purplesoccer34 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Have you ever come across someone you know on a dating app or website? Perhaps an old friend, classmate, or acquaintance? If so, how did the conversations go? Would they be same as if you were talking to a stranger? I joined a dating app and recently matched with an old high school classmate. I wouldn't say we were friends--he never really talked to me in school. Although I do remember that we saw each other at a party once and he came up to say hi. He was a popular, outgoing guy with lots of friends and I was a shy wallflower with very few friends. I remember thinking he was attractive, but when he came up to say hi, I could barely speak. I was just amazed that he came up to say hi! After high school, I came across him a few more times at parties and stuff, but he never approached me. I never approached him either. I sort of just sat there admiring his personality, but the thought of dating him never crossed my mind. Perhaps I thought he was way out of my league. It's been about 10 years since we have had any contact at all, and here I am, matched with him on this app--which has me feeling pretty stunned. He hasn't initiated any conversation yet, so I think I'll step up and make the first move. Do I initiate this conversation like I would with any stranger, or should I mention something about being high school classmates? I would think that he remembers me, but I can't be too certain!
harrybrown Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 yes, make contact and mention the high school. Good luck, hope it works out.
olivetree Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 I say let him message you first. Most men like to pursue.
Author purplesoccer34 Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 I say let him message you first. Most men like to pursue. I'll wait a few days to see if he messages. If not, I'll just send the first message--I would think there's nothing to lose. 1
EmilyJane Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I'll wait a few days to see if he messages. If not, I'll just send the first message--I would think there's nothing to lose. Don't wait. That just makes it super awkward. Just say wow, how are you I haven't seen you in ___ 1
jgraham11 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 Oh damn! you're braver than I am. Anytime I see a girl I went to high school or college with I run for the hills. Something to do with the internet being this place that's disconnected from my daily social life. It's like I like to keep the two separate as best as possible I'd reach out to him and see what happens though cause it seems like you're comfortable with the idea. I'm sure he'll remember you to some extent
Author purplesoccer34 Posted April 5, 2017 Author Posted April 5, 2017 Oh damn! you're braver than I am. Anytime I see a girl I went to high school or college with I run for the hills. Something to do with the internet being this place that's disconnected from my daily social life. It's like I like to keep the two separate as best as possible I'd reach out to him and see what happens though cause it seems like you're comfortable with the idea. I'm sure he'll remember you to some extent Ah, I haven't messaged him yet. I guess I'm not so brave after all! It's been over a week since we've matched. I usually don't mind sending the first message if it's a total stranger, but considering I know this guy, sending the first message is all of a sudden a million times scarier! He hasn't messaged either, which probably by now means he isn't that interested. Who knows!
coolheadal Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Have you ever come across someone you know on a dating app or website? Perhaps an old friend, classmate, or acquaintance? If so, how did the conversations go? Would they be same as if you were talking to a stranger? I joined a dating app and recently matched with an old high school classmate. I wouldn't say we were friends--he never really talked to me in school. Although I do remember that we saw each other at a party once and he came up to say hi. He was a popular, outgoing guy with lots of friends and I was a shy wallflower with very few friends. I remember thinking he was attractive, but when he came up to say hi, I could barely speak. I was just amazed that he came up to say hi! After high school, I came across him a few more times at parties and stuff, but he never approached me. I never approached him either. I sort of just sat there admiring his personality, but the thought of dating him never crossed my mind. Perhaps I thought he was way out of my league. It's been about 10 years since we have had any contact at all, and here I am, matched with him on this app--which has me feeling pretty stunned. He hasn't initiated any conversation yet, so I think I'll step up and make the first move. Do I initiate this conversation like I would with any stranger, or should I mention something about being high school classmates? I would think that he remembers me, but I can't be too certain! He's not on that app or he's dating someone else if you haven't heard back from him yet. If you both know each other from HS then, you now have a chance to be together but only if he's interested in you after 10 years? 20% chance if does end-up in a date?
TheBathWater Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Have you ever come across someone you know on a dating app or website? Perhaps an old friend, classmate, or acquaintance? If so, how did the conversations go? Would they be same as if you were talking to a stranger? I joined a dating app and recently matched with an old high school classmate. I wouldn't say we were friends--he never really talked to me in school. Although I do remember that we saw each other at a party once and he came up to say hi. He was a popular, outgoing guy with lots of friends and I was a shy wallflower with very few friends. I remember thinking he was attractive, but when he came up to say hi, I could barely speak. I was just amazed that he came up to say hi! After high school, I came across him a few more times at parties and stuff, but he never approached me. I never approached him either. I sort of just sat there admiring his personality, but the thought of dating him never crossed my mind. Perhaps I thought he was way out of my league. It's been about 10 years since we have had any contact at all, and here I am, matched with him on this app--which has me feeling pretty stunned. He hasn't initiated any conversation yet, so I think I'll step up and make the first move. Do I initiate this conversation like I would with any stranger, or should I mention something about being high school classmates? I would think that he remembers me, but I can't be too certain! There's no one sure way to do it. Do what feels natural. If you want to reach out, go ahead. After all, he swiped yes on you. Funny story... one time I had a buddy who matched with a girl he went out on a date with like ten years ago, and he didn't remember her until they met up. He didn't say anything about the first date they had years ago and treated the whole thing like it was brand new. Haha. She didn't mention it either.
act00 Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 I think it would be great if you made contact. I fully understand your reservations. In answer to your question, "have you ever," I had a coworker pop up. There's no way on god's green earth I would ever be interested in him romantically. He annoyed me great deal when I sat next to him. I didn't say a word, but I suspect I popped up in his searches too, because there was some awkward behavior. Small world. Reaching out with your high school past could be a really good ice-breaker.
TheBathWater Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 (edited) I also wanted to add I have definitely seen a high number of people I know on OLD - coworkers, friends, acquaintances, and people who go to the same dance club as I do... even my sister's best friend who I also grew up with! Ha! I can't say it's awkward for me though. What's so awkward about looking for love? Everyone's after it. Sometimes I wonder if one day there will be an integrated social media site like facebook where online dating is openly part of the platform, kind of like shopping and such. There's not really a whole lot of privacy online anymore and OLD is definitely losing the taboo it once had. For some reason though, the women who I see on there that I know from the dance club but have never really talked to before and just seen around, they get SUPER weird around me after they've seen me online and never even make eye contact with me again. Ha! I've had a couple though who email me and say they've danced with me before and then we get together privately for a date. Edited April 5, 2017 by TunaInTheBrine
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