Author Shokes97 Posted April 4, 2017 Author Posted April 4, 2017 I'd add that she wants to meet up but doesn't know what she wants to meet up for exactly. The most I would do is tell her, "well, when you figure out what you actually want to meet up about we can take it from there". It's one thing if she wants to talk about getting back together and it is another if she just wants to rehash everything without any real objective. I'd pass on the invite for now if it were me. Best thing I've read. I may do just this. I've done my best asking the reason behind meeting but it's so vague .. something like I can't say til we meet. It's such a risk which she doesn't seem to notice. I think I should do exactly as your saying here. Thank you .
Author Shokes97 Posted April 4, 2017 Author Posted April 4, 2017 I would certainly go along with this.. till she has figured out the reason why she wants to meet, you could be taking a big risk here.. if it turns out, she is just holding onto you as a back up... then mate you are back to square one with your healing progress, and this time it could be much much worse.. Yeah I agree. I can only ask so many times and so far the answer is super vague. She basically said on the phone to me take a risk and come. Feel completely mind fd. I think I'm going to pass on the invite until it's much more clear. We shall see but I'll keep everyone updated thanks
Author Shokes97 Posted April 4, 2017 Author Posted April 4, 2017 Quick update. I took on board the advice of only meeting for one thing to fix things. I sent an email and just included some attachments of proof (therapy) and stuff so she can I've been serious about working on myself. And said if you wanna fix things I'll meet and if not no worries you know where I am. Think I'm gonna just contionue to do me and wait for a reply. Thanks for everyone's advice hopefully I have done the right thing.
SevenCity Posted April 4, 2017 Posted April 4, 2017 Quick update. I took on board the advice of only meeting for one thing to fix things. I sent an email and just included some attachments of proof (therapy) and stuff so she can I've been serious about working on myself. And said if you wanna fix things I'll meet and if not no worries you know where I am. Think I'm gonna just contionue to do me and wait for a reply. Thanks for everyone's advice hopefully I have done the right thing. I think sending proof was a bit much. It's like you got a ticket for a broken tail light and you sent the receipt. That's not what love should be. But I like how you stated your terms and left the ball in her court. 1
Author Shokes97 Posted April 4, 2017 Author Posted April 4, 2017 I think sending proof was a bit much. It's like you got a ticket for a broken tail light and you sent the receipt. That's not what love should be. But I like how you stated your terms and left the ball in her court. Yeah so it's left now, its really hot and cold so I'm going to leave it til she makes it clear. The conversation went from me saying that to her saying I need time to think..I said it's been months of time at least tell me what your thinking .. are you scared of getting back into it..she then flipped saying I don't want a relationship I'm so stressed and I said okay...she then said i've made it clear I want time and I want to see you next week to sort things.. Absolutely mind fd. I'm going to stay clear for the time being.
lauri Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Yeah so it's left now, its really hot and cold so I'm going to leave it til she makes it clear. The conversation went from me saying that to her saying I need time to think..I said it's been months of time at least tell me what your thinking .. are you scared of getting back into it..she then flipped saying I don't want a relationship I'm so stressed and I said okay...she then said i've made it clear I want time and I want to see you next week to sort things.. Absolutely mind fd. I'm going to stay clear for the time being. As I expected she would handle it. First off, you're clearly not ready emotionally to handle this. She's trying to see if you'll bite and if you still be there for her while she "figures herself out" (aka while she sees what else is out there). Anyone who truly is into you and is regretful of what happened would never be hot and cold, they'd be moving mountains to fix things. Her actions are what is important here, not her words. By her actions she's clearly indicating she just isn't that into you. I know that hurts to hear but the sooner you realize this the better. Also, I'm glad you've been working on yourself but sending her an email with proof that you have been makes it seem like you've been doing it for her. I think that to her is just a validation thing showing she still has this power over you. Take it as a lesson that you need to keep some of these things to yourself as your focus should be about you now, not her. I hope you're doing okay.
