Complicated Situation

[lozza89]

Me and this guy started talking back in May 2016, he pursued me and it started really casual chatting about general stuff. Around June time he started to message me more frequently until he finally asked me out for dinner around the middle of June. First date went really well and we started to contact each other everyday and went on further four dates. He never initiated anything sexual until about the sixth time we saw each other where we had gone out for tea and went back to his house. I thought he was such a gentlemen being like this never had someone treat me so well. I let my guard down to him and really started to fall for him.

 

This guy is a professional boxer; his training is very disciplined with strict diets and no sex for least 4 weeks before a fight. Now during the time we started talking he had just had his last fight. While we was dating he had a meeting to say his next fight would be for September 2016. He started to pull away abit and contact gradually tapered off and we saw each other less. The last time I saw him we had discussed between us about where we thought was going on between us and I told him I really liked him and he said he really liked me. He said that he was really busy with training for his fight and running his security business. So we decided to 'see where things go'. One day I did not hear off him at all and it was strange for him after him being so keen. A week passed still nothing so I left him to it during that week. On the Friday I messaged him saying 'I haven't heard off you in a while which is abit different from what we have been doing recently. I know you said you are busy and we agreed to see where things go. I am just checking in to see if this is still the case?' He replied back to me saying 'sorry I have had to really throw myself into my training at the moment'. I replied to him that I was abit disappointed because he could have just explained this and I would have left him to get on with his training.

 

So at this point I thought it was over, I was so gutted because I really could see myself being with this guy. I wasn't going to bother chasing him because he had made it clear that his boxing training took priority at the moment. After two weeks of silence he messaged me out of the blue asking if I was okay and ending up lasting all night the conversation. He then contacted me couple of days later as well where again we chatted the same general stuff. September came and on his birthday I sent him a message to wish him happy birthday and we again chatted for little time. When it was his fight I sent him a message to wish him 'Good Luck' which he replied to the day after. We had set up going out for dinner but because of work commitments he had to cancel. We then started talking casually again and ended up meeting up between early October till November. During this time I would go and hang out at his and end up having sex.

 

Throughout this whole time we had remained friends on Facebook, Snapchat and followed each other on Instagram. I had started to have suspicions that he was seeing other girls which is acceptable because we only dating. But if this was his intention he should have expressed this in the beginning. In another conversation I had told him I didn't want to become a friend with benefits and just see how things naturally progress between us. Only because I have been single for three years and was scared about being pinned down into something to full on from the beginning. I am a busy girl like he is a busy guy but I would always make time. He had another fight looming in December which I was supposed to attend to support him.

 

However, a girl I work with told me that this guy had messaged her and I was pretty pissed about it considering he wanted to see where things go. This was on the same night I had asked him if he was seeing other girls and all I got back was I am not seeing anyone at the minute. I then asked does this include me then? Where he replied an hour later saying 'I really don't have the time at the minute'. I just waited a yes or no answer from him no in between confusing ****... He still wouldn't give me a simple yes or no and just kept saying I am so busy at the moment.... I then write this him 'Why did you ever pursue anything me and then decide oh **** am too busy for this. That to me felt like I have been strung along which tbh isn't a nice feeling. It would have been alot easier for me if you had said I ain't interested in anything with you. I could have made my own decision up about it and handle it'. He never replied...

 

About a week later he messaged me asking how I was as usual and I replied in a pretty cold manner 'what do you want' at this point I was trying to stay away and forget about him. I got no reply... A couple of days later he snap chatted me saying he was bored. I replied to him saying 'why dont you invite Ellie round then if your so bored then' Ellie is the girl from work. He sent a reply saying 'no thanks am okay' and then blocked me on every form of social media. His response said everything to me that he was guilty and angry at me for calling him out. I then thought that it was well and truly over between us for good. Until...

 

He started coming in the pub at a weekend more frequently for no apparent reason. Now if you know what he is like he hates the place and cannot stand being there but his security lads do the doors for him. He would walk in as if he was looking for someone and glance over to see if I was working or having a drink with my friends. This went on for about two months every weekend until he went on holiday in Feb 2017. During this time I totally ignored him and went no contact. After he finished his hols he had unblocked me on everything and re added me back on snap chat. He started to Snapchat me everyday something random but mostly private to myself instead of being on his Snapchat story. He then started to message me on it and I responded in a nice way. He then asked to meet up for a brew ...

 

I decided to go and see what he had to say... It was as if nothing had ever happened. We could always pick up where we left off from and I ended up doing sexual with him but not going the full way. He has another fight in two weeks and obviously he was in his training period before it. We have had contact most days and seen one another abit in the pass three weeks.

 

I decided never to mention the blocking thing or question why he text someone I worked with. At the moment we haven't discussed anything in terms of where we are at because I find if I mention it he pulls back straight away. This guy hasn't got much experience in serious relationships and his last one by the sound of it hurt him abit which was over a year before he met me. So my question is ... What are we? Do I take this as it is and see if he makes the move, try not to be emotionally involved too much and play it casual.

 

Because of his recent behaviour turning up at the pub makes me think he is truly interested in me but because of his lack of experience and inability to open up and talk about his feelings makes the situation a lot harder. I want to be with him, and had trouble getting him out of my head. I wake up in the morning and last thing at night I think about him. I still to this day after everything get butterflies when I see him and we have great chemistry.

 

Please help

[Simple Logic]

He basically had a fling with you. You are fooling yourself with this one.

[hippychick3]

Me and this guy started talking back in May 2016, he pursued me and it started really casual chatting about general stuff. Around June time he started to message me more frequently until he finally asked me out for dinner around the middle of June. First date went really well and we started to contact each other everyday and went on further four dates. He never initiated anything sexual until about the sixth time we saw each other where we had gone out for tea and went back to his house. I thought he was such a gentlemen being like this never had someone treat me so well. I let my guard down to him and really started to fall for him.

