017

Let me start by saying I've never joined a chat forum before in all my 27 years of living. This is a true situation that has pushed me farther than I've ever wanted to go. I need help in a big way, but here's the story..

I've dated this girl for 7 years, we've lived together for 6 of them. We've had many ups and downs but we stayed together through it all. She's even caught me talking to other girls (like serious flirty "I love you" talks) in moments that I'm not proud of, but she loved me through it anyway. She's always wanted to get married and start a family, but I always resisted knowing I wasn't ready. We fought a lot and were both too stubborn to seek counseling, so eventually I broke it off. I left because I felt guilty and wanted to give her a chance to move on and find someone that could give her what I couldn't.. well she did just that, but more on that in a second.

I moved out and it hurt her so badly. She's had a grandma and her mother pass away with cancer while we were together. Not to mention her real dad was in and out of prison her whole life.. so needless to say she's got issues.
I was the only thing she had left in this world to love, so when I left it completely destroyed her, but here's where it gets ugly. I was only moved out for 2 months before her coworker of 2 years started seeing her and got her pregnant. They've always had a bit of a friendship while her and I were together, but I trusted her and thought nothing of it. Now I'm realizing that maybe there was more to this than I realized and it's obviously killing me..

Here we are now 6 months since we broke up and I just found out she's 4 months prego, with his kid and I'm devastated. I never moved on or even dated anybody since then and am now a completely different person than I was when we were together. I found myself and wanted her back so bad, but I don't know what to do now.. I haven't said a word to her since I found out and need answers. How the hell do I go about this? I still love her and can't help but feel so guilty, like it's my fault all of this happened. She knows she's not ready for a baby, but her emotions got the best of her and now she can't take it back. I know this is long, but someone please reply..

Well, there is a finality to this that should bring you some peace. 6 months post breakup, and you shouldn't care what she is doing.

Mine tossed crumbs for months afterwards, yours moved on and got pregnant. Honestly, although it seems trite, I am envious of the closure this brings.

In addition, you won't be taking her back to raise another mans child, and you let her go to find someone else.

If it stings, it stings. Let it work its way through.

April 7, 2017

I understand that moving on is the best option and let me say that I also wasn't expecting her to just sit there and wait for me to figure things out either, but only 2 months? I thought our love was stronger than that, but now I wonder, does this mean I was only a means to an end? I thought she was better than that and honestly I still do. Won't she regret this and realize her mistake? She's loved me through my mistakes.. if she comes back to me (I was clearly a better and more responsible man) shouldn't I at least consider that?

April 7, 2017

I never moved on or even dated anybody since then and am now a completely different person than I was when we were together.

I seriously doubt this. Six months and you're completely different? Don't you think maybe it has to do with wanting her just because she's moved on?

April 7, 2017

I understand that moving on is the best option and let me say that I also wasn't expecting her to just sit there and wait for me to figure things out either, but only 2 months? I thought our love was stronger than that, but now I wonder, does this mean I was only a means to an end? I thought she was better than that and honestly I still do. Won't she regret this and realize her mistake? She's loved me through my mistakes.. if she comes back to me (I was clearly a better and more responsible man) shouldn't I at least consider that?

This thinking right here will drive you insane, as you analyze every detail. It will erode your self-confidence.

You let her go, she moved on, got pregnant. Anything else is speculation, and leads to anxiety and depression.

I am also roughly 6 months post-breakup. I don't care what my ex does.

If she comes back to you pregnant, wish her a happy life.

Now I sound like sweet and zahara. Sheesh. This site.

April 7, 2017

I seriously doubt this. Six months and you're completely different? Don't you think maybe it has to do with wanting her just because she's moved on?

I'd be naive to have not considered this, but you're right in a way. In all honesty I can say I really have changed for the better, because the goal always was to come back to her and be a better man. However, I might only have been able to do that by leaving her in the first place, meaning she could very well have been the one holding me back. Having said all that, is there a scenario that we get back together regardless? Or do I really need to let this go?

