d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 As a self employed person, you know something about the art of selling. You push but not too hard. You show the customer why you are the solution to their problem. You need a similar balance with dating. You appear interested but not overly eager. You have to help the other person realize why it's in their best interest to want to date you. It's a fine line. This point where you are now -- supposedly not caring -- think about what that feels like. Going forward affect this air of indifference. Outwardly it translates into confidence. That is what you need here. You have it in you. If you are brave enough to be a successful entrepreneur, you can date. BTW, fwiw, I met my husband at a networking function so get out there & keep your eyes open while you are promoting your business. You never know who you will meet.
gaius Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Hrtj, there's not really one set of rules you can follow. Some women like a lot of contact, others not so much. My girlfriend and I ended up talking for hours every night before we met, because we were long distance, but it ended up working just fine because we both wanted it. That's what it's more about, you both being on the same page. Matching energy. If you want this woman then find a reasonable time to meet. Not weeks from now. You're self employed so the only reason you can't is you don't want to. And if that's the case it's not going to work out. I remember sitting in the lobby waiting for Timshel to show up and I wasn't nervous at all because at the end of the day the outcome was out of my control. It was either going to work out or it wasn't. You're freaking out about something that's already been decided in a way. So instead just sit back, be yourself and enjoy the ride.
Popsicle Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Oh boy. This can be so nerve wrecking. So tell me again why you two haven't at least spoken on the phone?
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 So tell me again why you two haven't at least spoken on the phone? They have spoken on the phone. That is how they set up the date 2 weeks later because they had conflicting schedules. 1
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Can you not do friendly banter? any wit/charm? This is what you need to stimulate the conversation. I don't think texting is any different than talking when it comes to conversation. You go back and forth. Even I can see sarcasm, cheekiness through text. Sometimes it's more fun because it gives you a little time to come back with something. If you are dry and boring...ya you are going to lose any woman. We need to be emotionally stimulated with flirtations, cockiness, etc.
Author htrj Posted April 5, 2017 Author Posted April 5, 2017 Promise you all, i am no longer freaking out. She's talking, i'm texting and little by little my learning curve becomes a little less steep. Now supposed to be meeting her over the weekend rather than waiting all week. Lets just see how it pans out. 2
Author htrj Posted April 9, 2017 Author Posted April 9, 2017 Quick update. Met her today. Got on well enough, but really I dont know what to think. I think my insecurity relating to my inexperience showed, she did say I hadnt stopped nibbling my nails all afternoon. Before I say this please note that I am very conscious of putting this woman on a pedestal and very aware not to do it. However, I apparently have a lot in common with her father and her brother and we both have similar backgrounds. I can't help but think that says we have, at least something, to go on. Apparently chivalry is not her thing. I did walk with her to her car but she wasnt over keen on that and guided me elsewhere before we got there. I text her to see that she got home safe but no response. Before you comment please be aware, that there is no pedestal, I am not freaking out but I am nervous. I am not over reading into the lack of response to my text,she may just be up to something else or she may not be into me. I do find my inexperience embarrassing but I am at least a little less inexperienced than I was this morning and anything else I learn from this experience will be a blessing. I would like to see her again, what do you suggest to help keep this on track?
d0nnivain Posted April 9, 2017 Posted April 9, 2017 I don't know why it is that some people get uncomfortable when another person shows them basic manners. If she had a bad experience with a stalker she could have been reluctant to reveal her car to you least you follow her. Otherwise, you may simply be incompatible. Wait a day or two. Contact her on Tuesday & try to set up another date. If you don't get a positive response or contact initiated by her before then, she's not interested.
ImComplicated Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 How old are you? What do you mean by inexperience?
Author htrj Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 Will give her a ring tomorrow and see what happens. I thought we both had fun yesterday but if shes not into me I shall just move on. I'm in my mid 30's and a very hectic passed decade has prevented me from having any opportunity to develop a relationship. Apart from a few flings I have no experience of dating whatsoever.
Author htrj Posted April 10, 2017 Author Posted April 10, 2017 just heard back from her, im lovely but not enough spark. the search continues.
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2017 Posted April 10, 2017 Sorry but at least she didn't string you along. Happy hunting.
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