Are You Emotionally Intelligent?

[Larryville]

I just had to have a long conversation with a cousin of mine I have not spoken too for a number of years.

 

She is not doing so cool (relationships/life/love) and when she has to call me it is bad, but she knows I will listen and not judge. You never know if you can actually help people so sometimes all you can do is listen.

 

In addition to this site I love reading all sort of journals on working with the mind and thought/thinking.

 

If any of you have heard of a site called Thought Catalog that is a good example. If you have not read it is really worth a look.

 

I sent Cuz lots of EQ type stuff for her to read so this is not about my opinion or anything just sharing. Been written about more in recent years, many articles about it.

 

If you don’t know what EQ is take a peep, so much of what I read on this site regardless of age, gender could use the mental tune-up so to speak.

 

One reason why EQ is important?

 

“Mental Well-Being – Emotional intelligence affects our attitude and outlook on life. It can also help to alleviate anxiety and avoid depression and mood swings. A high level of emotional intelligence directly correlates to a positive attitude and happier outlook on life.”

 

 

Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Find Out Your EQ

 

Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Find Out Your EQ

 

I took the test not earth shattering, but interesting.

 

The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence

 

People with high emotional intelligence can use it to unfair advantage.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/good-thinking/201408/the-dark-side-emotional-intelligence

[RecentChange]

Interesting.

 

I scored “excellent” (although must admit it’s a pretty superficial quiz).

 

I am reminded a bit of family therapy sessions I attended as a kid (serious family turmoil at the time). The counselor would remark that I seemed like a buoy in the turbulent sea – aware of all the chaos, but in a way able to detach and stay centered through it all. In a way I am very conscious about choosing what I will allow to affect me.

 

I think my basic qualities that lent to that result is that I am a positive person. I believe strongly that the attitude you face the world with will largely impact your experience. I am social, and comfortable around people, I don’t fret, get nervous, and never opine about “what they may have thought” or said etc.

 

I take pride in my work, yet do not need to receive praise in order to know I have done a job well. I am a project manager – I know how to gently manipulate people to get the results I need, without ruffling too many feathers. I know how to face conflict without being adversarial. I quickly take responsibility for my mistakes, and part of my job is to take responsibility for mistakes made by others.

 

Your “dark side” article mentioned those with high emotional IQs are more likely to get raises and promotions – for me this has been true. I have survived huge layoffs, been promoted steadily up the ranks of my company, just this morning received an email congratulating me on my “merit increase”. I stress that my success is in part due to my skills and knowledge, but also very much related to the alliances I have formed. I am very careful to never make enemies (you never know when you are going to need that person on your side), and to remain steady, cool, calm and reliable.

 

When friends talk to me about their problems, I find myself often asking them “why do you care what they think?” “why would you interrupt it that way?”. When someone is upset / emotional etc over someone else’s words or actions, I point out the POWER they are giving that other person. No one should have the power to take your joy away – by investing in negative feelings, you are doing just that, relishing your inner power to be joyful and happy. I try not to give that power to others, its mine, not something they can take.

 

I often find myself saying “water off a duck’s back” – I shake it off and move forward.

 

And I have been told I can be cold, calculating, lacking an emotional response. I compartmentalize to an extreme at times.

 

So in the end, I am can be a calculating b****, the trick is stopping myself.

[Larryville]

I scored “excellent” (although must admit it’s a pretty superficial quiz).

 

Yes I got this generic statement…. Kinda like reading the newspaper horrorscope LOL!

 

You have exceptional emotional intelligence. You aim to surround yourself with positive people, and are a good judge of character. You are forward-thinking and willing to let go of the past. You don’t seek perfection, and tend to appreciate what you have. You are continually learning and growing towards independence, and won’t let anyone limit your joy.

 

I seemed like a buoy in the turbulent sea – aware of all the chaos, but in a way able to detach and stay centered through it all. In a way I am very conscious about choosing what I will allow to affect me.

 

RC that is me in a nutshell too.

 

I think my basic qualities that lent to that result is that I am a positive person.

 

I could not say that until the last couple of years…

 

I believe strongly that the attitude you face the world with will largely impact your experience. I am social, and comfortable around people, I don’t fret, get nervous, and never opine about “what they may have thought” or said etc.

 

Yup

 

I take pride in my work, yet do not need to receive praise in order to know I have done a job well.

 

Has always been me, I have loved every job I have ever had and really liked every boss I have ever had. Been lucky in that regard. I sometimes wish I made more money, but the job satisfaction and lack of stress and pretty much unlimited flexibility has worked for me.

 

Your “dark side” article mentioned those with high emotional IQs are more likely to get raises and promotions – for me this has been true. I have survived huge layoffs, been promoted steadily up the ranks of my company, just this morning received an email congratulating me on my “merit increase”. I stress that my success is in part due to my skills and knowledge, but also very much related to the alliances I have formed. I am very careful to never make enemies (you never know when you are going to need that person on your side), and to remain steady, cool, calm and reliable.

 

DITTO

 

When friends talk to me about their problems, I find myself often asking them “why do you care what they think?” “why would you interrupt it that way?”. When someone is upset / emotional etc over someone else’s words or actions, I point out the POWER they are giving that other person. No one should have the power to take your joy away – by investing in negative feelings, you are doing just that, relishing your inner power to be joyful and happy. I try not to give that power to others, its mine, not something they can take.

 

I often find myself saying “water off a duck’s back” – I shake it off and move forward.

 

DITTO

 

And I have been told I can be cold, calculating, lacking an emotional response. I compartmentalize to an extreme at times.

 

Wow, me too, the thing that people do say about me is I have empathy. The reason family members are at the end of their rope call me. I don’t sugar coat stuff and I will tell people what they need to hear. I do try hard to understand. My listening skills have greatly improved as I got older. I’m a seriously different dude that I was in my 20’s 30’s and 40’s.

 

Just another example that we don't stop learning and absorbing no matter what our age.