April 7, 2017

This thinking right here will drive you insane, as you analyze every detail. It will erode your self-confidence.

You let her go, she moved on, got pregnant. Anything else is speculation, and leads to anxiety and depression.

I am also roughly 6 months post-breakup. I don't care what my ex does.

If she comes back to you pregnant, wish her a happy life.

Now I sound like sweet and zahara. Sheesh. This site.

Anxiety and depression might just be my two best friends right now after all this.

It's all true that she made her bed and now has to lay in it (I hate that comparison for obvious reasons), but I can't help but wonder what the alternative scenarios might be? Over analyzing is all I do when the silence sets back in.

April 7, 2017

I understand that moving on is the best option and let me say that I also wasn't expecting her to just sit there and wait for me to figure things out either, but only 2 months? I thought our love was stronger than that, but now I wonder, does this mean I was only a means to an end? I thought she was better than that and honestly I still do. Won't she regret this and realize her mistake? She's loved me through my mistakes.. if she comes back to me (I was clearly a better and more responsible man) shouldn't I at least consider that?

That question is called "projection". You're projecting your own thoughts of making a mistake in dumping her onto her making a mistake in getting pregnant.

I know it's a painful wake-up call to know that she did in fact take your ending the relationship as complete and total closure, but she did. I do feel for ya because you are in the classic "don't know what you got til it's gone" chapter of your book. It's gonna hurt.

In any other situation, I would say let your feelings for her be known, but not in this case. She is pregnant with another mans baby.

As hard as it is, you need to move forward with your life and try not to analyze her anymore. I know it's hard, and it's gonna hurt, but there is no other option for you. Learn from it.

April 7, 2017

There's something about seeing a woman you love and adore,

with a child from a different man, it can drop you to the floor,

But can you really blame her? You left her and she had to move on,

Now you see she's got someone new and it's a reality you have to don.

There's no right or wrong here, it just is what it is,

It's not like she cheated on you, quit reaching and being pissed,

I'm all for a love story, and while I can advise you to chase after what you lost,

It seems her love story began when you left because of the relationship you tossed.

April 7, 2017

That question is called "projection". You're projecting your own thoughts of making a mistake in dumping her onto her making a mistake in getting pregnant.

I know it's a painful wake-up call to know that she did in fact take your ending the relationship as complete and total closure, but she did. I do feel for ya because you are in the classic "don't know what you got til it's gone" chapter of your book. It's gonna hurt.

In any other situation, I would say let your feelings for her be known, but not in this case. She is pregnant with another mans baby.

As hard as it is, you need to move forward with your life and try not to analyze her anymore. I know it's hard, and it's gonna hurt, but there is no other option for you. Learn from it.

That could very well be the case and I guess you're also right in many ways, but let me elaborate just a bit more. She's going to school, working a full time job and was forced to transfer to a further away workplace because it was a coworker of hers that was below her in status that got her prego (a 19 year old kid to be exact), so it's not really a stretch to say this was in fact an ill-advised decision, but I get what you're saying. This is a situation that should easily be walked away from, it just hurts and I can't help but wonder this will all go from here. I know her family is going to flip too when they find out. It was just way too soon. I wanted her to have her best chance at finding what she really wanted in life.. but did she go about it the best way? How can she be proud of that?

April 7, 2017

There's something about seeing a woman you love and adore,
with a child from a different man, it can drop you to the floor,
But can you really blame her? You left her and she had to move on,
Now you see she's got someone new and it's a reality you have to don.

There's no right or wrong here, it just is what it is,
It's not like she cheated on you, quit reaching and being pissed,
I'm all for a love story, and while I can advise you to chase after what you lost,
It seems her love story began when you left because of the relationship you tossed.

