Rebeccasaaauce Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and he had a long term relationship before he met me, which ended about 3 months before we started dating. His ex girlfriend moved into his neighborhood and apparently he was over her new house last weekend with his friends since they have mutual friends. He didn't tell me he was going to her house warming party and didn't tell me he even saw her until I heard him talking on the phone with his friend when he thought I was asleep in the other room. He told his friend he saw his ex gf and they caught up on each others lives. They were reminiscing on their relationship and he told her if she ever needs anything, then she can always call him since they are living in the same neighborhood. They also apparently hugged for about a minute before he left her house. I've always been alittle worried about her since we did start dating 3 months after they broke up and he never has anything bad to say about her. Shes also prettier than me. I noticed he always looks at her snap chat stories right away, which I know sounds stupid but to me it seems like he is still interested in what she is doing. Does this sound like he could possibly still have feelings for her? I don't understand why he would go to her house warming party when he wasn't invited, his friend was. Why he told her she could call him if she ever needed anything or if there was an emergency and why he has the need to always look at her snap chat stories when he barely looks at anyone else's.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 No, you're not overthinking it. It sounds like he does indeed still have a soft spot for her. He is essentially lying by omission by not telling you he's been to see her, and "reminiscing" about their relationship makes it sound like he misses her. 1
smackie9 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 Call him out on it because he is disrespecting you...what he did was inappropriate. When it's kept a secret, it's because they know they shouldn't be doing it. 1
jgraham11 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 It would be pure speculation to say yes or no to this. There's really no possible way to know for sure without asking him, which is what my advice is. Whether someone on here says "Yes, you are overthinking it" or "No, he still has feelings for her" you'll feel uneasy one way or the other. You're going to have to just bring it up to him and see what he says if it's bothering you that much. Otherwise you'll have it sitting in the back of your mind and it'll deteriorate your relationship. That last part I AM sure of
act00 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 The fact he actively monitors her social media is a red flag for me. The fact he went to her housewarming party, uninvited, is a red flag as well. You have been dating about a year now, and this is enough time for you two to know each other's friends and histories. The secrecy is an issue. Sometimes people maintain friendships with their exes and/or offer to be available in times of need, but if a friendship is a secret, this is a problem. You and your boyfriend need a discussion. Be collected, not emotional, when you bring this up to him. If he didn't really pay attention to her for a full year, and suddenly he's plopping back into her life through social media and through mutual friends, I would find this rather alarming. It's not overthinking. Something is amiss. "We need to talk."
preraph Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 If she moved in real near him and invited him to her house warming party, I'm gong to say they are not quite finished. Not that maybe they ever truly sustain the relationship, but I bet there are close encounters and sex and that one of them is carrying a torch still and wanting the other back. Maybe her since she moved nearby. It's not good. He could have invited YOU to this party, you know, which would have been the right thing to do.
smackie9 Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 If she moved in real near him and invited him to her house warming party, I'm gong to say they are not quite finished. Not that maybe they ever truly sustain the relationship, but I bet there are close encounters and sex and that one of them is carrying a torch still and wanting the other back. Maybe her since she moved nearby. It's not good. He could have invited YOU to this party, you know, which would have been the right thing to do. Apparently he invited himself because his buddy was invited. So his buddy brought him along....he wasn't an invited guest.
Recommended Posts