enchanted771 Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 I have a situation and I don't know if I'm being possessive/needy or if me and my live-in boyfriend need to really have a talk. He has his buddy who conducts business out of his place of employment. Actuality it's his bosses friend, but they hit it off. He has done side jobs with him to make extra money, etc. I can be a bit persistent if he comes home late...I will call him multiple times to see where he is and he gets annoyed. On average it's no more than an hour late, but if he helps him with a job, Can be 2-2 1/2 hours later. We have been fighting quite a bit because he sees nothing wrong with coming home later because he's a grown man and thinks I'm treating him like a child with a curfew. Before, he wouldn't come home that late. Maybe once in a while, but not too often. Now since he met this friend, he likes to hang out and stays after work hours saying he lost track of time. Last week, they ordered take out and he came home late, and we didn't eat together. His argument will be he's always with me. It's true, he never goes out but I don't think him hanging out is being considerate. If I express this he gets mad, saying I am having a tantrum. Maybe I need to have more going on in my life, I don't know. Opinions please.
somanymistakes Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 If you were expecting to eat together and he went and ate out and didn't tell you, that's inconsiderate. However, expecting him to be home right after work all the time does sound a little controlling. If he's going out ALL the time and never spending time with you, that's bad. Maybe talk about what's a reasonable amount, and make sure he lets you kno what his plans are?
RecentChange Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I think expecting him to come straight home every night for no other reason besides you are there, and have nothing else to do is unreasonable. He should have the curtisy to text or call you, let you know that he will be late, and the approximate time he will be home. My husband and I have lives and friends outside of each other. He works in a different industry than mine, and it's not uncommon for him to stay out a bit with the guys once or twice a week. I expect a text to let me know when he will be home, if he will be getting his own food (so I don't cook for two), and for him to check in around my bedtime (11:30 pm) if he isn't home by then so I can sleep without worrying about him. If you got those things would you be happy? Is the communication the issue - or do you simply want him coming straight home?
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