Shy girl or Not Interested?

[DMVeep]

I went on two dates with a very attractive woman recently, with an excellent sense of humor. She is very snarky and sarcastic, yet also seems somewhat straight-laced. I'm having a difficult time figuring out if she is on the shy side or isn't interested. The first date was a few hours over drinks. The second was a day date that ended up lasting about 7 hours. We had an awkward kiss at the end of the second date. However, she definitely keeps her hands to herself during the dates and didn't touch me at all. She tested shoetly after the second date to say she had a fun time and we made a third date.

 

I'm having a really hard time figuring out if she is shy or not interested. I know if I directly ask her it wouldn't go over well. However, I don't really want to waste my time on a girl who isn't interested since I have several other options at the moment. I'm a patient person but she hasn't shown me any physical sign of comfort around me, so I'm not sure how to suss out her intentions??

[SevenCity]

Give it one more date and go for a kiss as soon as you see her and gauge her reaction.

 

By the end of the date you should be heavily making out with her. If not, I would cut and run.

 

I went out with a girl that gave me no signs / touching on the first date and seemed in a rush. The 3rd date was a BJ, and 4th was sex. You never know.

 

Personally, I would be turned off by the sarcasm and snarkyness but that's me.

[smackie9]

If she keeps saying yes to another date, she is interested....isn't that how it works?

[CaliforniaGirl]

She could be very socially awkward and nervous and thinking the sarcasm will make her seem funny, so, more easygoing. I say this because personally I have to really fight against this. I even have to remind myself to smile when I'm make a joke. And I have to tell myself not everyone is going to think I'm being funny, ESPECIALLY if I'm not smiling, for heaven's sake! Sarcasm can be VERY tricky.

 

If something like this is the case for her then she needs a bit of time so she can relax. If you're still getting yeses to dates, maybe try at least once more? Do something lighthearted?

[Redhead14]

I went on two dates with a very attractive woman recently, with an excellent sense of humor. She is very snarky and sarcastic, yet also seems somewhat straight-laced. I'm having a difficult time figuring out if she is on the shy side or isn't interested. The first date was a few hours over drinks. The second was a day date that ended up lasting about 7 hours. We had an awkward kiss at the end of the second date. However, she definitely keeps her hands to herself during the dates and didn't touch me at all. She tested shoetly after the second date to say she had a fun time and we made a third date.

 

I'm having a really hard time figuring out if she is shy or not interested. I know if I directly ask her it wouldn't go over well. However, I don't really want to waste my time on a girl who isn't interested since I have several other options at the moment. I'm a patient person but she hasn't shown me any physical sign of comfort around me, so I'm not sure how to suss out her intentions??

 

Chill. She's accepting dates. In the first few dates, that's the biggest sign of interest to be thinking about. See what happens on the third date and you initiate a little touching and/or a kiss. Like it or not, women like the the man to demonstrate his interest clearly and let him lead for a bit before they get comfortable.

[DMVeep]

Give it one more date and go for a kiss as soon as you see her and gauge her reaction.

 

By the end of the date you should be heavily making out with her. If not, I would cut and run.

 

I went out with a girl that gave me no signs / touching on the first date and seemed in a rush. The 3rd date was a BJ, and 4th was sex. You never know.

 

Personally, I would be turned off by the sarcasm and snarkyness but that's me.

 

I'm sarcastic and dry with my sense of humor, so that's not a big deal.

 

I have no idea what her expectations are. Personally, after a third date, I think making out is a reasonable expectation. I definitely wouldn't expect sex though.

 

Anyone else think a kiss hello is a good way to start the third date? We are supposed to go out for dinner, where should I steer things after the date?

[smackie9]

There is no such thing as a kiss, or sex timeline when it comes to dating...maybe an expectation but nothing more. You have to gauge when to move in by her body language. If her arms are still folded, then so are her legs. It's best to start out with intimate conversation, hand holding, lots of smiles and eye contact. Can't be just lookin at your watch and going "OK it's the 3rd date, time to kiss..."

[DMVeep]

There is no such thing as a kiss, or sex timeline when it comes to dating...maybe an expectation but nothing more. You have to gauge when to move in by her body language. If her arms are still folded, then so are her legs. It's best to start out with intimate conversation, hand holding, lots of smiles and eye contact. Can't be just lookin at your watch and going "OK it's the 3rd date, time to kiss..."

 

I feel like sometimes people string each other along that aren't really all that interested. Sometimes they like the idea of dating someone more than they like the person, which is what I'm trying to avoid.

[smackie9]

I feel like sometimes people string each other along that aren't really all that interested. Sometimes they like the idea of dating someone more than they like the person, which is what I'm trying to avoid.

So what made you come to this conclusion?

