dumbass2 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 I've noticed quite a few women on Match who have their age in their specifics at 49 and then in the written part do say that their actual age is a few years older, but they just wanted to broaden their match range. I don't think I have a problem with this because I realize how searches and daily matches work so once you hit say the magical 40 or 50, a lot of people under those ranges just put in a range of 30-39 or 40-49 when they may be just a few years younger than the top range. Any one see a problem with this as long as they were upfront in the written part? Funny thing is I did go on a date once and then found out that she aged 2 years in the within the first few minutes of the date when she told me, but she didn't really have a good reason for it. She was 45.
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Loads of men do this...usually it is to sneak past the site's cutoff. And yes, it is sometimes also to broaden the range, or to (way more often than not) be able to approach significantly younger women. I have known quite a few women who claimed younger because men their fathers' age (or older) were creeping them and they wanted someone who was more their own speed. The woman you mention may well have feared you would have rejected her for her real age even if that age was yours or, ironically, even younger than yours but not "enough younger" (another thing I have heard of quite a bit on OLD and experienced just once). Because on OLD women get this all the time. But we don't want to be a nurse. We want to be a lover. So yeah, some get desperate and lie just to not be cut off from their own age group or even a bit older. Sad. I'm not advocating lying, just explaining why it can and does happen. And it is very far from being exclusive to women. I can't tell you how many obviously college or early 20s pics I came across of 40somethimg men (I mean the hairstyles, clothes and so on) on OLD back when I was doing it. This was 15 years ago and occasionally I saw what literally looked like phone pics taken of old Polaroids. I wish I were kidding.
telemakus Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 I've noticed quite a few women on Match who have their age in their specifics at 49 and then in the written part do say that their actual age is a few years older, but they just wanted to broaden their match range. I don't think I have a problem with this because I realize how searches and daily matches work so once you hit say the magical 40 or 50, a lot of people under those ranges just put in a range of 30-39 or 40-49 when they may be just a few years younger than the top range. Any one see a problem with this as long as they were upfront in the written part? Funny thing is I did go on a date once and then found out that she aged 2 years in the within the first few minutes of the date when she told me, but she didn't really have a good reason for it. She was 45. This is ubiquitous, it's as common as the angled photographs that take a few dress sizes off. Apparently the male equivalent is to bump a few inches on height. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 This is ubiquitous, it's as common as the angled photographs that take a few dress sizes off. Apparently the male equivalent is to bump a few inches on height. Well yeah, plus old photos because the others were on his other computer blah blah he only had time to upload these two hem-haw no time to take recent pics but will sure get on that soon hummana hummana, photos from some thinner incarnation, shots sitting in a canoe with the majority of the body swallowed up in a life preserver, fishing gear, a crouched position and a high boat side, and a bandanna or hat in every picture.
spiderowl Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 People fear getting excluded from searches by potential younger partners (or even partners of the same age who are searching for someone younger. They know most people think in terms of standard decades and so they 'keep' their profile age just below the 0 year, e.g. 49. I can see why people do this, but personally I don't like it. I would not trust someone who had done that. I know no-one wishes to be judged because of their age, but integrity is most important for me. I would feel someone who did that was a slippery character and would avoid dating them. Others seem to feel it's par for the course, but that is up to them. 1
Author dumbass2 Posted April 1, 2017 Author Posted April 1, 2017 People fear getting excluded from searches by potential younger partners (or even partners of the same age who are searching for someone younger. They know most people think in terms of standard decades and so they 'keep' their profile age just below the 0 year, e.g. 49. I can see why people do this, but personally I don't like it. I would not trust someone who had done that. I know no-one wishes to be judged because of their age, but integrity is most important for me. I would feel someone who did that was a slippery character and would avoid dating them. Others seem to feel it's par for the course, but that is up to them. Even if they put the correct age right out there in the written part for everyone to read? I agree with it being wrong if it's brought up after the fact. I'm just wondering because a couple of them seem pretty interesting and a few years age difference doesn't matter to me, just their reason for doing it.
