Ex-boyfriend calls after 1 month of NC

[chebell]

Me (22) and my ex (23) were together for 1,5 years. We actually broke up 2 months ago because he said that his feelings weren't as strong for me as mine were to him. I was really desperate and needy during this break up and he couldn't see me hurting, so we met like 1 time a week for a month, he still held my hand every time and hugged me. I know it was wrong.

 

Anyway, one month later, on the same day as he was leaving to Asia for 4 weeks with his (male) best friend, he came to my house and he said that we really have to break up and I have to learn to be by myself. As I was so in love with him still, I seemed very needy and asked him questions like "aren't we ever gonna see each other again?" etc and I knew he didn't want to hurt me with his words so he said that we will see each other when he comes back. He didn't speak to me during these 4 weeks at all. It was so hard for me but I didn't contact him too. I truly tried to work on myself and tried to get over him, but deep down I still hoped he would text me, say he's sorry and that he wants me back and that we would get back together. I knew that when he comes back, he would contact me because I was so desperate the last time we met and he probably thought I'll be waiting him back. Which I did, but I know it's wrong and I want him to truly miss me. I know it's mean to say that, but I want him to suffer as much as I did. I know that if I would have gone to a trip with my best friend just after break up, it would have been much easier for me to get over him, too.

 

Now, he came back and after 31 days of NC he called me, but I didn't answer. He also texted me about how I've been doing, but I didn't reply to that too. I want to see him so bad!! But I also want him to feel the pain that I did. I know he hasn't had time to miss me because he was in Bali and had wonderful time all these 4 weeks while I was struggling so much. It also hurts me that he didn't text me at all during these weeks. It means that he didn't miss me at all and he didn't want to know how I was doing. I'm graduating uni in 2 months and he didn't care at all how my exams went..

 

I want to tell him that I've moved on, but I just can't fake it. What if he wants to get back together? What if he regrets his decision and I'm not there to reply to him? What should I do?

Edited April 5, 2017 by chebell

[EmilyJane]

At this point he's not even questioning that you miss him and want him back.

 

No contact is meant to help you REALLY move on. Not to get your ex back.

 

He's not going to start even thinking what he's lost until you've been the one to be out of contact having a good time.

 

Plus you realise he totally broke up with you so he could hookup in Bali right?

 

Want better for yourself please

[Simple Logic]

Me (22) and my ex (23) were together for 1,5 years. We actually broke up 2 months ago because he said that his feelings weren't as strong for me as mine were to him. I was really desperate and needy during this break up and he couldn't see me hurting, so we met like 1 time a week for a month, he still held my hand every time and hugged me. I know it was wrong.

 

Anyway, one month later, on the same day as he was leaving to Asia for 4 weeks with his (male) best friend, he came to my house and he said that we really have to break up and I have to learn to be by myself. As I was so in love with him still, I seemed very needy and asked him questions like "aren't we ever gonna see each other again?" etc and I knew he didn't want to hurt me with his words so he said that we will see each other when he comes back. He didn't speak to me during these 4 weeks at all. It was so hard for me but I didn't contact him too. I truly tried to work on myself and tried to get over him, but deep down I still hoped he would text me, say he's sorry and that he wants me back and that we would get back together. I knew that when he comes back, he would contact me because I was so desperate the last time we met and he probably thought I'll be waiting him back. Which I did, but I know it's wrong and I want him to truly miss me. I know it's mean to say that, but I want him to suffer as much as I did. I know that if I would have gone to a trip with my best friend just after break up, it would have been much easier for me to get over him, too.

 

Now, he came back and after 31 days of NC he called me, but I didn't answer. He also texted me about how I've been doing, but I didn't reply to that too. I want to see him so bad!! But I also want him to feel the pain that I did. I know he hasn't had time to miss me because he was in Bali and had wonderful time all these 4 weeks while I was struggling so much. It also hurts me that he didn't text me at all during these weeks. It means that he didn't miss me at all and he didn't want to know how I was doing. I'm graduating uni in 2 months and he didn't care at all how my exams went..

 

I want to tell him that I've moved on, but I just can't fake it. What if he wants to get back together? What if he regrets his decision and I'm not there to reply to him? What should I do?

 

What if you don't answer him until he tries to call you on the phone, not texts, at least 2 more times. Or actually meets you unannounced in person. If he can't do that, he is not really interested. He knows you are the damaged party. Make him show some effort.

[jamili]

30 days is just the beginning. Keep NC. He probably wont eveb begin to miss you, if he does at all, for many many more months.

[Telemachus]

If you want to be in contact with him, respond to his text. If you don't want to be in contact, don't respond. No ond here can tell you what you want. You posted that you wanted to be over him. If that's still the case, then ignore his attempts to contact you.

 

Honestly, it's a simple yes/no choice to make today and each subsequent time he reaches out to you.