abc123awu Posted April 3, 2017 Posted April 3, 2017 I have a long distance guy friend who I went to college with and then I moved away to a different state for further studies. We've been in contact almost every week and our friendship has stayed the same. we call/text every week and eventhough we are about 5000km apart. because of this I've never been worried about this friendship threatening my relationships. I've been in a steady relationship with a guy for about 1.5 years and my best friend who lives away knows about it. However, whenever he gets drunk he calls me even if it is in the middle of the night and my boyfriend is convinced his calls are inappropriate. i don't pick up ever but my boyfriend thinks he has feelings for me if he calls me so often for lengthy chats and even calls me when he is drunk. I never thought of it like that because he will tell me generally about all these different girls he is interested in. but now I'm getting worried because i hope he doesn't have any feelings for me, because on my part we are just very close friends.
smackie9 Posted April 3, 2017 Posted April 3, 2017 Sorry hun but he does have feeling for you....your BF is right. When a guy invests his time, drunk calls you, etc that means he is thinking of you in a romantic way. His talk of other girls is just a smoke screen. I suggest you set a boundary with this friend and tell him not to call you drunk in the middle of the night...that it's not appropriate, and it's makes your BF uncomfortable. Maybe that will give him the hint for him to back off and find himself a girl of his own. I don't know if he will ever confess if you confronted him about it, but out of respect for your BF you have to do something about it. One thing you will learn is, friends, like lovers, will come and go in your life. This friendship might be at an end.
kendahke Posted April 3, 2017 Posted April 3, 2017 Have you ever asked him if he's got feelings for you? Start there, first. Get clear on where your friend is coming from. Then tell him his inappropriate late night drunk dials are causing problems with your boyfriend. If he is your friend, he will check himself and stop doing that. Other than that, either your boyfriend trusts you or he doesn't. You can't control if your friend decides to text/call you in the middle of the night. All you can do is turn off your phone when you go to bed or put the ringer on silent. But I think getting an understanding with your friend about respecting your relationship is in order.
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