telemakus Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 (edited) Even if they put the correct age right out there in the written part for everyone to read? I agree with it being wrong if it's brought up after the fact. I'm just wondering because a couple of them seem pretty interesting and a few years age difference doesn't matter to me, just their reason for doing it. It's just weird. If guys are searching for under-50 then just accept that you're older than what they want. imagine men listing themselves as 6ft but writing on their profile 'I'm really 5'8 but I hoped some of you ladies searching for 6ft + would give me a chance'..well done buster, you've just weirded out even the women who didn't care about your height. Edited April 1, 2017 by telemakus 2
LookAtThisPOst Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I've noticed quite a few women on Match who have their age in their specifics at 49 and then in the written part do say that their actual age is a few years older, but they just wanted to broaden their match range. I don't think I have a problem with this because I realize how searches and daily matches work so once you hit say the magical 40 or 50, a lot of people under those ranges just put in a range of 30-39 or 40-49 when they may be just a few years younger than the top range. Any one see a problem with this as long as they were upfront in the written part? Funny thing is I did go on a date once and then found out that she aged 2 years in the within the first few minutes of the date when she told me, but she didn't really have a good reason for it. She was 45. I got a good one for ya. This woman I met on OK Cupid. I was early 40s at the time, I think 42. She had herself listed at 47. When we got to talking in the phone, she admitted that she was older than the listed age. So I naturally asked, "Oh okay, so what is your age?" (Keep in mind she KNEW my age) "A lady never tells her age!" I thought, "Wow, she's throwin' that old card out, eh?" Then I thought to myself, "Okay, I'll play along....I go along with it and please her by not pressing for it...at least initially." Fast fwd after date #2. I ask her her age...again. She still gives me the same song and dance. Said when she became a model at 21, she never told her real age to anyone. I said, "Okay, wouldn't you think if you're dating someone, that you'd want to know the simple basics about someone...you know, like age?" "I mean, if you're not being honest about your age, who is to say you won't keep something else from me?" She ghosted after that. Bullet dodged. 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 It's just weird. If guys are searching for under-50 then just accept that you're older than what they want. imagine men listing themselves as 6ft but writing on their profile 'I'm really 5'8 but I hoped some of you ladies searching for 6ft + would give me a chance'..well done buster, you've just weirded out even the women who didn't care about your height. Actually, they often do exactly this, they just don't state it. The woman is apparently not supposed to notice on the date that Mr. 6'0" is actually short. If women are searching for over 5'8"s just accept you're shorter than they want. I also made comments on men baldly lying about their ages but my posts simply aren't showing up...you never know, maybe this one will. But anyway, I saw TONS of obvious outright lying by men about ages on OLD...so the much younger women would be fooled into accepting a date with them. It's just weird. If women are searching for men who are not significantly older just accept that you're older than they want. Funny how this all works, eh...? 1
Author dumbass2 Posted April 1, 2017 Author Posted April 1, 2017 It's just weird. If guys are searching for under-50 then just accept that you're older than what they want. imagine men listing themselves as 6ft but writing on their profile 'I'm really 5'8 but I hoped some of you ladies searching for 6ft + would give me a chance'..well done buster, you've just weirded out even the women who didn't care about your height. Yep, that's true. I guess I was looking at the analytics of how the whole match thing works and trying to see if I could justify a woman listing her age lower but coming clean in the written. I think it's a red flag I don't need to bother with. It's difficult when I run across so many with old or manipulated photos. So much BS to weed through and seems the older, the more baggage. Tough dating over 40. I also know women have it just as tough.
jgraham11 Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I've always listed my real age and I think guys can benefit greatly by putting an older age than what they really are. Not saying they SHOULD do that, but I think a lot of women on OLD aren't looking for flings. OLD types are (in my experiences) just looking for either short/long term relationships or of course marriage. So women typically will be a little more skeptical of a guy in his early 20s thinking "Well, maybe he's not through that phase yet
coolheadal Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I've noticed quite a few women on Match who have their age in their specifics at 49 and then in the written part do say that their actual age is a few years older, but they just wanted to broaden their match range. I don't think I have a problem with this because I realize how searches and daily matches work so once you hit say the magical 40 or 50, a lot of people under those ranges just put in a range of 30-39 or 40-49 when they may be just a few years younger than the top range. Any one see a problem with this as long as they were upfront in the written part? Funny thing is I did go on a date once and then found out that she aged 2 years in the within the first few minutes of the date when she told me, but she didn't really have a good reason for it. She was 45. Well most of them do it because they believe they would look better and say they are 10, 15 even 20 years younger. I personally as man do not look my age at all. i put my real age down then they think I am lying. Those age ranges look good. If you see a 18 to 99 those are fake women. Let the women you take out be older but look younger it's all the game OLD.
