Author arsenalfan77 Posted April 6, 2017 Author Posted April 6, 2017 Once again, you're right. I have raised incredible daughters, and they are my priority. It pains me that my oldest has seen me be sad. As far as the honeymoon stage you speak of, that's true also. I'm starting to believe that compatibility far outweighs chemistry as a key fundamental for a LTR. Unfortunately, that awesome chemistry made me turn a blind eye to all the red flags that showed up early on. This woman isn't even a good mother. How could she ever care for me? I feel better for blocking her. I just wish I could stop thinking about her, but like my least favorite platitude says, time heals all wounds. 1
Zahara Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 I feel better for blocking her. I just wish I could stop thinking about her, but like my least favorite platitude says, time heals all wounds. Stay strong. It's going to be painful but this pain through grief is temporary. Staying with her IS indefinite pain. Please do not unblock her. Come here and post. Lean on your friends and family. Focus on yourself and your daughters. A few, few years ago, I finally left a relationship with a diagnosed narcissist. Those hooks can dig deep and stay there for a long time but don't despair as the fog will lift. You just have to keep pushing through for yourself and for your daughters. 1
BC1980 Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 you know what it is, zahara? I'm waiting for her to reach out so that I can ignore her. I want her to feel what I have felt. She told me she would call me when she got back, and I haven't heard anything. I even sent her a message asking her to let me know she made it back safe....nothing. If i block her, she will know that i did it out of anger. she will think i'm being petty. I want her to feel rejection. or maybe I'm fooling myself, because most likely I will let her reel me in again if i don't cut all contact immediately. I truly hate myself right now. You're assuming she will feel a certain way if you don't respond to her. The reality is that she probably won't feel as badly as you have felt. The fact that she goes back and forth between you and her ex proves she isn't really that emotionally attached to you. So it's unlikely she will feel that bad if you ignore her. She will just go back to her ex or find someone else, and you will still feel awful. It's kind of like when I watch those true crime shows. After the perp get found guilty and put in jail, the victim's family says it doesn't help them feel any better. They have been waiting years to watch this person get what they deserve, but they sadly realize it doesn't take away the pain or help them move on. Also, contacting her ex might backfire. Doing that kind of stuff tends to have unintended consequences. Those kind of stunts usually wreak more havoc than they are worth.
Author arsenalfan77 Posted April 6, 2017 Author Posted April 6, 2017 thank you, zahara. I will not unblock her. I'm going to focus on myself and my girls. This forum has really helped me through this. I am eternally grateful for every single one of you. 1
Author arsenalfan77 Posted April 6, 2017 Author Posted April 6, 2017 BC1980, I hear what you're saying. I know it will end bad if i contact him. He's a cop, and not one of the good ones. I've heard many stories about him. He has been through this before with her. She told me he would always go through her phone and accuse her of cheating.....gee, i wonder why? It can get ugly if i contact him. but you know what, it wouldn't even break them up. i would only be temporarily disrupt things. these two sick ****s have been together a long time and will only get back together. They are in a toxic relationship that neither can leave. she feels like nothing without him, and he uses her to control. she is the definition of damaged goods. good riddance, i say.
Pumpingiron34 Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 ill save you the effort. I got so mad my ex came back just to idk relieve guilt and play with my head, i texted her now boyfriend of 8 months and said hey dude do you know your girlfriends been driving by my house trying to contact me. The only thing that came out of this was a bergaid of social media post of how inlove they are. lol what a joke dont waste ur time
Kitchen Posted April 7, 2017 Posted April 7, 2017 Don't do it. I was in a very similar situation, even wrote up a nice email to send the guy, and thankfully never sent it. Check my post history from 2013, I even asked the forum about it. Decided to play the long game and boy am I glad I did. The reason she was so easy to get over was because I knew that her new relationship will suck - her stupidity will catch up to her. And I truly believe it did. She's engaged now but I'm confident she's not happy. Why ruin what's so good? Just sit back and enjoy.
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