Arranged M; wife in affair with boss. Want to stay married. ?

[WilyWill]

I'm curious--do you know if this happens frequently in your culture, or in other arranged marriages that you know of? I always imagined that cultures who practice arranged marriages would be very conservative and frown on this kind of thing.

[nilesh.j]

I'm curious--do you know if this happens frequently in your culture, or in other arranged marriages that you know of? I always imagined that cultures who practice arranged marriages would be very conservative and frown on this kind of thing.

 

I don't think it can be generalised like that. I think it is more to do with person who is in relationship, their sexual orientation, and of course today's fast pacing globalized world opens up options for individual to practice what they wish for and like.

[aliveagain]

These sort of things rarely work out, someone gets jealous or someone falls in love. The worst thing that can happen for you then is the other betrayed spouse finding out. Do you like having sex with her after another man has been with her?

[nilesh.j]

These sort of things rarely work out, someone gets jealous or someone falls in love. The worst thing that can happen for you then is the other betrayed spouse finding out. Do you like having sex with her after another man has been with her?

 

Hmm, yes I can understand what do u mean. So lets see. At present its OK. Yes I like havign sex with my wife after she comes back from him.

[aliveagain]

Hmm, yes I can understand what do u mean. So lets see. At present its OK. Yes I like havign sex with my wife after she comes back from him.

 

 

Then tell her you know and it's alright if she's banging her boss. Offer them your home for their rendezvous' that way you can watch and even join in. Maybe she can throw in a little humiliation for you. You can act as interference for them if his wife shows up at your door.

Edited March 31, 2017 by aliveagain

[Life lessons]

I'm curious--do you know if this happens frequently in your culture, or in other arranged marriages that you know of? I always imagined that cultures who practice arranged marriages would be very conservative and frown on this kind of thing.

 

OP may not be of Indian ethnicity, but I work with many Indians and I guess that's why I'm assuming he may be, primarily from his text, and if that's the case, it's very uncommon for this type of relationship/behavior. I do know many in the US and ones that have children in the US...born and raised..... typically still do arrange marriages and affairs are almost non existent.

OP, are you Indian?

[nilesh.j]

OP may not be of Indian ethnicity, but I work with many Indians and I guess that's why I'm assuming he may be, primarily from his text, and if that's the case, it's very uncommon for this type of relationship/behavior. I do know many in the US and ones that have children in the US...born and raised..... typically still do arrange marriages and affairs are almost non existent.

OP, are you Indian?

 

Hi, yes we are all of us are Indians. But different religion. Me and wife are Hindu, and my wifes boss is Muslim.

[Life lessons]

Hi, yes we are all of us are Indians. But different religion. Me and wife are Hindu, and my wifes boss is Muslim.

 

That's interesting!! I know many Hindu Indians. Muslims not so much! But from what I've heard of Muslims...from the Hindu religion, Muslims are completely different! I guess from what I've heard, that may be a little more expected for a Muslim but definitely not the norm for Hindu.

 

 

Do you have children together?

[nilesh.j]

That's interesting!! I know many Hindu Indians. Muslims not so much! But from what I've heard of Muslims...from the Hindu religion, Muslims are completely different! I guess from what I've heard, that may be a little more expected for a Muslim but definitely not the norm for Hindu.

 

 

Do you have children together?

 

There are many things different betwneen Hindu and Muslims. From thinking to religious practices, and lifestyle. Though both religions try to live together in india, peaceful co-existance is not always there.

 

We dont have children yet.

[BenchCoach]

This is all very interesting, given what you have experienced, but I suggest this topic should be moved because of the nature of the topic. This is an infidelity board after all.

 

No offense to your lifestyle preference, but there is a lot of heartache here on this side of the board... just sayin'.

[bubbaganoosh]

Yes, I am happy cuckold husband

 

Well better you then me. I wouldn't put up with it.

[smi11ie]

You never agreed the "cuck" fantasy with your wife before her affair. I personally think this idea would be bad for your self-esteem. Open relationships are built on a bedrock of trust.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Nilesh, I guess you and your wife work in India. As an IT professional either of you could be sent to the US or Europe for extended periods so if your wife is sent out that would break her routine with her boss.

Would you want that? Do you two want kids? If so your wife had better be careful and if she is on contraceptives she will have to be going off those if she wants to conceive with you. That also means she would have to break off her liason with her boss. Muslim men have a choice of being able to legally have up to four wives and so monogamy is not really a weight sitting on their heads. Hindus however, can have only one wife legally. For a Hindu woman to choose to have an affair with a Muslim man is really out of the ordinary. I know of Muslim Hindu love affairs and marriages which, though uncommon, do occur but for a married woman having an affair with a Muslim man is as rare as a blue moon. The thing is that there is a strong element of dislike and distrust among Hindus and particularly the women for the Muslim community. Of course it is heartily reciprocated by the Muslims. The fact is that hateful prejudices have been propagated over a period of time and has resulted in this great divide. However anything is possible.

