heartbrokened Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I've dated my girlfriend for about 8 years now and we just broke up last years. We were what people would call not high school sweethearts but junior high school sweethearts. We've both been dating ever since the 8th grade going to the same junior high school, high school, and college. We've both have had many ups an down, but we were always able to work it out with each other at the end of the day. I'll be honest on this post, I was what you would call a jackass and if I were to be a girl dating me, even I would break up with me. Ever since high school all the way till we broke up, I was not the boyfriend I was suppose to be. Many times when she go out, I would't let her go out, but when I am the one going out and she don't let me, I still go and don't care. She would call me and I would get mad at her for calling me so much and bugging me. She always tell me to go over to her house and spend the night with her all the time, but I always tell her no because I am busy and have responsibilities at home. I actually did have a lot of responsibilities at home and couldn't always go to her house to spend time with her because I had 3 dogs who I put in the kennel a lot because they were never spayed or neuter so I always have to let them out to pee. Therefore, I had to stay home a lot especially at night and in the morning. However, it was not like I didn't want to spend time with her. I would rather stay with her than be anywhere. I was stress and care free when I'm around her. I could always be myself around her. My girlfriend loved me dearly with all her heart, and I've always treated her like nothing. There use to be this one bar where she went on certain nights and she would tell me to come there after work, which I always do because of all the guys who are there and I didn't want her to be with them. She would drink with them and do hookah there. I didn't want her to do hookah because it had nicotine and i never wanted her to do those kind of stuff and I would pinch her and the next she would have bruises on her arms and thighs. I don't pinch her hard but she is sensitive so it hurts her and gets bruised easily. She told me to stop pinching her, but time after time I still do. Couple years later I stopped pinching her. I use to spend a lot of times playing games on my laptop, so whenever she calls me, I would tell her to stop bothering me because I'm busy. Whenever she goes out somewhere and tell me to tag along with her, I always say no because I have no money or that I a busy. If I were to tell the whole story of me and my girlfriend, it would be too long for anyone to read, so to make a long story short, I did all these horrible stuff to her for all these 8 years making her cry, alone. She finally had found the strength and courage to let me go and let go of everything we had. Even after when she left me, I still tried and tried to get her back. I would always go over to her house and hang out with her and bring her food. Whenever I can, I buy her clothes and bring food to her at work. And I forgot to mention, the place that she worked was the place that I once worked. I was the one who pulled her in. When we broke up, there was this guys at her workplace there who she had been talking to for some time even when we were together. But she wasn't talking to him as trying to get at him but as a coworker only. So when we broke up, he was the one to comfort her and everything and I guess she kind of leaned toward him. She started going out to drink with him and eat with him . They would drink together in the car and it pains me to even know all this because I don't know what they did. I mean a girl who is hurt who is with a guy and they are both drinking. What else am I suppose to think they did. I don't think they are dating but I know that she is talking and texting him everyday. This one time when she broke her phone, she told me to help her take it to the store and get it fix, so she gave me her phone and password. She trusted me that I wouldn't look through her message, but I still did anyway because I had to know. Painfully reading her message with him it broke my heart. Their message would contain messages that say they miss each other and and babyboo and all that. Although I was pretty sure they weren't dating. I think this is because she still lets me come over to hang out with her sleep with her at night. Of course we don't have sex because i know she wouldn't let me. But at times I would hug her to sleep and touch her from time to time and she would let me. I don't know if she still misses me or not. To add on, the guy she is talking to had a girlfriend but his girlfriend found that he was talking to my ex so she broke up with him. My ex already knew he had a gf and he knew his gf too, but I don't know why she did that because I know she is not the type of person to do it that. She just isn't. I still see my ex and still hang out with her, and when I do, we would watch eat, watch a movie, and then she would fall asleep and let me hold her in my arms. She would also always tell me to do stuff for her, get stuff for her, and tell me to do her hw. I've asked her back more than 5 times, got on my knees for 2 times, and cried in front of her all those times. It pains me so much that she rejected all those times and would always text and talk on the phone with him in front of me all the time. I don't know if she wants me back or not. She tells me that she don't want me back and have no feelings me anymore, and that once she don't have feelings for someone, then she won't ever have feelings for them. But then why does she keep on telling me to do stuff for her and letting me sleep and hang out with her and still lets me pay for her phone. I am so lost and so pained. I've already tried to get her back for one year now. This monday, I am going to give it another try and it may be the last time. I don't want to let her go. If anyone hads advice please help me. I don't understand her anymore.