Lmao props

April 7, 2017

I think its just a means to an end. I once dated this older woman her biological clock was ticking and it became obvious that's all it wss about for her. Didn't the philosopher Nietzche say it 'mean are just the means it's the child that's the end point for woman" I kinda believe that. In this case it's true who goes out wth someone they haven't built a foundation on and have a child that quickly. I don't believe they'll work the stress and pressure of raising the kid will put pressure on them and they wouldn't of had time to figure one another oUT and how they both deal wth pressure and stress. Just sit back and watch it implode. In the meantime I know it's hard now but forget her and wait for someone more compatible to come along. Wait for the pain of the breakup to subside and u will see a lot more clearer about everything and how u really feel. Give it time and ureself to process and heal and dont go back to her now u dont wanna be raising some other dudes speed trust me from first hand experience don't do it have ur own family ur better off. Someone else's kid for a single guy is hard on many levels u will never ever replace the biological father no matter wat u do. Don't do it trust me don't do it

April 7, 2017

I understand that moving on is the best option and let me say that I also wasn't expecting her to just sit there and wait for me to figure things out either, but only 2 months? I thought our love was stronger than that, but now I wonder, does this mean I was only a means to an end? I thought she was better than that and honestly I still do. Won't she regret this and realize her mistake? She's loved me through my mistakes.. if she comes back to me (I was clearly a better and more responsible man) shouldn't I at least consider that?

It's does seem to indicate that a means to an end. Having said that my take on it she probably felt she wasted 6 yrs waiting and was desperate.

My current ex 6 yrs said all these wonderful things soulmate etc etc she now dating some ugly ****er lol even today at work it's like she Saud something to her work colleague it's like u never existed it's been 6 mths and I must say my care factor for her now is zero I cldnt give a toss about her and even she cam3 back i wouldnt go back. Her true colours hav come out in the end it was all bull**** in the end. I'm actually looking forward now to meeting someone new and hippefully better suited.

April 7, 2017

That could very well be the case and I guess you're also right in many ways, but let me elaborate just a bit more. She's going to school, working a full time job and was forced to transfer to a further away workplace because it was a coworker of hers that was below her in status that got her prego (a 19 year old kid to be exact), so it's not really a stretch to say this was in fact an ill-advised decision, but I get what you're saying. This is a situation that should easily be walked away from, it just hurts and I can't help but wonder this will all go from here. I know her family is going to flip too when they find out. It was just way too soon. I wanted her to have her best chance at finding what she really wanted in life.. but did she go about it the best way? How can she be proud of that?

None of this should be your concern.

Here is what will happen.

You will over analyze this to death. You might reach out, she might reach out, you all will not reconcile.

Either way, you are going to hurt for months. Do you want to hurt for many months, or few?

This thinking will prolong your healing. You are at 6 months, she should be moving to the back of your mind. You should be out dating other people.

With time, NC, and work, she will fade. I know the above to be true, because it happened to me. I still think about mine, but then I think about how she treated me post-breakup. Then I finish thinking about her.

You will meet someone else, and your ex will be a distant memory, even as she raises her baby.

End of story.

Life has a strange way of working out. A marriage to my ex would have been an absolute disaster, I know that now.

April 7, 2017

You're all right in every way. She made her choice and I have to live with the consequences of a simply failed relationship, so I guess I'll have to do just that.

With time all things fade and I know I've made a lot of mistakes and hurt her beyond repair, but if this is the only road then so be it.

But one last question.. am I supposed to just go on without any real closure? I constantly worry about what comes next and to be honest, I'm even more scared if she does reach out to me someday. I can't say I'm strong enough to handle that as of right now. I'm fighting every urge in my being to go to her doorstep, hug her close and tell her congratulations, I'm so happy for her, because I know I'll just break down and tell her I was trying to come back to her and how sorry I am for leaving her alone. Do I stick with NC on this one? Or do I at least try to express my happiness for her?

April 7, 2017

You're all right in every way. She made her choice and I have to live with the consequences of a simply failed relationship, so I guess I'll have to do just that.