You should seek out a cuckold forum to post as you will get a lot of sympathetic responses and advice there than here. The dynamic here is very different. Most of the people here have or are still suffering from the devastating effects of infidelity. Your coming here and cheerfully discussing your wife's infidelity is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. The other thing is that your wife had better be very discreet in what she is doing. If you know about her affair then I bet my bottom dollar a lot of other people know too and if the moral police get to know of her activities she could end up being harmed. You know that a right wing Hindu nationalist party is in power at the center and the states and the moral brigade is gradually going to go on a rampage.

 

Wily, affair at the work place in India are quite rampant especially with the younger crowd. A lot of women are in the work place and are earning well, are independent and given to calling the shots in their marriages. It is a funny mix of conservatism and liberalism in the Indian workplace and home. Guess if you want to have an affair there is nothing really there to stop you. However, overall I feel sorry for the respondent because such things tend to become an open secret and very soon he will become the butt of other peoples jokes. His wife's antics may even go viral on social media. I would say all bets are off.

Edited April 1, 2017 by Just a Guy

[SummerDreams]

OP what I understand from what you have said is that you are anxious about the expectations your wife and the society in general have for you to please your wife in various forms of your lives. So this affair eliminates your stress to do that, this is why you are "accepting" it. Though your mind can't accept this bizarre thing that's why you came to this board and made this thread. If you don't know what exactly you are willing to accept and what exactly you are asking us, we can't give you an appropriate reply. Think about it.

[nilesh.j]

Hi Nilesh, I guess you and your wife work in India. As an IT professional either of you could be sent to the US or Europe for extended periods so if your wife is sent out that would break her routine with her boss.

Would you want that? Do you two want kids? If so your wife had better be careful and if she is on contraceptives she will have to be going off those if she wants to conceive with you. That also means she would have to break off her liason with her boss. Muslim men have a choice of being able to legally have up to four wives and so monogamy is not really a weight sitting on their heads. Hindus however, can have only one wife legally. For a Hindu woman to choose to have an affair with a Muslim man is really out of the ordinary. I know of Muslim Hindu love affairs and marriages which, though uncommon, do occur but for a married woman having an affair with a Muslim man is as rare as a blue moon. The thing is that there is a strong element of dislike and distrust among Hindus and particularly the women for the Muslim community. Of course it is heartily reciprocated by the Muslims. The fact is that hateful prejudices have been propagated over a period of time and has resulted in this great divide. However anything is possible.

You should seek out a cuckold forum to post as you will get a lot of sympathetic responses and advice there than here. The dynamic here is very different. Most of the people here have or are still suffering from the devastating effects of infidelity. Your coming here and cheerfully discussing your wife's infidelity is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. The other thing is that your wife had better be very discreet in what she is doing. If you know about her affair then I bet my bottom dollar a lot of other people know too and if the moral police get to know of her activities she could end up being harmed. You know that a right wing Hindu nationalist party is in power at the center and the states and the moral brigade is gradually going to go on a rampage.

 

Wily, affair at the work place in India are quite rampant especially with the younger crowd. A lot of women are in the work place and are earning well, are independent and given to calling the shots in their marriages. It is a funny mix of conservatism and liberalism in the Indian workplace and home. Guess if you want to have an affair there is nothing really there to stop you. However, overall I feel sorry for the respondent because such things tend to become an open secret and very soon he will become the butt of other peoples jokes. His wife's antics may even go viral on social media. I would say all bets are off.

 

We are Indians but living abroad. I understand that Hindu Muslims relations are strained on more that few occassions in India. But religiously we are open minded.

[nilesh.j]

OP what I understand from what you have said is that you are anxious about the expectations your wife and the society in general have for you to please your wife in various forms of your lives. So this affair eliminates your stress to do that, this is why you are "accepting" it. Though your mind can't accept this bizarre thing that's why you came to this board and made this thread. If you don't know what exactly you are willing to accept and what exactly you are asking us, we can't give you an appropriate reply. Think about it.

 

I like being cuckold.

[BettyDraper]

I like being cuckold.

 

If that's your fetish, then this thread was an attention seeking gesture.

[oldbutcurious]

...Muslim men have a choice of being able to legally have up to four wives and so monogamy is not really a weight sitting on their heads. Hindus however, can have only one wife legally. For a Hindu woman to choose to have an affair with a Muslim man is really out of the ordinary. I know of Muslim Hindu love affairs and marriages which, though uncommon, do occur but for a married woman having an affair with a Muslim man is as rare as a blue moon...

