drizzie807 Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 (edited) I have been seeing a guy for 4 months (I know his isn't long) he has a bad past and is currently on a suspended sentence for drug dealing which he has put behind him and has began to rebuild his life…he doesn't have a lot of money because of this and has to work for himself so money is inconsistent. This doesn't bother me I like low key but this does mean we barely got anywhere we tend to have takeaways watch films and go for walks and drinks….again all fine. He doesn't like going out much because of his past….I like to go out but am happy to do this with my friends. It's the most chilled and calm relationship I've had we take the mick out of each other alot and I do joke about us not going out much but I always thought it didn't bother him he seems so comfy in his skin. However I was very stressed one night ast my car had broken and I was stranded at his house as he had had a drink and couldn't drive me home. I felt he wasn't that bothered and took the mick a little too much he also was sat playing on his phone for a while so like a brat I walked out saying I didn't feel he wanted me there. He was furious with this and said he didn't want to talk to me. I kept pushing though rather than let him stew…even the next day when he ignored me I said if he didn't want to see me again I'd rather he say than just ignore me and drag it out he just kept saying I don't want to talk to you right now.. I still pushed and he said he was fuming and didn't want to see me again. This annoyed me and then he said he was so angry he'd smoked pot, I said I was upset so he said he'd call me when he'd cleared his head later that night. He never called so I text him in the morning asking how he was feeling (I meant more to do with how he was after having gone back to smoking) but he replied saying he felt the same he didn't want to drag it out but he was sorry and didn't want to see me again. I said OK but asked him to explain as it's always been him messing up and me forgiving him…this was the first time I'd upset him so wondered why I didn't get 3 strikes! He replied with a very long message saying that that night was the last straw , he doesn't have the money to wine and dine me but he was doing the best he could and I was ungrateful and spoilt. He didnt like that I joked about us not doing anything fancy. I told him money isn't an issue I just wanted his time and that he'd misunderstood me. It went on for a bit and I eventually said how I hated that I'd messed up and that I hated it more he couldn't forgive me. This was my last message and it wasn't't replied to. Is there anything I can do I know he needs to calm down and and I probably pushed him when he was trying to calm down but is this final? Edited April 3, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator typos ~T
d0nnivain Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 For your sake I hope it's final. You said yourself in multiple ways that your needs aren't being met. You have concerns about his past & his unsteady income. You don't feel wanted. You aren't getting romance. You have to push & push for his attention. Let it be. The fact that he has limited funds is no excuse for not paying attention to you. That's free. Getting takeaway is expensive. It's cheaper & more romantic to cook together. Find a nicer guy who treats you better. 2
preraph Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 Truly, this guy, if he's really trying to get his life together, doesn't need someone else to take care of right now. You like drama, and he doesn't, so obviously you are not a match. And just a tip, don't pick a fight with someone when they're high on pot or high on anything, including alcohol -- especially alcohol. And also, if he did get high just because you made him mad, well, he isn't handling problems well and his impulse is to just drown them out. You both have some work to do. 2
Maldives Posted April 3, 2017 Posted April 3, 2017 I have been seeing a guy for 4 months (I know his isn't long) he has a bad past and is currently on a suspended sentence for drug dealing which he has put behind him and has began to rebuild his life…he doesn't have a lot of money because of this and has to work for himself so money is inconsistent. This doesn't bother me I like low key but this does mean we barely got anywhere we tend to have takeaways watch films and go for walks and drinks….again all fine. He doesn't like going out much because of his past….I like to go out but am happy to do this with my friends. It's the most chilled and calm relationship I've had we take the mick out of each other alot and I do joke about us not going out much but I always thought it didn't bother him he seems so comfy in his skin. However I was very stressed one night ast my car had broken and I was stranded at his house as he had had a drinKelly and could drive me home. I felt he wasn't that bothered and took the mick a little too much he also was sat playing on his phone for a while so like a brat I walked out saying I didn't feel he wanted me there. He was furious with this and said he didn't want to talk to me. I kept pushing though rather than let him stew…even the next day when he ignored me I said if he didn't want to see me again I'd rather he say than just ignore me and drag it out he just kept saying I don't want to talk to you right now.. I still pushed and he said he was fuming and didn't want to see me again. This annoyed me and then he said he was so angry he'd smoked pot, I said I was upset so he said he'd call me when he'd cleared his head later that night. He never called so I text him in the morning asking how he was feeling (I meant more to do with how he was after having gone back to smoking) but he replied saying he felt the same he didn't want to drag it out but he was sorry and didn't want to see me again. I said OK but asked him to explain as it's always been him messing up and me forgiving him…this was the first time I'd upset him so wondered why I didn't get 3 strikes! He replied with a very long message saying that that night was the last straw , he doesn't have the money to wine and dine me but he was doing the best he could and I was ungrateful and spoilt. He didnt like that I joked about us not doing anything fancy. I told him money isn't an issue I just wanted his time and that he'd misunderstood me. It went on for a bit and I eventually said how I hated that I'd messed up and that I hated it more he couldn't forgive me. This was my last message and it wasn't't replied to. Is there anything I can do I know he needs to calm down and and I probably pushed him when he was trying to calm down but is this final? No definately nothing to be concerned about just him cool down. A lot of guys Inc me react like this. Wat woman don't get is that wen were upset we shut down where as woman wanna talk about it. The reason we shut down is because we're trying to figure out what we're feeling and wats going thru our head. The thing about him not wanting to see u again is just to get back at u to even the score that's wat we men do if we feel it's not even we immediatly try and even the score where as women count differently to us ull keep trying and trying and trying till u lose all feelings and then ur gone for good so wen a woman sees a man pull back like this she immediatly panicky and thinks it's over because if a woman pulls back like that and says those things they usually have let go. Make sense best thing to do is let him cool down and then be the 1st to say sorry cause he sounds like the prideful type. Otherwise go NC tI'll he eventually cracks and comes crawling to u
Author drizzie807 Posted April 4, 2017 Author Posted April 4, 2017 No definately nothing to be concerned about just him cool down. A lot of guys Inc me react like this. Wat woman don't get is that wen were upset we shut down where as woman wanna talk about it. The reason we shut down is because we're trying to figure out what we're feeling and wats going thru our head. The thing about him not wanting to see u again is just to get back at u to even the score that's wat we men do if we feel it's not even we immediatly try and even the score where as women count differently to us ull keep trying and trying and trying till u lose all feelings and then ur gone for good so wen a woman sees a man pull back like this she immediatly panicky and thinks it's over because if a woman pulls back like that and says those things they usually have let go. Make sense best thing to do is let him cool down and then be the 1st to say sorry cause he sounds like the prideful type. Otherwise go NC tI'll he eventually cracks and comes crawling to u So how long do I wait
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