olivetree Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Quick update. I took on board the advice of only meeting for one thing to fix things. I sent an email and just included some attachments of proof (therapy) and stuff so she can I've been serious about working on myself. And said if you wanna fix things I'll meet and if not no worries you know where I am. Think I'm gonna just continue to do me and wait for a reply. Thanks for everyone's advice hopefully I have done the right thing. Hey I don't want to make you feel bad, but maybe this can help you out next time. Sending the proof of therapy and saying that if she wants to fix things she knows where to find you tells her you're waiting for her and are willing to do all the work. Basically, she has the upper-hand. You should have told her that once she figures out why she wants to meet you can talk about the possibility of that happening. There is some mystery there, rather than showing her your whole hand. She needs to be afraid that she may have lost you, otherwise you'll always be an option. 1
Bromeo Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Don't be too hard on yourself. I did the same thing while chasing my ex. Our logical brains work as such: Girl has problem = boy provides evidence of problem being addressed. Problem should be solved. It simply doesn't work this way. I provided documented evidence of addressing my exs issues with me, and it didn't make a difference. If anything, she looked at it like confirmation of her suspicions, or something equally as silly. Give her time and space, which is the hardest thing for men to do. When her feelings work themselves out, if she cares, you will hear from her.
jamili Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 if she cares, you will hear from her. I would argue if she cares, you wont. Since breadcrumbs isnt exactly the nicest thing to do to an ex.
Author Shokes97 Posted April 5, 2017 Author Posted April 5, 2017 Don't be too hard on yourself. I did the same thing while chasing my ex. Our logical brains work as such: Girl has problem = boy provides evidence of problem being addressed. Problem should be solved. It simply doesn't work this way. I provided documented evidence of addressing my exs issues with me, and it didn't make a difference. If anything, she looked at it like confirmation of her suspicions, or something equally as silly. Give her time and space, which is the hardest thing for men to do. When her feelings work themselves out, if she cares, you will hear from her. How did things work out for you and your ex if you dont mind me asking? Did you guys get back together?
Bromeo Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 How did things work out for you and your ex if you dont mind me asking? Did you guys get back together? No, not back together. It was months of her icing and stringing me along. She pulled some award winningly mean actions to push me away. So, she got what she wanted. A month later, she started up her games again. This time it lasted a week before i cut her off, this time rather finally. Two months of rock solid nc later, and I am much clearer. Only checked her FB twice. This helped a ton. Read my thread for what not to do. Lol All will be well. 1
Author Shokes97 Posted April 8, 2017 Author Posted April 8, 2017 Update I've made it very clear I'm only wanting to meet up to give things another go. We had an argument kind of the other day. I was angry and heated and said forget it you can do what u want from now on and leave me be. (The reason behind the whole time she's said you have the answer we can resume our relationship in easter and get back etc) and when I text she said she needs abit of time and we'll meet next week. My reaction was purely because she said she wanted a relationship and now she wants even more time despite having months apart. However. . She then said are you endin things to what I replied what's there to end were nothing anyway. She then said i've never I don't want to be with you. I've made my intentions clear for meetin and she said she wants to meet this week. Think it sounds good atm and we'll just take it from when we meet?
raditz Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 After months of asking for time and space. My ex has asked to meet me next week. Although this probably sounds good and many people would love to be in this situation...I have healed and I'm doing way better. I've asked her the reasoning behind meeting, is it a catch up or is to reconcile..she said she doesn't know until we meet and discuss things. I guess ive came here to ask for opinions. Do I go? Reckon I have a good chance? I'm really unsure of things atm.. Whats to discuss!? Nothing! Screw that my friend. Please dont go , stop talking to her, and smash your phone or delete your email or what ever. It will back fire, ive been there, the years ive chased women. I wish i would have moved on. You can do it, just dont let her trick you, its over for ever! Find someone new and connect with them
Marc878 Posted April 8, 2017 Posted April 8, 2017 Update I've made it very clear I'm only wanting to meet up to give things another go. We had an argument kind of the other day. I was angry and heated and said forget it you can do what u want from now on and leave me be. (The reason behind the whole time she's said you have the answer we can resume our relationship in easter and get back etc) and when I text she said she needs abit of time and we'll meet next week. My reaction was purely because she said she wanted a relationship and now she wants even more time despite having months apart. However. . She then said are you endin things to what I replied what's there to end were nothing anyway. She then said i've never I don't want to be with you. I've made my intentions clear for meetin and she said she wants to meet this week. Think it sounds good atm and we'll just take it from when we meet? Not bad. Don't let her string you along. If you do it'll come across as you're weak and not worthy of her. Don't put yourself in this position. If you want a relationship with her make it clear. If she's noncommittal walk away. Don't cot act her. You let her do the chasing. If you chase she'll just move farther away. I got news for you. She's not a special snowflake that can't be replaced. Read it "No More Mr Nice Guy" free pdf download. It's a short good read
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