 

This guy is a professional boxer; his training is very disciplined with strict diets and no sex for least 4 weeks before a fight. Now during the time we started talking he had just had his last fight. While we was dating he had a meeting to say his next fight would be for September 2016. He started to pull away abit and contact gradually tapered off and we saw each other less. The last time I saw him we had discussed between us about where we thought was going on between us and I told him I really liked him and he said he really liked me. He said that he was really busy with training for his fight and running his security business. So we decided to 'see where things go'. One day I did not hear off him at all and it was strange for him after him being so keen. A week passed still nothing so I left him to it during that week. On the Friday I messaged him saying 'I haven't heard off you in a while which is abit different from what we have been doing recently. I know you said you are busy and we agreed to see where things go. I am just checking in to see if this is still the case?' He replied back to me saying 'sorry I have had to really throw myself into my training at the moment'. I replied to him that I was abit disappointed because he could have just explained this and I would have left him to get on with his training.

 

So at this point I thought it was over, I was so gutted because I really could see myself being with this guy. I wasn't going to bother chasing him because he had made it clear that his boxing training took priority at the moment. After two weeks of silence he messaged me out of the blue asking if I was okay and ending up lasting all night the conversation. He then contacted me couple of days later as well where again we chatted the same general stuff. September came and on his birthday I sent him a message to wish him happy birthday and we again chatted for little time. When it was his fight I sent him a message to wish him 'Good Luck' which he replied to the day after. We had set up going out for dinner but because of work commitments he had to cancel. We then started talking casually again and ended up meeting up between early October till November. During this time I would go and hang out at his and end up having sex.

 

Throughout this whole time we had remained friends on Facebook, Snapchat and followed each other on Instagram. I had started to have suspicions that he was seeing other girls which is acceptable because we only dating. But if this was his intention he should have expressed this in the beginning. In another conversation I had told him I didn't want to become a friend with benefits and just see how things naturally progress between us. Only because I have been single for three years and was scared about being pinned down into something to full on from the beginning. I am a busy girl like he is a busy guy but I would always make time. He had another fight looming in December which I was supposed to attend to support him.

 

However, a girl I work with told me that this guy had messaged her and I was pretty pissed about it considering he wanted to see where things go. This was on the same night I had asked him if he was seeing other girls and all I got back was I am not seeing anyone at the minute. I then asked does this include me then? Where he replied an hour later saying 'I really don't have the time at the minute'. I just waited a yes or no answer from him no in between confusing ****... He still wouldn't give me a simple yes or no and just kept saying I am so busy at the moment.... I then write this him 'Why did you ever pursue anything me and then decide oh **** am too busy for this. That to me felt like I have been strung along which tbh isn't a nice feeling. It would have been alot easier for me if you had said I ain't interested in anything with you. I could have made my own decision up about it and handle it'. He never replied...

 

About a week later he messaged me asking how I was as usual and I replied in a pretty cold manner 'what do you want' at this point I was trying to stay away and forget about him. I got no reply... A couple of days later he snap chatted me saying he was bored. I replied to him saying 'why dont you invite Ellie round then if your so bored then' Ellie is the girl from work. He sent a reply saying 'no thanks am okay' and then blocked me on every form of social media. His response said everything to me that he was guilty and angry at me for calling him out. I then thought that it was well and truly over between us for good. Until...

 

He started coming in the pub at a weekend more frequently for no apparent reason. Now if you know what he is like he hates the place and cannot stand being there but his security lads do the doors for him. He would walk in as if he was looking for someone and glance over to see if I was working or having a drink with my friends. This went on for about two months every weekend until he went on holiday in Feb 2017. During this time I totally ignored him and went no contact. After he finished his hols he had unblocked me on everything and re added me back on snap chat. He started to Snapchat me everyday something random but mostly private to myself instead of being on his Snapchat story. He then started to message me on it and I responded in a nice way. He then asked to meet up for a brew ...

 

I decided to go and see what he had to say... It was as if nothing had ever happened. We could always pick up where we left off from and I ended up doing sexual with him but not going the full way. He has another fight in two weeks and obviously he was in his training period before it. We have had contact most days and seen one another abit in the pass three weeks.

 

I decided never to mention the blocking thing or question why he text someone I worked with. At the moment we haven't discussed anything in terms of where we are at because I find if I mention it he pulls back straight away. This guy hasn't got much experience in serious relationships and his last one by the sound of it hurt him abit which was over a year before he met me. So my question is ... What are we? Do I take this as it is and see if he makes the move, try not to be emotionally involved too much and play it casual.

 

Because of his recent behaviour turning up at the pub makes me think he is truly interested in me but because of his lack of experience and inability to open up and talk about his feelings makes the situation a lot harder. I want to be with him, and had trouble getting him out of my head. I wake up in the morning and last thing at night I think about him. I still to this day after everything get butterflies when I see him and we have great chemistry.

 

Please help

 

This was the time you should have moved on and NEVER looked back. He had already lost interest and had gone lukewarm. There was no chance after that that he would become serious and want a relationship with you. Any contact after that would have been out of boredom or wanting sex.

 

A man who is truly interested and wanting to be with you would never let you go in the first place. Please keep your dignity and block him and move on for good.

[act00]

Really, it's probably best you let this one go. If you do decide to stick around, just to see, understand you will end up hurt again. Sure, the possibility is there that this time will be different, but the odds are not good. Yes, I have done this on again/off again, and fell back into it every time. This situation can go on indefinitely until you make the move to sever ties completely.

[Titanll]

No sex for four weeks! Hell, I could box Tyson after four weeks of no sex!