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Arranged M; wife in affair with boss. Want to stay married. ?

nilesh.j

By nilesh.j
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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nilesh.j Member

nilesh.j

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Hi, I am 33 year old. My wife is 30. Ours is arrange marriage. We both work in reputed IT companies, and have good jobs. My wife having affair with her boss. And though I was aware of it since long, I am not confronting my wife. I still love my wife and do not want to go for separation/ divorce. And even though my wife is having this affair for some time, she never talks or give me hint about separation/ divorce. We still live our married life as normal. And my wife had been keeping happy and being loving and caring towards me.

Should I let this continue?

somanymistakes Established Member

somanymistakes

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Why ask us?

 

Are you happy? Is she happy? Does everything seem stable? If it works for you, then it's okay. If you're unhappy, then you need to say something about it.

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nilesh.j Member

nilesh.j

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Why ask us?

 

Are you happy? Is she happy? Does everything seem stable? If it works for you, then it's okay. If you're unhappy, then you need to say something about it.

 

OK, Thanks.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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If it is something that you can remain calm about and get along in the marriage and not be fighting or build up emotions until you explode, then it is your choice to stay in the marriage. Of course, there is no guarantee she will stay in the marriage. I am sorry this is happening to you. Is the boss married? If so, maybe his wife needs to know.

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nilesh.j Member

nilesh.j

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If it is something that you can remain calm about and get along in the marriage and not be fighting or build up emotions until you explode, then it is your choice to stay in the marriage. Of course, there is no guarantee she will stay in the marriage. I am sorry this is happening to you. Is the boss married? If so, maybe his wife needs to know.

 

Thanks. I love my wife and I don't mind continuing as it is. At least she is happy. Her boss is Married and has wife & 3 kids. He is in his mid-forties.

harrybrown Established Member

harrybrown

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So tell your wife that you should be able to have an Affair as well.

 

So would she be good that now you have an open marriage?

 

But at least do the decent thing and let the bosses wife know about the affair.

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Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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Sounds like you are too afraid to confront her in fear of losing her. That if you bring the affair to light, that she will leave. And before I go on, how do you know she's having an affair?

 

If I am remotely close to that assumption, then that is no way to live your life. What she is doing is wrong and you know it. And if it wasn't bothering you, then you would have never have found this place and posted here because all would be right in your universe.

 

So, you need to be honest with yourself and honest with us. What do you want to happen? If you're happy with how things are, then have a nice life and thanks for stopping by. If you want her affair to end and advice on how to try and save your marriage, then we can help you with that. If you want to end their affair or if you want to move on with your life and remove her from yours, we can give you advice on how to do that too!

 

The choice is yours dude.

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nilesh.j Member

nilesh.j

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Sounds like you are too afraid to confront her in fear of losing her. That if you bring the affair to light, that she will leave. And before I go on, how do you know she's having an affair?

 

If I am remotely close to that assumption, then that is no way to live your life. What she is doing is wrong and you know it. And if it wasn't bothering you, then you would have never have found this place and posted here because all would be right in your universe.

 

So, you need to be honest with yourself and honest with us. What do you want to happen? If you're happy with how things are, then have a nice life and thanks for stopping by. If you want her affair to end and advice on how to try and save your marriage, then we can help you with that. If you want to end their affair or if you want to move on with your life and remove her from yours, we can give you advice on how to do that too!

 

The choice is yours dude.

 

One of the person I know who works in her office told me about she being with her boss after office everyday. And they going out together and going in company guest house to spend time. I dont want to break our marriage so I am happy way things are.

mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

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Thanks. I love my wife and I don't mind continuing as it is. At least she is happy.
If she was happy, she wouldn't be off having sex with another married guy instead of you. What you need to understand is that the affair makes her happy. It gives her something, like an escape from her real life.

 

How lucky were you to have fallen in love with a person that you didn't pick? Do you realize how unlikely that must be? I think that's what happened to her.

