Alostsoul1995 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 My ex gf dumped me and asked for some time & space so that she can finish her exams this summer because our relationship and her work was conflicting too much causing her stress. I agreed and told her that i would give her 2 months of no contact from me so that she could finish and so that she can decide whether she still wants me in the future. We arranged to meet in 2 months to catch up and so that she can make a decision in person. Also idk if this means anything but she sent an emoji sticker saying "I love you" as the last message i've received from her. Have I just made a mistake doing this? Any questions please ask.
kgcolonel Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I cant say if you have made a mistake or not as only you can accurately assess your feelings. The one thing i will say is that for me, an older man, putting my life on hold is wasting the one resource that cant be replaced....time. We all live with a finite amount of time and to take ones self off the market for such a non-committal situation would seem to be unfair. I don't think you can go back on what you told her without blowing up any chance you have but next time, I'd like to equal the equation in that, I understand the break up, lets catch up in a couple of months to see where we're at. The one exception is that if you both agreed not to date / see anyone during this time. Just my thoughts. 1
airborne3502 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 My ex gf dumped me and asked for some time & space so that she can finish her exams this summer because our relationship and her work was conflicting too much causing her stress. I agreed and told her that i would give her 2 months of no contact from me so that she could finish and so that she can decide whether she still wants me in the future. We arranged to meet in 2 months to catch up and so that she can make a decision in person. Also idk if this means anything but she sent an emoji sticker saying "I love you" as the last message i've received from her. Have I just made a mistake doing this? Any questions please ask. I know how heartbreaking it is to get dumped, but if you're important to her, she'll be back and she won't pull this crap again. Give her space, and make her live with her decision for two months. If she doesn't come back, you didn't lose anything that wasn't already lost.
DarrenB Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 To answer your question, yes you have done the right thing and kudos to you for doing so. I agree to an extent with above member. Essentially, that's two months of your life you are 'wasting' away in the hope to I suppose reconcile and reconnect with her romantically. On the other hand (and I'm not trying to be presumptuous about this), she could be wanting and doing the complete opposite. She could quite possibly just be telling you it's stress, well because it is. But sometimes there's always more than to what is initially said; a hidden meaning if you will. Hopefully for your own sake and wellbeing it is just stress and within 2 months she'll happily come back into your life. Just be cautious and always be ready if there's negatives that may arise. Especially one if she fails to return to you like she said she would. You don't want to be in a state of mind like despair and grief, predominantly waiting for someone that never had no intention to return. BOL. 1
SevenCity Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 When a woman loves you she will not leave you...period. Think of something you love - would you leave it on the side of the road taking the chance someone else may pick it up? Don't put your life on hold as she just wants to keep you as an option if other things don't pan out. If she calls in two months hear her out but don't count on her coming back. Move on with your life as if you'll never see her again. You likely won't. Treat this as a breakup as that's exactly what it is. 1
preraph Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 There are times when someone is too busy to nurture a relationship and usually the other person is going to be hurt and have issues with that, understandably, but the fact remains sometimes a person gets too busy and can't tend to their work or studies if there is discord in the relationship distracting them. This very well may be the end, because if this was the only way to get things done, well, life has lots of challenges so you may not be a good match. If this is med school or law school, there really is no time for anything but a relationship with someone who is totally going to bend to your schedule and accept less and even carry the load domestically. If it's some less strenous coursework, again, maybe just not a good match, one wanting more time than the other. That's pretty basic.
Author Alostsoul1995 Posted April 1, 2017 Author Posted April 1, 2017 So is there any hope do you think? She did say that she loved me but work is a priority at the moment and we agreed to meet and chat about it.
Marc878 Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 My ex gf dumped me and asked for some time & space so that she can finish her exams this summer because our relationship and her work was conflicting too much causing her stress. I agreed and told her that i would give her 2 months of no contact from me so that she could finish and so that she can decide whether she still wants me in the future. We arranged to meet in 2 months to catch up and so that she can make a decision in person. Also idk if this means anything but she sent an emoji sticker saying "I love you" as the last message i've received from her. Have I just made a mistake doing this? Any questions please ask. You were right in going NC. Now stick to it or you'll come across as weak and needy. Which is maybe why she's asking for a break. However, do you value yourself so little that you're going to allow her to decide if she wants you? This should be be mutual. You need to go your own way. Don't make the mistake of projecting your feelings of love on her. If she felt the same way about you she wouldn't be asking for space would she? Women look for strength in a man. You'd be wise to understand this. If you put more than 50% effort in any relationship you can very well get taken advantage of and lose respect. Perhaps a better thing to say is OK if you want to get together somethime give me a call. Do not be the first one to make contact again if you want to pursue this. If you chase they ALWAYS move farther away. Always!!! If she doesn't come back around there's nothing there anyway. One last thing for gods sake don't write her a long stupid letter pouring your heart out. That action says "you are worth so much more than I am and no matter what you do or treat me I'm always there"? Ask yourself this. Dies a woman want someone who she sees as less worthy than herself?
Marc878 Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 Another thing is if she does contact you again don't jump up and smother her with attention. If you do you put yourself in an immediate disadvantage. Mr nice guys get walked on a lot. Go online and study up if you want a good balanced relationship long term.
Marc878 Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 When a woman loves you she will not leave you...period. Think of something you love - would you leave it on the side of the road taking the chance someone else may pick it up? Don't put your life on hold as she just wants to keep you as an option if other things don't pan out. If she calls in two months hear her out but don't count on her coming back. Move on with your life as if you'll never see her again. You likely won't. Treat this as a breakup as that's exactly what it is. Excellent advice. Don't put your life on hold waiting on this. If she felt the same about you as you do her this discussion wouldn't be happening. Quit projecting how you feel on her. She's not on the same plain obviously.
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