Better Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 This happens all of the time on the OLD sites with both men and women. People try to put their best selves on their profile with some embellishment, not realizing that they will have to explain it away later once they finally meet someone. I saw my ex's profile and read through it before I blocked her. Most of the things were tenuously true but a lot of things were just patently false. I dated and lived with her for years so I have seen her driver's license, thus I know her age and height. Those were definitely not true on her profile. I also know a lot about her and while her profile skated around the truth, it's not a good depiction of who she is/was when I knew her. My profile is totally truthful. While I may not get a lot of people hitting me up for a date, at least I know when I get a date that I don't have to explain away any of the untruths on my profile.
Space Ritual Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 People of both genders lie like a rug on dating sites just like they do on social media. Their goal is to make themselves appear as exciting as possible and not have a mundane existence such as mere mortals have. Case in point: One of my friends is addicted to Match. com. He of course lies about his age, he even went and had a hair transplant because he thought it would help him on dating sites. This guy is in his late 40's and doing bathroom selfies. If people go to all that trouble you should expect their entire profile is a lie.
SevenCity Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 When a woman admits its to avoid being filtered in the profile I think it's better than "This stupid app won't let me change my age!" A girl I dated a few months ago was 40 on her profile, when we met she fessed up to being 45. I saw her profile on the site and now she is 38! Women seem to have the biggest issue with age lying - even if they round down themselves. Another girl I dated said she was 40 and was actually 43 after a few dates. She saw nothing wrong with -3 years but "Would never date a guy who lied more". Nuts, right? Here's the thing about OLD vs IRL. On OLD you are reduced to a number that would have zero impact on your attractiveness IRL. I had a girl really interested in me recently (but had a bf) that had to be 10 years younger. Online I would have been likely filtered out. I'm not saying it's right to lie but I get why people do it. People will have an image in their head of what a "46 year old" looks like even if you look 36. It's easy for younger people to get angry and say people are dishonest and have no integrity by lying but they don't need to yet. I list my real age but considering losing a few years on another site as an experiment to get me below 40. That said, it's not s great way to start off a RL. Give these women a chance but be weary if there photos are only tits up, hiding behind a tree, blocked body by a kid, MySpace angle, etc.
Shanex Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 Some people lie about their profession whereas they are unemployed, about their height, weight or also age. Everybody lies on the Internet, doesn't have to be a major lie, usually a white lie to make them appealing to the crowd of the opposite gender. I don't have a problem with my age, not so much about the rest either.
Ami1uwant Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I've always listed my real age and I think guys can benefit greatly by putting an older age than what they really are. Not saying they SHOULD do that, but I think a lot of women on OLD aren't looking for flings. OLD types are (in my experiences) just looking for either short/long term relationships or of course marriage. So women typically will be a little more skeptical of a guy in his early 20s thinking "Well, maybe he's not through that phase yet Im guessing you are in your 20s....lying isnt so much of an issue. It comes up more when you are in your 60s. Common pattern is this----couple get married in their early 20s then they have a divorces i their late 30s. The men are likely going to be hunting for women in their mid to late 20s. Women are seein men do this sometimes having children is a driver because a woman in their late 30s and no kids wants to have a child soon, while someone late 20s/early 30s may wait. Same situation as you get into your 40s....women are afraid of men passing them over for younger women so they have an insentive to fudge on their age and other things. Another common non-disclosure is if a woman has children.
spiderowl Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 (edited) Even if they put the correct age right out there in the written part for everyone to read? I agree with it being wrong if it's brought up after the fact. I'm just wondering because a couple of them seem pretty interesting and a few years age difference doesn't matter to me, just their reason for doing it. Yes, even if. I don't know why but it bothers me that someone is prepared to do this. My immediate feeling is distrust, even if their true(?) age is in the profile. I tend to look upon lies as a being a bit like icebergs: one lie just above the water means many others below the waterline - or other issues. Edited April 1, 2017 by spiderowl
telemakus Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I was in a pub last year about two tables away from a really beautiful lady when a guy, middle aged, balding, bit of a gut walked up to her and said hi. She said something like 'Oh sorry I'm waiting for someone' and he then explained it was him she was waiting for. Now I have no idea what he had obfuscated that she didn't recognise him but she spent the first half hour or so of their date laughing her head off in half-embarrassment. To be fair she didn't walk off and they seemed to have a long conversation but I didn't get the impression that there would have been a follow up.