 

Wily, affair at the work place in India are quite rampant especially with the younger crowd. A lot of women are in the work place and are earning well, are independent and given to calling the shots in their marriages. It is a funny mix of conservatism and liberalism in the Indian workplace and home. ...His wife's antics may even go viral on social media. I would say all bets are off.

 

This comment will be a bit mixed up... but it is not only the above quote I am a little bit amused/wondering.

 

Basically, I understand OP's point about "opening up", globalization, etc. Well, to begin with, infidelity is as old as the Bible - and 'tho "eastern" in origin, Christianism/Bible has been considered a "western" thing/belief/culture.

 

And as for globalization, we easterners are basically considered as the "conservative" when it comes to sexual liberation or however others may call it. Playboy, and now the proliferation of porn sites is a global phenomenon basically linked with "western" ideologues - basing on pop culture.

 

I wouldn't say tho, that we easterners are really that conservative. I understand from oral tradition that our forefathers had their shares of marital adventures - maybe, owing that formerly, my country was a "Muslim" country before it became Christian. We will not know the real score for sure.

 

And if literatures and pop culture would really count, I would say most "straight" members here are very Catholic - or more honest - Republicans in their views and how they cast negativity about extra marital affairs.

 

I would not generalize, however, as this opinion is based on my perceived "pop culture" which is of course a product of the mighty US of A.

[Bryanp]

I also guess that you do not mind having your wife putting your health at risk

for numerous STD's whether he uses a condom or not. I know a woman who caught gonorrhea of the mouth from giving her boyfriend oral sex.

[oldbutcurious]

Or then even religious in nature.

 

Basically, based on trends I see online, the traditional concept about "marriage" is eroded. I would not want to point a finger to blame anything or anyone, or that - making "eroded" as entirely negative.

 

Some people (let's forget culture because sexual liberation or acceptance of what one person's preference can be exercised in any culture, religion, nationality, race, whatever) accept the sexual preferences and practices of others with opennes not based on restrictions made by other men and their beliefs. ANd we are already on that age, whether majority of members here would admit it or not.

 

I believe this is what OP wants to know/hear. That he still can be a man of his own despite being "cuckold" or cheated on. That this did not make him a lesser man as this forum being confidential or keeping the real person unknown.

 

Well, OP, Nilesh J., you have just accepted that you do not mind what your wife does, and you are happy with it, then, so be it. Just keep doing what you believe is right, contribute to the betterment of humanity, and to hell with sexual pleasures of individuals outside your own. Just enjoy yours, y'know.

[nilesh.j]

Or then even religious in nature.

 

Basically, based on trends I see online, the traditional concept about "marriage" is eroded. I would not want to point a finger to blame anything or anyone, or that - making "eroded" as entirely negative.

 

Some people (let's forget culture because sexual liberation or acceptance of what one person's preference can be exercised in any culture, religion, nationality, race, whatever) accept the sexual preferences and practices of others with opennes not based on restrictions made by other men and their beliefs. ANd we are already on that age, whether majority of members here would admit it or not.

 

I believe this is what OP wants to know/hear. That he still can be a man of his own despite being "cuckold" or cheated on. That this did not make him a lesser man as this forum being confidential or keeping the real person unknown.

 

Well, OP, Nilesh J., you have just accepted that you do not mind what your wife does, and you are happy with it, then, so be it. Just keep doing what you believe is right, contribute to the betterment of humanity, and to hell with sexual pleasures of individuals outside your own. Just enjoy yours, y'know.

 

Thanks for your support. I am happy being cuckold. Every sexual act, orientation, fetish, desire has deep roots within individuals past, psycology and I think deep down we all yearn for love & satisfaction through such acts and find the missing piece in others. World has accepted the LGBTs now a days, hoping one day world can accept cuckoldry as accpeted and open form of sexual orientation in day today lives.

[Marc878]

Will you be happy if her other man gets her pregnant?

[Life lessons]

Thanks for your support. I am happy being cuckold. Every sexual act, orientation, fetish, desire has deep roots within individuals past, psycology and I think deep down we all yearn for love & satisfaction through such acts and find the missing piece in others. World has accepted the LGBTs now a days, hoping one day world can accept cuckoldry as accpeted and open form of sexual orientation in day today lives.

 

Yeah but homosexuality isn't a choice......being monogamous or being unfaithful is!

[nilesh.j]

Will you be happy if her other man gets her pregnant?

 

Yes, I don't mind.

[Bryanp]

Will you be happy if your wife gives you an STD?