Kisar Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 OK I am back. I hate to be such the sad loser but when I say that I do not have anyone to talk to I mean it. My husband left like three weeks ago. Stated that he was fed up with are ongoing problems. We have a 6 year old daughter and I am two months pregnant. He has been visiting her and spending quality time with her. He has not stated that he wants to be with me again or anything. He has tried to touch and kiss me a few times. He has also given me money for the bills. I am so incredibly hurt by the fact that he has been out of the home. I feel so betrayed because I feel like he married me 4 years ago for his citizenship and now that he is legit he can dump me. He said that he wants to be bale to see his daughter and that is it...yet all of his clothes and things are at my house. Up until today I guess I had hopes that he would come back. But I guess he really hates me. I looked at his phone bill and found a particular number that he spends a lot of minutes on..day and night. I called it and to my un--surprise it was a woman. I asked her who she was and she did not want to tell me. I asked her if she knew my husband and she stated yes. I told her that I noticed her number more than several times and if there was anything going on. She told me to ask him. I asked her to level with me but she refused to. She also stated that she knew he was married and that she knew me. By the way she lives in another state. The state that he visits when he's got the time. As I write this paragraph the tears cannot stop falling from my face. I feel so ugly, I feel so terrible and I can actually say that I hate myself. How did I get involved with someone so bad. Anyways I call him to ask him what was the deal and he yelled at me and stated that he did not have time for the bull because he was at work. He sounded sooo guilty. I honestly never want to speak to him again. Maybe if this is the last draw things will be better for my life. I am definitely having an abortion because I cannot stand to think that I am carrying his baby. I feel so foolish. I tried to believe his lies so much to the point where I thought I was the crazy one. Where do I go from here? I have never hurt this bad. I can't even sleep. I don't do drugs or drink alcohol but if that will help me I am willing to do them. Should I go to the hospital? Because I do feel like I am crazy. How can I let someone do this to me? How do I allow him to see his daughter and then have to face him myself? What do I tell my daughter who really wants daddy to come back home? How do I ease the pain for tonight and tomorrow at work and the next couple of days. Is it best not speak to him at all or be humiliated when he calls to speak with daughter and not me. I did just change the cell phone number. How does one licve knowig that someone is treating them like trash? humiliating them? and all along they are feeling like thay are the number one problme. It's not fair. I have been suffering. I have been sooooooooooo sick with this pregnancy so far and have had no support. He does not want me to have an abortion but he states that he does not want to be with me. Help me Help me Help me Help me Please Please.
Neptune Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 I am sorry for the great trial in you life. I can`t tell you what to do. If I was in your position I would be on my knees praying to God. He hasn`t failed me yet.
katty Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 You definitely need someone to lean on sweetie, bc you are dealing with a lot of stuff. If you want to talk by phone I will call you if that will help. I realize you don't know me but I hate the thought that you are all alone and feel like you have no one to talk to. There was a time in my life when I felt that way and I wouldn't want anyone else to ever feel that way. I am serious about calling you. I am sure that there is someone near family or a friend that would be happy to listen to you but I am here if you need to talk. They will get on to me if I put my phone number or email here so please send me a private message if you need me to call you. I don't even know you and I am so worried about you. PM the phone number to me and I will call you if you need me to. Kat
theone44 Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 Just pray to God in Jesus name.,and ask him to help you. He is the only one that can comfort you,and give you peace in the time of trouble.
Angelina1433 Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 Sweetie, please, please, don't resort to drugs or alcohol over this. I've never been married, or even close to a situation like you've been in, but I can tell you, I've been hurt and cheated on - with someone I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. Unfortunately, you have to deal with him always being in your life because you share children together. But I know that you love your daughter and you are strong enough to be a rock for her. I believe in free choice, so it's up to you if you want to abort your unborn child or not. And honestly, I can not give you any advice regarding this. He's stated plainly that he doesn't want to be with you, and I can sense that you are extremely hurt by this. I could say that "time will heal", etc., but you are at your wits' end now, and that would be a bunch of rhetoric. Please stay strong. If you feel that you can't, please contact a good friend, or a family member that knows you well enough to give you some sound advice. You know that you are a strong, beautiful, smart woman, who deserves the best. Keep your head up, and please talk to someone who knows you well. But of course, feel free to continue to talk here if you can't find anyone else. You can always count on us! Or, talk to your doctor (even your gynecologist) - who can either prescribe you something, or refer you to a professional to talk to. Don't be afraid, sometimes an unbiased, professional opinion can offer sound, thoughtful insight.
Merin Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 What a bad place for you to be in.. I am so sorry. I know right now you're running on raw emotion.. you feel hurt, sad, angry, betrayed and uncertain and there isn't anyone who would blame you for feeling this way.. I know it's so hard to push that away for a moment but you need to collect your thoughts here and make a plan to protect yourself, your Daughter and your unborn Child.. While your Husband has been helping you with bills and seeing your Daughter, IMO you need to seek legal advice and support here.. it seems that your Husband has abandoned the Family and certainly the marriage and I would hate to see you in a position of not only feeling emotionally distraght over the events that have taken place thus far but to also feel a financial distress if or when your Husband decides he is no longer going to support you or your Daughter not to mention protecting your rights as your Daughters Mother so that he cannot make a decision without your consent to take your girl. Seriously look into legal advice in filing for legal seperation at least temporarily to ensure everyone is clear on obligations. Call your family and friends and let them know what is happening, don't feel ashamed to ask for support and help from the people who love you. Don't apologize to anyone here on the Shack for posting and reaching out for help.. thats what we're all here for.. to help each other out and support one another thru our hard times. Take care of yourself the best you can and please don't do this alone...
Baldy Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 I hope this may work... We have a guy here in England who is master at NLP, positive thinking, Hypnosis etc. He is widely regarded as a master of his craft and has helped me in a number of occasions. Apart from appearing on TV he writes his own books (I have actually just today received my latest book from him which i will read in the next few days). I have read about a book that he has out called "How to mend a broken heart". I have not personally read it but have read allot of reviews on it and have heard him on the radio taking about it. I have just done a search in amazon to see if you can buy it in the US and you can. I suggest you get it and see if it helps. If you do a search in amazon.com for "how to mend a broken heart" by Paul McKenna you can read about the book and actually has a long excerpt from it I know his stuff works as I have read two books of his and they both worked very well. Each person is diferent I know, but what is a few hours to read a book? If it doesn't work then at least you tried - I just hope it does! http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1400054044/qid=1122540811/sr=8-2/ref=pd_bbs_2/104-1313548-5946365?v=glance&books&n=507846
totallyconfused Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 PLEASE PRAY TO GOD, pray for strength and healing. He has never failed me also. I feel your pain, though I have never been married, I have a broken heart just as you, as many of us on here. You are NOT alone. DO NOT resort to drinking or drugs b/c it doesnt not help at all. Not even temporarily. It'll make things alot worse - such as health problems and adds to the dislogic. I know it hurts right now, but just FOCUS on YOURSELF and your daughter. Please talk to your mom, dad, brother, sister, friends, anyone who will listen. Go to a therapist, search the phonebook, find one asap. You need to vent out your frustrations and to just talk it all out. Follow Merin's advice on seeking legal and support advice. Since you are pregnant right now, you need to take care of yourself like you've never done before. This other woman has no self-respect for anyone, especially for herself. Knowing full well he's been cheating with a married man with a pregnant wife. And for your husband to act so selfishly, deliberately, and brutally. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Right now you need someone to understand you, please seek friends, family or professional help.
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