mikeylo Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I've dated my girlfriend for about 8 years now and we just broke up last years. We were what people would call not high school sweethearts but junior high school sweethearts. We've both been dating ever since the 8th grade going to the same junior high school, high school, and college. We've both have had many ups an down, but we were always able to work it out with each other at the end of the day. I'll be honest on this post, I was what you would call a jackass and if I were to be a girl dating me, even I would break up with me. Ever since high school all the way till we broke up, I was not the boyfriend I was suppose to be. Many times when she go out, I would't let her go out, but when I am the one going out and she don't let me, I still go and don't care. She would call me and I would get mad at her for calling me so much and bugging me. She always tell me to go over to her house and spend the night with her all the time, but I always tell her no because I am busy and have responsibilities at home. I actually did have a lot of responsibilities at home and couldn't always go to her house to spend time with her because I had 3 dogs who I put in the kennel a lot because they were never spayed or neuter so I always have to let them out to pee. Therefore, I had to stay home a lot especially at night and in the morning. However, it was not like I didn't want to spend time with her. I would rather stay with her than be anywhere. I was stress and care free when I'm around her. I could always be myself around her. My girlfriend loved me dearly with all her heart, and I've always treated her like nothing. There use to be this one bar where she went on certain nights and she would tell me to come there after work, which I always do because of all the guys who are there and I didn't want her to be with them. She would drink with them and do hookah there. I didn't want her to do hookah because it had nicotine and i never wanted her to do those kind of stuff and I would pinch her and the next she would have bruises on her arms and thighs. I don't pinch her hard but she is sensitive so it hurts her and gets bruised easily. She told me to stop pinching her, but time after time I still do. Couple years later I stopped pinching her. I use to spend a lot of times playing games on my laptop, so whenever she calls me, I would tell her to stop bothering me because I'm busy. Whenever she goes out somewhere and tell me to tag along with her, I always say no because I have no money or that I a busy. If I were to tell the whole story of me and my girlfriend, it would be too long for anyone to read, so to make a long story short, I did all these horrible stuff to her for all these 8 years making her cry, alone. She finally had found the strength and courage to let me go and let go of everything we had. Even after when she left me, I still tried and tried to get her back. I would always go over to her house and hang out with her and bring her food. Whenever I can, I buy her clothes and bring food to her at work. And I forgot to mention, the place that she worked was the place that I once worked. I was the one who pulled her in. When we broke up, there was this guys at her workplace there who she had been talking to for some time even when we were together. But she wasn't talking to him as trying to get at him but as a coworker only. So when we broke up, he was the one to comfort her and everything and I guess she kind of leaned toward him. She started going out to drink with him and eat with him . They would drink together in the car and it pains me to even know all this because I don't know what they did. I mean a girl who is hurt who is with a guy and they are both drinking. What else am I suppose to think they did. I don't think they are dating but I know that she is talking and texting him everyday. This one time when she broke her phone, she told me to help her take it to the store and get it fix, so she gave me her phone and password. She trusted me that I wouldn't look through her message, but I still did anyway because I had to know. Painfully reading her message with him it broke my heart. Their message would contain messages that say they miss each other and and babyboo and all that. Although I was pretty sure they weren't dating. I think this is because she still lets me come over to hang out with her sleep with her at night. Of course we don't have sex because i know she wouldn't let me. But at times I would hug her to sleep and touch her from time to time and she would let me. I don't know if she still misses me or not. To add on, the guy she is talking to had a girlfriend but his girlfriend found that he was talking to my ex so she broke up with him. My ex already knew he had a gf and he knew his gf too, but I don't know why she did that because I know she is not the type of person to do it that. She just isn't. I still see my ex and still hang out with her, and when I do, we would watch eat, watch a movie, and then she would fall asleep and let me hold her in my arms. She would also always tell me to do stuff for her, get stuff for her, and tell me to do her hw. I've asked her back more than 5 times, got on my knees for 2 times, and cried in front of her all those times. It pains me so much that she rejected all those times and would always text and talk on the phone with him in front of me all the time. I don't know if she wants me back or not. She tells me that she don't want me back and have no feelings me anymore, and that once she don't have feelings for someone, then she won't ever have feelings for them. But then why does she keep on telling me to do stuff for her and letting me sleep and hang out with her and still lets me pay for her phone. I am so lost and so pained. I've already tried to get her back for one year now. This monday, I am going to give it another try and it may be the last time. I don't want to let her go. If anyone hads advice please help me. I don't understand her anymore. That is your answer to everything. Other things that she lets you do is hoping you will get the hint and leave her alone. You have to have someone to let them go. You don't have her and most importantly, she DOESNT want to be with you. Leave her alone. Feelings change.Hers have changed. Move on before she gets a restraining order against you.
mikeylo Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 To add more , you actually abused her. Abuse comes in many different ways. I would strongly advice you to stay away from her and consider whenever you met her last as your last try. Do NOT try again.You are coming off as an ex stalker who won't take no for an answer.
preraph Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 You should leave her alone. You were abusive to her and you need to go get help for that. You may have grown up with abusive parents or something. I don't know, but no woman is going to keep you until you fix yourself to stop being abusive.
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Very few relationships survive from childhood to adulthood. You two were together a long time, way longer than you probably should have been. Trying to stay together now simply because you have dated since junior high school is nostalgic not realistic. This relationship has been bad for a while. You said it yourself -- you were a bad BF. Both of you have had one foot out the door for a while -- her to another guy & you through indifference. You both need a change. Let her & this go.
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