luxx2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Hey Guy's and Girls, I would like to know your thoughts here please. I have a long history with a woman that i have not seen in a few years, recently she became available. Added me on Facebook and i set a definite date with her. First date in years was fine we had a good time, she contacted me the next day and said she enjoyed seeing me. A few week pass i hear nothing from her, so i initiate contact to see how she is, i ask her i would like to see her again and she say yes how about sometime next week? I made a school boy error and say that i am free friday saturday, stupid mistake on my behalf. Her reply was okay i should check with my friend/roomie because we're supposed to do birthday stuff one day. I leave the ball in her court and get off the phone. A week and a half passes without confirmation, at this point i am starting to think she is going to flake last minute. The first date i set in stone the day and time and on the last day she text saying are we still on for tomorrow? So because i never set the day and time in stone a week and a half for leaving me hanging in my eyes is not acceptable. I am begging to think she is going to flake last minute so I send her a polite text saying Hi there i have not heard from you in a week and a half so i am am going to make plans for the weekend, let's definitely sort something out for another week smiley face. I have had no reply since. What are you thoughts please?
Larryville Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 As soon as you said... Hi there i have not heard from you in a week You sounded thirsty... Particularly being so clear that while she make "like" you, is not that into you... well yes she would flake. Move on... 2
todreaminblue Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Hey Guy's and Girls, I would like to know your thoughts here please. I have a long history with a woman that i have not seen in a few years, recently she became available. Added me on Facebook and i set a definite date with her. First date in years was fine we had a good time, she contacted me the next day and said she enjoyed seeing me. A few week pass i hear nothing from her, so i initiate contact to see how she is, i ask her i would like to see her again and she say yes how about sometime next week? I made a school boy error and say that i am free friday saturday, stupid mistake on my behalf. Her reply was okay i should check with my friend/roomie because we're supposed to do birthday stuff one day. I leave the ball in her court and get off the phone. A week and a half passes without confirmation, at this point i am starting to think she is going to flake last minute. The first date i set in stone the day and time and on the last day she text saying are we still on for tomorrow? So because i never set the day and time in stone a week and a half for leaving me hanging in my eyes is not acceptable. I am begging to think she is going to flake last minute so I send her a polite text saying Hi there i have not heard from you in a week and a half so i am am going to make plans for the weekend, let's definitely sort something out for another week smiley face. I have had no reply since. What are you thoughts please? passive agressive punishing her for not getting back to you......i have not heard from you so ....i am going to make plans fro the weekend.....you should dhave said sorry i made plans.....i didnt hear from you i assumed you were busy ..........even if it was a lie.....playing games is the same thing.... you hadn't made plans she knows this but you chose to brush her off.....she wont contact you again.......if she read your text properly.....and read the passive agressive tone right.....:0))..complete with smiley face...smiling at her telling her no .....because you didnt get back to me soon enough....its actually....if not passive aggressive ...its a childish domination game...poorly worded.....and transparent.........sorry ......deb 2
Erik30 Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Why did you wait weeks to contact her after that first date? Plus she did let you know she had a good time. Maybe because of you not texting or calling she doesn't think you're really interested. Since you haven't heard from her, she probably moved on. Also, there was no date yet for her to flake on, she never agreed to anything. I think that birthday was a lame excuse, it seems like she would've used that to say no anyway. If she has any interest left, she'll contact you... but you should find someone else who is excited to see you 2
todreaminblue Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Why did you wait weeks to contact her after that first date? Plus she did let you know she had a good time. Maybe because of you not texting or calling she doesn't think you're really interested. Since you haven't heard from her, she probably moved on. Also, there was no date yet for her to flake on, she never agreed to anything. I think that birthday was a lame excuse, it seems like she would've used that to say no anyway. If she has any interest left, she'll contact you... but you should find someone else who is excited to see you she contacted him a week and half later the day before and said are we on for tomorrow...he should have made a light hearted joke out fo it adn taken he rout as plannned...teased her about replying last minute but light heartedly and said sure.......we are on and said lookin forward to it...i htought you had gone awol on me.......something light ...and understanding........he had no plans....adn eh todl her so with a smiley face...adn then sadi no i am making plans maybe next week smiley face.........deb
Author luxx2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Author Posted April 6, 2017 Well in all honesty i was wanting to make plans and not be left hanging a week and a half is a bit extreme don't you think? No lying about it... it's the a second chance on her as she has messed me about in the passed which she knows it. I was being sincere and letting her know that i value mine time, why is that being childish?
Author luxx2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Author Posted April 6, 2017 I knew she was busy moving into a new place and did not want to move things to fast! She has just come out of a relation which i am cool with i respect that, i just wanted to take time.
Author luxx2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Author Posted April 6, 2017 I did make light heart jokes and we had a great date!