[preraph]

She's not shy or she wouldn't be snarky and sarcastic. Sounds very outspoken to me. But now, if she's snarky and sarcastic AT you instead of with you out other people or things, that's not nice. Maybe she's a little socially awkward. Maybe she has a little brother and this is the only way she knows to relate to a man, like he's her pesky little brother. Could be any number of things. Too soon to give up. Dating is for finding out what a person is like. It's a long process.

[CaliforniaGirl]

I feel like sometimes people string each other along that aren't really all that interested. Sometimes they like the idea of dating someone more than they like the person, which is what I'm trying to avoid.

 

So you don't like how she acts, she doesn't give you encouragement and on top of all this you're suspicious of her...

 

BUT you are still interested.

 

Let me guess. She's hot?

[DMVeep]

She's not shy or she wouldn't be snarky and sarcastic. Sounds very outspoken to me. But now, if she's snarky and sarcastic AT you instead of with you out other people or things, that's not nice. Maybe she's a little socially awkward. Maybe she has a little brother and this is the only way she knows to relate to a man, like he's her pesky little brother. Could be any number of things. Too soon to give up. Dating is for finding out what a person is like. It's a long process.

 

Would it be too forward to invite her to my place after the third date just to hang out?

[SevenCity]

Would it be too forward to invite her to my place after the third date just to hang out?

 

I don't think so. That's how I got the one I mentioned to progress. I was shocked when she said yes.

 

But plan something like a movie / ordering food. Not just Netflix and chill.

 

And if she says no don't react badly. Just be all "no problem"

[preraph]

Would it be too forward to invite her to my place after the third date just to hang out?

 

Well, I think before you should ask her to your place, you should get to the point where your goodnight kisses are hot and heavy. You have to build value!

 

Next date, maybe take her someplace out under the stars or by a lake or river that has a great view and kiss her out there.

[coolheadal]

I went on two dates with a very attractive woman recently, with an excellent sense of humor. She is very snarky and sarcastic, yet also seems somewhat straight-laced. I'm having a difficult time figuring out if she is on the shy side or isn't interested. The first date was a few hours over drinks. The second was a day date that ended up lasting about 7 hours. We had an awkward kiss at the end of the second date. However, she definitely keeps her hands to herself during the dates and didn't touch me at all. She tested shoetly after the second date to say she had a fun time and we made a third date.

 

I'm having a really hard time figuring out if she is shy or not interested. I know if I directly ask her it wouldn't go over well. However, I don't really want to waste my time on a girl who isn't interested since I have several other options at the moment. I'm a patient person but she hasn't shown me any physical sign of comfort around me, so I'm not sure how to suss out her intentions??

 

Your too much in a rush give her time let her see you as who could be different. Every other guy she and must of tried to rush things with her. Like touchy feelings. So she's not doing that with you yet. You are so impatient about it. Wait and see what she does next. She's dating you silly man. What else do you want and you wants so much and can't have someone different. Your say you have so many options, Yeah right, but your interested in this girl as you have gone on good number of dates so far. Make this last okay and I sure she'll learn to trust you and get out of the stranger mode. You have described wonderful dates here. Man you have so good and don't even know you have it so good?

[SevenCity]

Your too much in a rush give her time let her see you as who could be different. Every other guy she and must of tried to rush things with her. Like touchy feelings. So she's not doing that with you yet. You are so impatient about it. Wait and see what she does next. She's dating you silly man. What else do you want and you wants so much and can't have someone different. Your say you have so many options, Yeah right, but your interested in this girl as you have gone on good number of dates so far. Make this last okay and I sure she'll learn to trust you and get out of the stranger mode. You have described wonderful dates here. Man you have so good and don't even know you have it so good?

 

This was rather nasty to the OP. He didn't say he had "so many options" like he was bragging.

 

He has other options with women as you often do when you are dating several. He has limited resources (time and money - no one has endless supplies of either) and wants to make sure he's allocating them for the best possible return on his investment.

 

It's not about being in a rush, it's avoiding being used. Just because she is saying yes to dates does not mean she's interested in anything more than entertainment. Yes, sometimes women use men for lack of anything better to do - shocking, right?

[Medsop]

This was rather nasty to the OP. He didn't say he had "so many options" like he was bragging.

 

He has other options with women as you often do when you are dating several. He has limited resources (time and money - no one has endless supplies of either) and wants to make sure he's allocating them for the best possible return on his investment.

 

It's not about being in a rush, it's avoiding being used. Just because she is saying yes to dates does not mean she's interested in anything more than entertainment. Yes, sometimes women use men for lack of anything better to do - shocking, right?

 

Good point. If she is not showing interest in between dates or during the date she can be saying yes to a free night out not necessarily because she is interested.