Author dumbass2 Posted April 1, 2017 Author Posted April 1, 2017 I swear, if I go on another OLD and my date shows up obviously not looking like her photo or profile and it appears she's stretched the truth enough, I will excuse myself and leave. I usually have a phone conversation prior to a date and I do bring up the fact that a lot of people OLD lie and I hope her profile is up to date and photos are within the last 6 months.
JuneL Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I dated and lived with her for years so I have seen her driver's license, thus I know her age and height. I actually read from an article that some guys over-reported their heights on the driver's license! Also, someone's weight may have changed quite a bit from the time his license was issued.
Better Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 I actually read from an article that some guys over-reported their heights on the driver's license! Also, someone's weight may have changed quite a bit from the time his license was issued. Well, sure, weight fluctuates over time. But in your forties, you are pretty much stuck with your height and age
joseb Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 Even if they put the correct age right out there in the written part for everyone to read? I agree with it being wrong if it's brought up after the fact. I'm just wondering because a couple of them seem pretty interesting and a few years age difference doesn't matter to me, just their reason for doing it. Then meet them and see. Things is, in real life if you saw them you would either be attracted or not. They wouldn't just be hidden from view the minute they hit their 50th birthday. That's the problem with old. There's all these criteria that seem good in theory, but rule out a lot of potentially suitable people. 2
Tressugar Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 (edited) I have to lie about my age. Yes you've read it right. If I put my actual age down no one on God's green earth would believe me. Now that's the truth! My age causes disturbances whenever I disclose my age. I was told that I need not disclose my age because most ppl wouldn't believe me anyway. I still date men in their late twenties. Ppl don't think twice about it when we are out and about. Edited April 2, 2017 by Tressugar
Dtrain2EtOWN Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Actually, they often do exactly this, they just don't state it. The woman is apparently not supposed to notice on the date that Mr. 6'0" is actually short. If women are searching for over 5'8"s just accept you're shorter than they want. I also made comments on men baldly lying about their ages but my posts simply aren't showing up...you never know, maybe this one will. But anyway, I saw TONS of obvious outright lying by men about ages on OLD...so the much younger women would be fooled into accepting a date with them. It's just weird. If women are searching for men who are not significantly older just accept that you're older than they want. Funny how this all works, eh...? Classic! Another razor sharp rebuttal. Best part is you don't have an ax to grind. I appreciate your words because they do justice to my heart. Saying I am younger than I am is counterintuitive. I would be more inclined to say I am older if I had to choose. In truth I am not about to apologize nor be ashamed for living as long as I have. The reality that the sum of my years makes the lesser of my parts was a very hard pill to swallow at first. Cest le vie. At present I have no interest in sharing what I consider to be my peak with anyone who lacks the sophistication and capability to love my giant blue eyes because they bare the wear and tear of laughing. Men don't age any better IMO. I have no incentive toward dating anyone older than myself. My grandmother married a man 25 years her senior because of de facto inferiority that stonewalled her from opportunities toward self-sufficiency. I was instructed by my mother not WTF her about the why of it. It was explained that my question would receive no suitable answer and that in essence she was oppressed and conditioned to accept her place. What mattered is that I would be free to choose. And I am. I am 5'6 1/2 according to my coworkers and a tape measure. They recently corrected my assertion that I was 5'4". A nurse told me this which I found odd and questioned but when she insisted I figured it was age related skeletal contraction. When I began a workout regimen I targeted the calorie burn to achieve the BMI for a woman 5'4". Again I thought the disappearance of my hips and boobs was age related. I state my height rounding up to 5'7". I have lived long enough to gain a preference for the superior eye contact from a man closer to my stature, particularly when horizontal.
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