Ribeiro2245 Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 First date in years was fine we had a good time, she contacted me the next day and said she enjoyed seeing me. Right then and there you should've asked when she was free for another date. You hesitated and let weeks go byZ 2
todreaminblue Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 (edited) Well in all honesty i was wanting to make plans and not be left hanging a week and a half is a bit extreme don't you think? No lying about it... it's the a second chance on her as she has messed me about in the passed which she knows it. I was being sincere and letting her know that i value mine time, why is that being childish? no i dont think a week and a half is bad....a bit disappointing yes.........my daughter my oldest one is 22 she is currently dating.....the guy hadnt messaged her for a while more than two weeks actually...he has a life a job and is training to be a paramedic...very very busy guy.....motivated...he is a nurse......strong work ethic...took her out once already and was a gentleman....active fit ..body builder.....takes care of himself..studies hard.....he contacted her this week....daughter said to me i really like him mum what do i do because i cant go out with him tonight i wont be back in time after taking my daughter to inflatable world....(he has a child himself by the way) i said tell him that apologise and arrange the date for tomorrow night......she did follow my advice.....and he wrote back that sounds great i cant wait.....my daughter had the biggest grin on her face.....there you go.....easy truthful honest communication always......gets things rolling less confusion feel good..... you stuffed up...please listen so next time dont do what you did again.....and you might have dates with really interested girls...maybe she should have apologized for not getting back to you sooner...but you arent her parent to punish her with well you didnt contact me and wag your finger...ground her for the weekend from seeing you..thats where its childish to treat a woman that way.......be understanding that people have lives and sometimes things happen... i will add.....my daughter did date others....she didnt text him back when he didnt contact her for two weeks she went on dates she didnt harbor resentment.....or try to get back at the guy........deb Edited April 7, 2017 by todreaminblue
act00 Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 You seem to expect her to do all the initiating. In the "few weeks" you hadn't hear from her, had you reached out to her at all during that time? After you tentatively planned the second date, of which she stated she wasn't sure on the day yet, why didn't you contact her sometime mid week and ask if she had solidified her birthday plans yet, as you'd like to maybe do X on Y. Instead you waited for her to contact you, last minute? Your lack of interest is showing (in her eyes). Best part? Sorry, hadn't heard from you so I'm GOING to make other plans instead. Interpretation: I don't have plans, but since you didn't write me and now you are, I'm not going to go out with you when I could. Instead I'm going to find something else to do, as you really aren't that important. Whether or not you had plans, a better choice of wording could have been, "I already made other plans." Or even better, "Sure!" You would still look flakey to her, as she expected to see you Friday? Saturday? and you bailed, but the fact she didn't give you anything definite to work on is her own fault. She probably realizes it, but at the same time, you never contacted her, so you really don't seem all that interested. Stop playing games. If you're interested, contact her from time to time. Take some initiative. 2
Author luxx2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Author Posted April 7, 2017 No she was moving housei wanted her to have her own space in that time! She know's i am interested fully... I told you we have a past we have been intimate many times, why would i screw her around? She knows my interest level. And i do have other plans this is exactly why i sent her a message a week and a half later saying i have not heard from you, so i am going to make plans. So what do you suggest i send her a message saying hey i ****ed up and apologies?
todreaminblue Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 No she was moving housei wanted her to have her own space in that time! She know's i am interested fully... I told you we have a past we have been intimate many times, why would i screw her around? She knows my interest level. And i do have other plans this is exactly why i sent her a message a week and a half later saying i have not heard from you, so i am going to make plans. So what do you suggest i send her a message saying hey i ****ed up and apologies? no i suggest you say hey ..would you like to go out i would really like to catch up on such and such day at such and such time is that suitable for you....if she says no ...text again and say what day and time would suit you.......... and dont mention the stuff up.....deb
ChatroomHero Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 So what do you suggest i send her a message saying hey i ****ed up and apologies? Absolutely not.
kendahke Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 No she was moving housei wanted her to have her own space in that time! She know's i am interested fully... I told you we have a past we have been intimate many times, why would i screw her around? She knows my interest level. And i do have other plans this is exactly why i sent her a message a week and a half later saying i have not heard from you, so i am going to make plans. But she hadn't contacted you, so if you'd made plans, it really meant nothing to her. So what do you suggest i send her a message saying hey i ****ed up and apologies? No. Just leave her be. If she's interested, she'll contact you.
Author luxx2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Author Posted April 7, 2017 Too late for that it i kinda felt guilty in the way i acted going from what todreaminblue said. Told her i just wanted to be honest sent her a message apologizing and she replyed right away and said things have been going wrong and that she would like to sort something out soon. Said i will let things blow over and be in touch!
kendahke Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Too late for that it i kinda felt guilty in the way i acted going from what todreaminblue said. Told her i just wanted to be honest sent her a message apologizing and she replyed right away and said things have been going wrong and that she would like to sort something out soon. Said i will let things blow over and be in touch! Doesn't change what I said. The ball is now firmly in her court... don't assume your definition of "soon" is the exact same as hers.
Author luxx2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Author Posted April 7, 2017 Doesn't change what I said. The ball is now firmly in her court... don't assume your definition of "soon" is the exact same as hers. So in other words wait to see if she contacts me first as this will show her interest.?
kendahke Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 So in other words wait to see if she contacts me first as this will show her interest.? Exactly. What she said is really a stalling technique. She could have told you right then and there what was up, but she chose not to.
Author luxx2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Author Posted April 7, 2017 Exactly. What she said is really a stalling technique. She could have told you right then and there what was up, but she chose not to. Yeah I agree with you! She not really explaining or counter offering! Think I'll just move on.
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