[SevenCity]

Good point. If she is not showing interest in between dates or during the date she can be saying yes to a free night out not necessarily because she is interested.

 

Exactly. I've had this done to me and it's such an annoying waste of my time.

 

That's why I typically won't go out again with a girl who does not give me a kiss on the first date.

 

I had terrible date last weekend where the girl had no problem getting two drinks and dinner and promptly unmatched me by the time I got home.

 

It was my fault for not cutting it earlier but she had no intention of ever seeing me again (likely after the first drink) yet had no qualms about getting a free meal out of it.

 

Some women will go several dates of freebies.

 

If women typically paid for dates it would not be an issue.

[Tressugar]

I definitely don't kiss in the first date and probably not on the second date either. I make enough money so I'm not looking for a free meal or entertainment.

 

I'm tired of men using me for my body and see what they can get out of me.

 

When I set my boundaries now I can weed out the boys from the men.

 

I'm soo glad that there are gentlemen out there who know the real value of waiting for the right moment to be intimate like a kiss.

[Medsop]

Exactly. I've had this done to me and it's such an annoying waste of my time.

 

That's why I typically won't go out again with a girl who does not give me a kiss on the first date.

 

I had terrible date last weekend where the girl had no problem getting two drinks and dinner and promptly unmatched me by the time I got home.

 

It was my fault for not cutting it earlier but she had no intention of ever seeing me again (likely after the first drink) yet had no qualms about getting a free meal out of it.

 

Some women will go several dates of freebies.

 

If women typically paid for dates it would not be an issue.

 

 

 

That's why I wait to see if she contacts me first in between dates to find out if I am wasting my time. Not contacting a guy first atleast once is a clear sign of her not being interested. Then I would be told that's because women want men to take the lead. That has nothing to do with a good morning text.

[Medsop]

I definitely don't kiss in the first date and probably not on the second date either. I make enough money so I'm not looking for a free meal or entertainment.

 

I'm tired of men using me for my body and see what they can get out of me.

 

When I set my boundaries now I can weed out the boys from the men.

 

I'm soo glad that there are gentlemen out there who know the real value of waiting for the right moment to be intimate like a kiss.

 

 

I have a second date tonight and was going to see if there was an opportunity for a kiss. I'm not that good at dating and normally wait until the third date to kiss.

[SevenCity]

I definitely don't kiss in the first date and probably not on the second date either. I make enough money so I'm not looking for a free meal or entertainment.

 

I'm tired of men using me for my body and see what they can get out of me.

 

When I set my boundaries now I can weed out the boys from the men.

 

I'm soo glad that there are gentlemen out there who know the real value of waiting for the right moment to be intimate like a kiss.

 

 

It seems that you harbor some anger towards men in general as you were used for sex in the past.

 

Getting a sign of interest (a kiss) has nothing to do with being a "boy" vs a "man". It has to do with not wasting your time on a woman who is not interested in you.

 

And it has nothing to do with how much money you make. Just because someone wants a free meal doesn't mean they are poor. Everyone likes free, depends on the person how much you are willing to go through to get it.

 

I've had great success in weeding out women who were not interested so I can make room for ones that are.

 

That may make me a "boy" In your eyes but I like efficiency. I am lucky enough to have options where I can choose not to pursue a woman who won't break her rule book due to interest in me. I want a girl who is very interested and I won't settle for ones that are not. Why would I?

 

This isn't about banging as many chicks as you can, it's about weeding out those who would not make good partners so you can make room for those who would.

[SevenCity]

That's why I wait to see if she contacts me first in between dates to find out if I am wasting my time. Not contacting a guy first atleast once is a clear sign of her not being interested. Then I would be told that's because women want men to take the lead. That has nothing to do with a good morning text.

 

At first they may bee too nervous or want you to chase. But after a second date I totally agree.

 

In my recent dating every one has contacted me after the first date though. At least to say thank you / had a good time.

[SevenCity]

I have a second date tonight and was going to see if there was an opportunity for a kiss. I'm not that good at dating and normally wait until the third date to kiss.

 

You can't wait too long otherwise you might get friendzoned.

 

Go at the pace at which you are comfortable though.

 

My last two dates resulted in a kiss after 2 hours of meeting them. One seems a little "loose" lol but the other does not.

 

It still amazes me that I can make a connection in 2 hours by doing nothing more than letting them talk about themselves and asking questions. I hardly talk at all.

 

I leaned a lot of this stuff from Corey Wayne. I sugguest you check out his work. It has helped me tremendously since it's been decades since I last dated.

 

Once you get good you will develop a confidence that women will love.

[mushroomlol]

I feel like sometimes people string each other along that aren't really all that interested. Sometimes they like the idea of dating someone more than they like the person, which is what I'm trying to avoid.

 

I am totally aware of this. This happened to me as well