SadSouls Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 So I'm male, and my best friend is a female who I've know since I was 4. Two decades on nothing has ever happened between us. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend, and she offered to go to a nightclub with me to help me get over her. We've been clubbing together before and normally act as each other wingman/woman. And the same thing happened on this night out. That is, until we left the club at 3am. We were both very drunk and when waiting for a taxi she got a little upset about someone she had seen in the club. I gave her a hug to comfort her, and drew her hair behind her ear. She looked up at me and came closer and we ended up kissing. We then went back to hers (which was the original plan). I was meant to be sleeping in the spare room. She joined me, things happened. Waking up the next morning and sober, we dodged the subject. We then went for dinner that evening and agreed to put it behind us and pretty much pretend it didn't happen. Except here's the problem: I can't stop thinking about it. I have never had feelings for her before. And I'm not sure I do right now. But the kiss we had kind of felt passionate. I'm very confused given my recent breakup. I'm just wondering whether anyone thinks it was anything more than a drunken mistake? Could it be possible she has feelings for me?
bishop Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 What do you want? I've had stories with bestfriends before. this is how i lived it I am a girl surrounded by male friends, if i was interested by a male friend, i would have made a move. or if i was too shy to make a move, it would have been obvious, flirting, touching whatever. When something does happen accidentally ie drunken kissing or feeling vulnerable after a breakup ect... that is what it is: being vulnerable and needing reassurance. (you said she was disappointed about someone she'd seen in the club) and naturally you are friends, you like eachother's company, she trusts you... it has happend to me to kiss a friend when feeling vulnerable and i am sorry to say it was not romantic at all. selfish as that may sound its only human to have weakness and being drunk does not help in decision making. you both agreed to not talk about it. you can tell her how you feel when you have figured out how you feel, dont jump in. My humble advice is to let things cool down and figure out what you really want before risking a friendship. 2
smackie9 Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 Alcohol can be a truth serum....this might have been a moment she had been waiting for. I think she's been holding out on you. I agree with the above poster to figure out what you want.....you are still raw after a breakup, you don't want this to turn into a rebound thing....clear your head. 3
preraph Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 She very well may have feelings for you. You need to just talk to her about it and be honest. Say, "Are you okay with what just happened? I enjoyed it, but I'm a little confused and not sure how I feel overall. How are you feeling about it?"
todreaminblue Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 (edited) sounds like you are rebounding......done it myself...in a vulnerable place its how i ended up in a fifteen year relationship with my best friend.....he was there and i loved him he made me feel beautiful when i couldnt have felt more ugly physically or felt more worthless.........i had a blue egg on my head and had been abandoned...i now wonder did he see me as pathetic.which affeccted th eway he ended up treating me in our long relationship.........and with sympathy......maybe in all honesty his love for me and my love for him ......blinded us.. it was very passionate kissing......i rebounded into his arms i found a safe place in those arms for a while...i might ask him...we have split been split fro th elast decaxde he was with an affai rpartner...... he is courting me...i know I want to knwo who he saw that day we ended up together....so suddenly......straight into a relationship....... arms are actually not safe ...what is safe is healing from the inside first......and not drinking......it is hard when you have a best friend who is opposite sex ......it is common as you can tell by reading the replies to blur the lines to friendship and attraction when things are tough because you want to feel emotional and physical comfort....what i needed back then all those years ago....was a guy who could have simply been a true friend and hugged me held me close....and then let me go........and when i was in a more confident place....mayeb we woudl hav ego tto gether.....in the right head space and right in the heart...........take some time and heal ...do not rebound......i wish you well..fo rme now...i am in amuch better head space than i was a young young woman......but now...i am a different person....so him courting me now...is not the same.....never will be......deb Edited April 4, 2017 by todreaminblue
Hopeful30 Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I think anything is possible, but until you've moved on from your ex, you shouldn't look into it too much. This could very well turn into a great relationship, but like all relationships, it needs to start when you are in clear mind and clear heart. Then you will know for sure. Focus on healing for now.
Author SadSouls Posted April 6, 2017 Author Posted April 6, 2017 Thanks for the advice. I'm going on a trip with her this weekend so I guess I'll see how that goes.
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