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mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

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One of the person I know who works in her office told me about she being with her boss after office everyday. And they going out together and going in company guest house to spend time. I dont want to break our marriage so I am happy way things are.
Interesting. So here's a question - what happens when she decides that this isn't enough for her, that things would be a lot easier if you were out of the picture?

 

My point is that things are unlikely to stay like this for long. Something has to change.

 

If you're ok with the way things are, why not tell her that you know and she can stop sneaking around?

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Fearful Established Member

Fearful

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So you are comfortable with your wife banging another. I hope you will be comfortable when he knocked her up. You will also be comfortable raising the OM's child. Wonders shall never end!

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GoldenR Established Member

GoldenR

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So why are you here? Because I have no clue.

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BenchCoach Established Member

BenchCoach

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Sounds like you're a happy cuckold husband, to me.

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nilesh.j Member

nilesh.j

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Sounds like you're a happy cuckold husband, to me.

 

Yes, I am happy cuckold husband

Clay Established Member

Clay

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Yes, I am happy cuckold husband

 

Well then why are you here ?

 

You should probably not give it a second thought and go about your life.

 

C

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WilyWill Established Member

WilyWill

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Most men would not be able to live like this, but if you can it's your business. It's just strange that you would come to tell others about it on an infidelity forum. My guess is that her family would disown her if they knew, and your family might do the same if they knew you were happy with it.

 

If you continue to have sex with your wife, you should establish rules so that you are not exposed to diseases. Heaven knows how many other people her boss is sleeping with.

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nilesh.j Member

nilesh.j

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Well then why are you here ?

 

You should probably not give it a second thought and go about your life.

 

C

 

OK, Thanks. I will. Now a days I have strange urge to be open about being cuckold. But not sure how to say it. So thought of bringin it in forum.

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nilesh.j Member

nilesh.j

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And be certain not to get your wife pregnant.

 

OK. I am sure he uses condoms.

BenchCoach Established Member

BenchCoach

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Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

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mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

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OK, Thanks. I will. Now a days I have strange urge to be open about being cuckold. But not sure how to say it. So thought of bringin it in forum.
Don't you have to watch in order to be a cuckold? Otherwise, you're just a BS.
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nilesh.j Member

nilesh.j

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Don't you have to watch in order to be a cuckold? Otherwise, you're just a BS.

 

Cuckoldry can be experienced in variety of form. From mild to extreme. Wife getting banged by another strong man with or without the consent of hubby is what basic cuckoldry is. Then the involved can decide whether to go together, just watch, participate after, etc.

aliveagain Established Member

aliveagain

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If your happy, tell her you know and as long as your not raising his baby your fine with it. Get yourself a girlfriend and the world will be good. Having another man's seconds(since they do their thing after work before she comes home to you) doesn't do it for me. Is his wife cute, just saying.

 

The only cuckolds and swinging males I know are bisexual and use their wives to get access to men. Is that something your looking for?

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nilesh.j Member

nilesh.j

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If your happy, tell her you know and as long as your not raising his baby your fine with it. Get yourself a girlfriend and the world will be good. Having another man's seconds(since they do their thing after work before she comes home to you) doesn't do it for me. Is his wife cute, just saying.

 

The only cuckolds and swinging males I know are bisexual and use their wives to get access to men. Is that something your looking for?

 

I think I always felt like being cuck. Reaons may be rooted in my lack of self-esteem/ low self confidence. and being avoident of conflict in any situation since I was child. I always chose Flight or just frozen at place response.

 

I dont mind admitting that I am feeling happy, as I am feeling less burdened & pressured by expectations to please her, satisfy her, entertain her and be always there for her.

 

I never felt attracted towards men sexually so I am not gay. But as I explained, I am feeling happy as I always felt inadequete for her in one way or the other, and now since she is going with him, I am not worried about how to make my wife happy.

 

The man my wife goes out with is 43 years old, has a 39 year old wife and 3 kids. She is decent looking and mostly busy raising kids and other family things.

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