lurker74 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 OK, I'll try to keep this short but could use some outside perspective. I've been dating a woman for about 3 months now. Things are often GREAT with us. We connect well, there's a great deal of mental, emotional, and physical attraction both way, and we enjoy our time together immensely. But she has a bit of a hot temper. Not abusive or anything, just that things set her off quite quickly. For instance, we were talking on the phone early on and she asked about my New Years and I mentioned that the girl that I had briefly dated before her had gotten back together with an ex and blew me off for New Years so I went out with a couple of buddies where, one thing leading to another, I made out with a 22 year old girl (I'm 43). When she heard that, she broke up with me the next day saying she couldn't be with a DB that would make out with someone who was a child. Got back together a few days later when she calmed down. Fast forward to a month ago and while at a restaurant, she accused me of flirting with a waitress while we were out and broke up with me the next day (again). I did not flirt with the waitress and was just as insulted that she thought I was dumb enough to do so with her there anyway. Not that I would have if she weren't, but come on! Got back together a few days later. Now, two nights ago, we have a wonderful date at a cooking class. Go to my place where we laugh, dance, kiss, talk. Eventually, we have really good sex for hours. Pass out in bed. Around 4 in the morning, she gets up and says she can't sleep. I can sleep just fine but I start caressing her back and eventually try to make love with her, thinking it will help her sleep. She declines and I go to sleep. The next morning, she's emotionally cold. As I am getting ready to head to work (and leave her at my place), I ask her what's wrong. She gets dressed and storms out, saying she's angry at me. Based on text messages from last night, she thinks I was angry that she said no to me at 4 in the morning (I literally did not care that she wasn't in the mood). I tell her I was just concerned that she seemed angry and I didn't know why, to which she replies that "you don't own me and if I don't want to have sex I don't have to." So now I'm angry because she's making it sound like I am a sexual predator at worst and a jerk at best. And I'm upset that she can't seem to communicate what's going on in the moment so that we can discuss it. So she's starting to text me again but I'm thinking just telling her that were done even though when she's not angry, the relationship is an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. Thoughts?
PegNosePete Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Goodness, who needs that kind of drama so soon in a relationship? I wouldn't have taken her back the first time. She's shown you that she is unable to apply reasonable logic. She has anger issues and bails on the relationship at the first sign of problems, rather than communicating like a mature adult human being. A long term, loving relationship is clearly out of the question here. If that's what you're looking for then you need to BAIL and find someone a bit more stable. 2
smackie9 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Ya no one here is seeing any promise in this.....I agree run! 1
OatsAndHall Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 My ex-wife has a terrible and irrational temper that left me resentful and angry during our relationship. I was always trying to put out fires and be the "voice of reason". It was terrible, I ignored it and paid for it in the end. Run. 1
RecentChange Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Dude why? People treat you how you allow them to treat you. Is this chaos, drama, and what, 3 break ups in three months really what you want? What do you foresee in the future? Do you think she will get less dramatic the more invested she gets? I am thinking this will only get crazier, and she will use even more tactics to manipulate and control you. This is her flexing her power. Unless you are a good boy, she is going to "break up with you".
ChatroomHero Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 She is unstable, you will never win. You could sit there, wake up, have a cup of coffee and somehow it may or may not be the worst offense you have ever done to her with that type of person. Frankly I wouldn't want anything to do with that.
preraph Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 I'm with her on your making out with someone young enough to be your daughter, but she came back after that. She does sound overly defensive. I'm not sure you'd want to have to deal with that from now on, right? Maybe she's just struggling with sorting out some of her values (and they mostly seem like female convictions) and is really wanting someone who doesn't cross every one of them. I too think she imagined the sex thing, but that's just a misunderstanding. A man's answer to everything, even fighting, is usually sex. Not so with women. If we don't like you right now, our desire goes down. Sounds like she is wrestling with something and probably ambivalent about you. But if it just keeps happening, then it's more about her and what she's like and who needs that? 1
SevenCity Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Dude, this chick is nuts and will bring you nothing but pain and misery. Although I applaud you for making out with a chick half your age (cyber high-five!), you SHOULD NOT be telling a woman you are dating about it. That said, you should cut and run unless you want to be miserable and walk on egg shells until she dumps you for good.
Author lurker74 Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 LOL - funny how one gender looks at the making out with the young woman good and the other gender looks at it bad. FWIW, I consider it a mistake that I regret, which was how it kind of came up (talking about NYE and dating mistakes we've made). But thanks for the feedback, everyone. I'm usually very respectful of my time and emotions but I can't get her out of my head. Yes, she's a bit crazy but in those lucid moments, I've never connected with anyone as much as I have with her. The funny thing about the sex thing in the middle of the night is that she's the higher libido one...that's unusual for me. She's previously woken in the middle of the night and jumped my bones but that night I guess she just wasn't feeling it. Anyway, I guess I get to put myself into NC. I hate this part.
curiouslysearching Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Ya no one here is seeing any promise in this.....I agree run! Prediction...........crash and burn....
Popsicle Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 Why on earth did you tell her about making out with some other woman?
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