elpatron Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Hello LS, hope all are well. I have a question and hope to just confirm my own suspicion. I met a girl at a restaurant my friend works at. This new girl and I have chatted for several hours over the past few weeks after her shift is over, but we have not gone out outside of that. I've gotten her number, I've asked her to go out with me on two separate occasions. She's about 28, around my age. Last weekend she wasn't available and she suggested the following Saturday. I said sure, and she responded with an I'll let you know to confirm '. Now the day before we are to meet I get a message from her, not to confirm, but stating she is returning her phone because she was ripped off, and that she will not have a phone for a few days. This turns out to be true, she sent me the message as the phone was being shut off, but now I have no way of contacting her without visiting her at her workplace which I am not too crazy about doing. In all honesty I don't want to give up so easily, but I almost would have rather had her ignore/forget the plans, as it would have been more clear to me. Then I would have left it alone while still obviously seeing her and being friendly every now and then at the restaurant. Bottom line, is it a lost cause if I make any more effort with this one?
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Settle down!! To be desirable is to be less available. She will contact you when she gets her new phone.
coolheadal Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 You need to go to her work and find out when she gets off work. Then you return to her work 30 mins before closing. You wait for her outside or you let her know your outside in your car etc waiting for her to get off work. This is the correct way to proceed. Ask what you need to know when you get to talk to her to make sure everything is all cleared-up and out in the open for you to go and relax and then scream. Always good to have a good scream to get it out of your system. Your so worked up about this you need to release your fears and worry!
Knix Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 First, don't go to her workplace. Give her a chance to contact you. A lot of times women are being on and off because they are trying not to hurt your feelings but also don't want to pursue anything. That may not be the case, but you'll know if she doesn't make the effort to reach out like she said. I know in romantic movies it's always cute if a guy is so determined he shows up at her workplace or the classic airport scene, but in reality showing up to someone's job makes them feel trapped and can seem creepy. 6
Author elpatron Posted April 5, 2017 Author Posted April 5, 2017 Thanks all, I can only think of Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia in this situation lol.....I thought it was wayyyy too weird to be visiting, thanks all for the confirmation though 1
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 (edited) Ya don't show up at someone's workplace when not invited. Hell my husband always gives me the heads up to make sure it's OK to drop by my work. Best of luck BTW Edited April 5, 2017 by smackie9
coolheadal Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Ya don't show up at someone's workplace when not invited. Hell my husband always gives me the heads up to make sure it's OK to drop by my work. Best of luck BTW Well in this case he should go because if he doesn't he'll go crazy in the mind. This is his choice really. You and I have our options on this one.. Good to see we have some values of reason.
TheAntiHero Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I think going to someone's workplace without prior notice is ****ing weird behavior. If she doesn't know you're coming, more than likely, you're surprising her and not in a good way. The ball is in her court; if she's not really doing a good job of reciprocating, then you'll have your answer.
OatsAndHall Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I wouldn't be comfortable with someone showing up to my workplace unannounced. Your best bet is to let her contact you when she gets her phone situation figured out. Put yourself in her shoes. She's probably struggling financially (no phone..) which will make anyone anxious, she'll be finishing up a shift at work which will have her either exhausted, stressed out or both and then some guy that she just met will show up unannounced.. That isn't a recipe for success, my friend.
Simple Logic Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Show up uninvited to her work place if you want her to think you are a stalker.
coolheadal Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Wow! I guess no one here has done that. I have shown up and had a friend who couldn't do that so I acted like a was a Flower Delivery guy. I said this was from so and so she smiled. So it can work, but only if the OP is willing to do that. If he really wanted to talk to this girl she doesn't have a cell phone. This is just option.
TheBathWater Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 Hello LS, hope all are well. I have a question and hope to just confirm my own suspicion. I met a girl at a restaurant my friend works at. This new girl and I have chatted for several hours over the past few weeks after her shift is over, but we have not gone out outside of that. I've gotten her number, I've asked her to go out with me on two separate occasions. She's about 28, around my age. Last weekend she wasn't available and she suggested the following Saturday. I said sure, and she responded with an I'll let you know to confirm '. Now the day before we are to meet I get a message from her, not to confirm, but stating she is returning her phone because she was ripped off, and that she will not have a phone for a few days. This turns out to be true, she sent me the message as the phone was being shut off, but now I have no way of contacting her without visiting her at her workplace which I am not too crazy about doing. In all honesty I don't want to give up so easily, but I almost would have rather had her ignore/forget the plans, as it would have been more clear to me. Then I would have left it alone while still obviously seeing her and being friendly every now and then at the restaurant. Bottom line, is it a lost cause if I make any more effort with this one? If the roles were reversed, would you get in touch if you were interested in her? If the answer is yes, why do you need to go to her then to confirm her interest? I vote with a big fat "don't do it."
Knix Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Wow! I guess no one here has done that. I have shown up and had a friend who couldn't do that so I acted like a was a Flower Delivery guy. I said this was from so and so she smiled. So it can work, but only if the OP is willing to do that. If he really wanted to talk to this girl she doesn't have a cell phone. This is just option. Maybe it was cute because she liked you. But this guy is on the fence as to whether or not she has feelings for him. If my long distance boyfriend showed up at my job with flowers, it would be great! But if it was a guy I was just trying to politely drop, my attitude towards the situation would be VERY different and I would be creeped out. People need their space. If you can't respect that, you don't belong in a relationship.
coolheadal Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Maybe it was cute because she liked you. But this guy is on the fence as to whether or not she has feelings for him. If my long distance boyfriend showed up at my job with flowers, it would be great! But if it was a guy I was just trying to politely drop, my attitude towards the situation would be VERY different and I would be creeped out. People need their space. If you can't respect that, you don't belong in a relationship. Yes most of what true, but it depends on OP situation. Everyone's outcome will be different. Once I had visited a girl job with flowers cost me like $75. She kept saying what your doing here. Another girl was happy, so was the friends wife who I brought her flower on his behave. I guess it depends on woman and how she feels about you going to her job?
Knix Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 Yes most of what true, but it depends on OP situation. Everyone's outcome will be different. Once I had visited a girl job with flowers cost me like $75. She kept saying what your doing here. Another girl was happy, so was the friends wife who I brought her flower on his behave. I guess it depends on woman and how she feels about you going to her job? Maybe you should try a new approach to romance. Showing up to women's jobs with expensive flowers shows a lack of boundaries. People shouldn't feel like they have to worry about partners showing up at their job unannounced.
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