candygirl985 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 The title said it all. After 4 years, he moved back and got back with his ex from 4 years ago. I feel like everything was a lie. Frankly, I don't know how I feel. Idk if I should throw things. Yet I'm sitting here .... shaking... Crying any thing you have to say please go ahead. Anything you would like to tell me .. IDK anymore. has he gotten with her every time he went home the whole time he was talking to me? Has he been loving her this whole time? what am I suppose to feel ? IDK it's mad, anger and 10000 million feelings that I'm just sitting here shaking
Whodatdog Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 The relationship with him ended 3 years ago. You should have gone NC with him then. Unfortunately you have wasted 4 years on someone who didnt love you. Its time for you to take care of yourself; stop with this addiction. He's not, and never was, worth it. 2
Altair0770 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I'm so sorry to hear that. Was his ex the dumper or did he dump her? Unfortunately sometimes in long relationships someone gets bored, or once the honeymoon phase ends they start questioning things, start thinking GIGS, but don't act on it. Then out of the blue a former ex messages him and he starts thinking he's special again. Were there tough times near the end? Was it out of the blue? Did you notice him acting different? Unfortunately it seems he never got over someone that he once loved.
Zahara Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 OP, in your past thread you noted the actual relationship was only the first 3 months you dated and the remaining 3 years were sporadic attempts at contact. So, it wasn't 4 years. There was no relationship. You just hung on to bits and pieces because you were scared to let go. The sooner you stop magnifying and romaticizing this for what it was, the faster you allow reality to propel you forward. You have to stop clinging. And it would be wise for you to block him as it seems you are addicted to him and the toxicity. Block. Grieve and heal. Stop investing more years in something that hasn't given you anything in return. 4
Author candygirl985 Posted April 1, 2017 Author Posted April 1, 2017 OP, in your past thread you noted the actual relationship was only the first 3 months you dated and the remaining 3 years were sporadic attempts at contact. So, it wasn't 4 years. There was no relationship. You just hung on to bits and pieces because you were scared to let go. The sooner you stop magnifying and romaticizing this for what it was, the faster you allow reality to propel you forward. You have to stop clinging. And it would be wise for you to block him as it seems you are addicted to him and the toxicity. Block. Grieve and heal. Stop investing more years in something that hasn't given you anything in return. you're right i should be clear. my relationship with him was not that of a committed relationship. When i say relationship , i really just mean we had a relationship. Most people in your life, intimate or not, I call that a relationship like that with anyone you form connections with. And yes, he's been block . This was actually the exact push I need because after this, there's no lingering hope. However, it does still hurt . I think I'm allowed to feel this way even if I put myself in this situation. I don't find my feeling invalid. Anyone who loves someone, it is unrequited , and you watch them love someone else.... who wouldn't feel anything even if they moved on and healed. Especially if the moving on is a recent progress.
preraph Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 Of course it hurts, and a lot of us have been there, wasted time on someone who didn't value us enough. It's a crap lesson to learn because so much time was wasted of your life. But I bet now you know not to let that happen again and to just move on. You can't force someone to love and respect you. Let the door close now and block him every way and don't spy on him and just keep dwelling. He's wasted enough of your time. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 you're right i should be clear. my relationship with him was not that of a committed relationship. When i say relationship , i really just mean we had a relationship. Most people in your life, intimate or not, I call that a relationship like that with anyone you form connections with. And yes, he's been block . This was actually the exact push I need because after this, there's no lingering hope. However, it does still hurt . I think I'm allowed to feel this way even if I put myself in this situation. I don't find my feeling invalid. Anyone who loves someone, it is unrequited , and you watch them love someone else.... who wouldn't feel anything even if they moved on and healed. Especially if the moving on is a recent progress. Nobody is saying your feelings are not valid. But it does appear you need a more realistic perspective. It seems you have hung on to something that was actually over quite a while ago. Telling yourself this was a 4-year relationship isn't helping you to maintain a more practical and healthy approach to healing. 2
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