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Why ex bf contacted me after 1 3/4 months?

smm

By smm
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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smm New Member

smm

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Seven year long on off relationship, he is currently ignoring me, I'm a female, he contacted me after ignoring me for a 1 3/4 months, and he asked me whats up to which I responded, asked him whats up with him didn't get a reply 12 hours later so I got mad, he is now ignoring me nine days and counting, help me what should I do, why did he need to talk after brutally breaking up with me?

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mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

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Because he's weak. He got stronger when he saw that you are weak too.

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Kitchen Established Member

Kitchen

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Why did he contact you? He feels insecure not knowing what you're doing, where you're at. When you responded, he felt assurance that you are also insecure, sad, or both. That gave him the fuel to go on for some more.

 

Next time don't bail him out when he contacts you. Let him starve without your attention. Let him suffer and feel the pain. This will accomplish 2 things: 1) It will make you feel better, 2) It might make him try to win you back.

 

I don't know whether you want to be with him again or not, but if you do, you need to let him move mountains to be with you, otherwise it won't work. But even if you don't want to be with him, let him suffer and miss you and move mountains anyway. It'll help you forget about him quicker.

 

It's a war now, you're not friends and he is dirt to you. He's your enemy. Let that be your drive to make yourself 1000% better and make him regret leaving you with every ounce of his body. Do this and you'll end up finding someone better anyway. It's a win win.

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smm New Member

smm

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I don't even know if I want him back, I just can't stop thinking about him and I felt excited when he contacted me just to be played and hurt again

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jamili Established Member

jamili

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These are what we call "breadcrumbs". Its extremely common. What transpired is pretty much textbook.

 

Judging by his actions, seems like he was fishing for some kind of validation or ego boost.

 

Stay NC from now on

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whatnot Established Member

whatnot

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I don't even know if I want him back, I just can't stop thinking about him and I felt excited when he contacted me just to be played and hurt again
You could use a more reliable source of excitement. Not being able to stop thinking about him is understandable. 7 years is a long time. He is a part of you. It would be strange indeed if when apart you didn't think of him. and feel his absence.

 

He's more interested in getting his own needs met than in seeing if your needs are being met.

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jorgeg3d Established Member

jorgeg3d

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If you've had an on/off again relationship, it'll keep going until you make it stop. If after 7 years you still haven't gotten your "sh%t" together then obviously its time to move on. Learn to be alone for awhile, start doing things to better yourself and better your life. Get out more, hangout with friends etc. Just don't go back to your toxic cycle.

 

I know because I had an off/on again relationship with my ex wife, lasted 17 full years, 9 married. I stopped the cycle.

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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Seven year long on off relationship, he is currently ignoring me, I'm a female, he contacted me after ignoring me for a 1 3/4 months, and he asked me whats up to which I responded, asked him whats up with him didn't get a reply 12 hours later so I got mad, he is now ignoring me nine days and counting, help me what should I do, why did he need to talk after brutally breaking up with me?

 

SEVEN years on and off???

 

why did he need to talk after brutally breaking up with me? -- Why did you respond???? It will remain on and off as long you keep entertaining it. In these cases, it's not usually the relationship the couple enjoys, it's the drama of it.

 

help me what should I do -- Grow a set, get focused on YOU and your life and a single, independent, secure woman in your own right and stop opening the door. This has been a "doormat" relationship. Take control of the situation and go no contact PERIOD and stop being one of the doormats.

 

I'd be a little less harsh if you hadn't been doing this for SEVEN years . . .

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smm New Member

smm

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i cant stop puking and crying sorry for the details please help me we argued with the ex bf yesterday and he blocked me again i feel really sick i think its over he was really negative, im a female

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