With time all things fade and I know I've made a lot of mistakes and hurt her beyond repair, but if this is the only road then so be it.

But one last question.. am I supposed to just go on without any real closure? I constantly worry about what comes next and to be honest, I'm even more scared if she does reach out to me someday. I can't say I'm strong enough to handle that as of right now. I'm fighting every urge in my being to go to her doorstep, hug her close and tell her congratulations, I'm so happy for her, because I know I'll just break down and tell her I was trying to come back to her and how sorry I am for leaving her alone. Do I stick with NC on this one? Or do I at least try to express my happiness for her?

You indeed go no contact. You're not really happy for her, you miss her and being "happy for her" is an excuse to contact her in some way. Don't go there.

Everything you are feeling is normal, and you actually did have closure when you decided to end the relationship. You will in a little time realize that, but honestly hearing that someone you were with for 7 years is pregnant is going to be a bombshell regardless of who dumped who.

You just need to focus on you right now. Even though her decisions after the break-up seem absolutely ridiculous, the truth is, it's not your load to carry.

Just focus on you.

April 7, 2017

But one last question.. am I supposed to just go on without any real closure? I constantly worry about what comes next and to be honest, I'm even more scared if she does reach out to me someday. I can't say I'm strong enough to handle that as of right now. I'm fighting every urge in my being to go to her doorstep, hug her close and tell her congratulations, I'm so happy for her, because I know I'll just break down and tell her I was trying to come back to her and how sorry I am for leaving her alone. Do I stick with NC on this one? Or do I at least try to express my happiness for her?

Closure comes from within. A very wise man said that seeking closure means you will feel the pain of being dumped twice.

If you aren't healed enough, then you need to block her on social media, delete your accounts, and block her number until you are.

Took me 2 months of rock solid nc to feel better, and I still get urges to contact mine, even after the bs she pulled on me. Read my thread as a cautionary tale.

If you are strong enough, wish her well. Don't expect anything in return. She has more important things to be concerned with than an ex boyfriend sniffing around. lol

Unless I am way off base, this relationship is over. And its ok. Heal up, go out even if you don't feel like it, meet people, and distract yourself with new things and new experiences.

April 7, 2017

Well you cheated on her and dumped her. Why do you care? You didn't care enough to not tell other girls "I love you" and you didn't care enough to shape yourself up to be the kind of man she deserves because dumping her was easier.

I hope she's happy with the new guy and he treats her well.

April 7, 2017

I'm in the mindset of chasing what you want.

No matter how stacked the odds are against you, if you love this woman and want her in your life and can give her the life she wants, maybe you should just stfu and go to her doorstep and tell her that. Tell her you were an idiot for letting her go, that you can't imagine telling another woman you love them because of her, and that you want.....no, you NEED her back.

If she's happy with her new man and doesn't want you back, then leave her alone.

However, a lot of women want to be swept off their feet.

So, get to sweeping. If she's not having it, then at least you tried.

Who knows, maybe she misses you just as much as you miss her and you two are too stubborn to tell each other that.

April 7, 2017

You're all right in every way. She made her choice and I have to live with the consequences of a simply failed relationship, so I guess I'll have to do just that.

She didn't make the choice you did. You broke up with her because you weren't ready to give her what she needed. She did the right thing and moved on.

April 7, 2017

I'd be naive to have not considered this, but you're right in a way. In all honesty I can say I really have changed for the better, because the goal always was to come back to her and be a better man. However, I might only have been able to do that by leaving her in the first place, meaning she could very well have been the one holding me back. Having said all that, is there a scenario that we get back together regardless? Or do I really need to let this go?

Your tale keeps getting better by the line.

April 7, 2017

You are nuts if you try to get her back now. Just know that if she comes back, it's because she's stuck financially because of this child. You need to stop even entertaining the idea of reuniting. It would be one big mess and she will always have a relationship of some type with the baby daddy to keep you stirred up.

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Ex GF pregnant by new BF just 2 months after breakup..

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