Glow88 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 (edited) I have been dating a really great guy for about a month now. Our last date went well spending the whole day together and commucation was good very much 2 sided (we FaceTimed every couple nights for well over an hour each time and he initiated the last convo just 2 days before his disappearing act. He then planned our next date this weekend and once again initiated the conversation he then vanished from �� I'm honestly confused as hell, now the guy has a history with depression and has gone quiet on me before as a result but not for 5 days like he is doing now. I've been ghosted before but seen the signs beforehand. I'm not sure if he is struggling and cutting me off as a result or not interested I've tried phoning twice to no avail. Edited March 31, 2017 by Glow88
smackie9 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Whatever it is...stop trying to figure it out. This is who he is, and there is nothing you can do for him. Obviously he hasn't got a handle on it, which is a huge red flag. I can never understand why people bother with someone like this....christ would really want kids with a guy like this? Not only would you struggle with his depression in your relaitonship...it will get passed on if he has kids....this fails. Get out now. 7
Author Glow88 Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 Whatever it is...stop trying to figure it out. This is who he is, and there is nothing you can do for him. Obviously he hasn't got a handle on it, which is a huge red flag. I can never understand why people bother with someone like this....christ would really want kids with a guy like this? Not only would you struggle with his depression in your relaitonship...it will get passed on if he has kids....this fails. Get out now. it's very unsettling one minute he's keen then silence. I struggle because when he's happy he's a joy to be around. Thankfully no children to pass it on to, we are both guys.
Author Glow88 Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 I'm tempted to send a message along the lines of I've tried to make contact but it's down to you now. 1
mushroomlol Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 I have similar situations before. I can totally understand that you are worried about him at this point and just trying to make sure he is ok. Whatever happens to him (depression or simply ghosting), let's say this is too much to handle at this early stage of relationship. Even though you find him this time and he has really really good reasons for the disappearing act, you will become more and more insecure over time, worrying when's the next time he will disappear again. It's really sad and heartbroken and I've been there. I am not here to tell you not to text him but rather let you be aware what might happen later. At the end of the day, do whatever that makes you happy and comfortable. If you are worried, text him, find him. Good luck!
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 I'm tempted to send a message along the lines of I've tried to make contact but it's down to you now. There's no need. He knows you made contact and he knows he is ignoring you. You don't need to inform him of either of these things. He also knows you will keep hanging on and will jump to speak to him again since it's happened twice. Have you slept with him? Things likely won't improve from here. He won't suddenly have an epiphany that you are such a good guy and maybe now he should give you everything you've always wanted. He has started out with no respect for you, your feelings or your time and now you're in that slot. You can keep on this emotional rollercoaster or get off it. 6
smackie9 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 They say people who are hot/cold, you are best to run the other way. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 (edited) I don't understand why you are eager to embrace his schizophrenic attitude. Whether it be from a genuine illness or no, why are you considering bringing that into your life? Are you desperate for a relationship? Perhaps you bring into the mix that will add to a dysfunctional relationship if it becomes one? I just don't get why some of us are so open to allowing dysfunction into our lives w/o thinking about the consequences and realizing that we SIMPLY DO NOT NEED TO DO SO. Edited April 1, 2017 by simpleNfit 1
preraph Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 Men are on their BEST behavior at the beginning of a relationship, so if it's bad then, it's only going to get much worse. He may have some problems, but he needs to go deal with those if he knows they keep him from maintaining a relationship. There's too many fish in the sea and your involvement is much too short for you to feel responsible or like you need to intervene. Just let him know, if he shows up much later, that you are not a good match and that you are moving on. 2
act00 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 You have a history with him that he goes silent, and you wait...gosh, his depression...if he's that depressed, he needs a pshrink, not a girlfriend. You have reached out twice by phone. No response. Take the hint, as painful as it is, he's just not into you. It's time to give up the ghost. He has other things on his agenda, and if his depression wipes him out of reality for days and weeks, this is not someone you want to build a life with. 1
Author Glow88 Posted April 12, 2017 Author Posted April 12, 2017 I gave up the ghost and I feel fine! he just unfollowed me from Instagram when I put a string of pictures of me having fun and living my life not waiting for anyone. I unfollowed him 2 weeks ago after letting it go. 1
CptInsano Posted April 12, 2017 Posted April 12, 2017 Men are on their BEST behavior at the beginning of a relationship, so if it's bad then, it's only going to get much worse. While in this case definitely true, I don't see this is a general rule, especially in healthy relationships.
reeseyummy Posted April 12, 2017 Posted April 12, 2017 Think about how you feel when he goes silence on you. Do you like how that felt? If not, then you will feel like this a lot (a even more intense) if you somehow get together. You have a choice to say no for feeling like this, especially when that other person is the cause.
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