Dis Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Genuinely curious here. Is this a bad sign? As far as I can recall, women I've been on dates with who answered the phone during the date never told the person on the other end that they were on a date. It was always: "I'm out to dinner" or "I'm at the movies" or something along those lines. I think its a bad sign if they're talking to a person of the opposite sex (and its not a family member) in this case it was a 'close girl friend'
Jj66 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 I'd never take a call except from my kids or a close relative during a date. And I'd only do that in case it was an emergency. I don't like it. 6
Author mushroomlol Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 I think its a bad sign if they're talking to a person of the opposite sex (and its not a family member) in this case it was a 'close girl friend' That's why I don't like it. And I told him so. But he explained that the friend has some issues lately (breaking up with his another friend) and he told me that they never dated bc she's not his type. He even pulled up her picture to ensure me but I refused to see. 2
chphan Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 I And I am not sure if I like him that much. If this is the case why the need for this topic and why would you care? This issue is you and not him.
act00 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 If I was on a date and a romantic interest called/texted, I would not answer or respond...well maybe respond when I need to piddle and go to the bathroom, or after the date, but I would not respond while on the date and in his presence, and I certainly would not make it known that the person contacting me was a romantic interest. I would take a call/text from my kids or sister or family members if it was emergent, but not social or unimportant issues that can wait until later/tomorrow. That is just rude. 3
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 If they're so close that he is her support during an emotionally difficult time, then she must have known he was on a date that night. Yet she called anyway? There was literally nobody else to call? Disrespect. And he took the call? Disrespect. Unless of course he was attempting social proof: look how popular he is, even with the ladies. Could be a little game. He pulls back from the sex (as Jj described above...I have heard of such an MO before) plus he has a girl call during a date to further make you feel like you better snap this guy up. Just putting all this stuff together...I wouldn't feel this was really very suspicious if if were just one of these things, bit, well...yeah, I dunno. I could be wrong and he could just be an utterly clueless social moron with issues establishing boundaries with friends instead. Just giving the benefit of a doubt here. 1
Author mushroomlol Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 If I was on a date and a romantic interest called/texted, I would not answer or respond...well maybe respond when I need to piddle and go to the bathroom, or after the date, but I would not respond while on the date and in his presence, and I certainly would not make it known that the person contacting me was a romantic interest. I would take a call/text from my kids or sister or family members if it was emergent, but not social or unimportant issues that can wait until later/tomorrow. That is just rude. I guess when I say girl friend, it's not gf. It's more like female friend.
lurker74 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Back to the original topic, it's possible that he a) has performance issues, or b) has herpes. Either issue would explain his hesitancy to close the deal. As for people saying he's manipulating her by not having sex, while that's possible, it seems unlikely. A more likely answer is that he's dating another woman and thinks that's about to end and is lining up his next one. 1
DMVeep Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 (edited) There are too many possible reasons, just go with the flow it will work itself out Edited March 31, 2017 by DMVeep
Redhead14 Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Oh but last night when we were at the bar he picked up a call from one of his close girl friends when I was talking. He didn't mention he was on a date and said he would call her later. Ding! . . . now here's real reason to be questioning. Don't bother with this guy anymore.
Author mushroomlol Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 Ding! . . . now here's real reason to be questioning. Don't bother with this guy anymore. Really you think? Should I at least talk to him about this that I am not comfortable with this kinda action?
Shining One Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 I think its a bad sign if they're talking to a person of the opposite sex (and its not a family member) in this case it was a 'close girl friend' How does one know who is on the other end? I would think it's a bit nosy to look at my date's phone or ask for that information if it isn't freely volunteered. In any case, I didn't realize I should be judging women negatively for not announcing that they're on a date when they answer their phone. You learn something every day.
preraph Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Is he young enough that he could be gay and not ready to admit it and just doing the bare minimum to convince himself he likes girls? What worries me about him pulling back is that he might be judgy about a woman who likes sex or has any experience. Also, be sure he's not taken. Guys who are taken but like flirting around are sometimes looking for "non-intercourse" sex that they don't consider cheating, or in other words, a bj. Don't let him pull anything like that, where it's clear he is avoiding the deed but still wants to get off. Otherwise, I mean, if he isn't moving at your pace and you two aren't in step soon, then you just have to figure it's not a natural match. Be sure to use a condom if you ever do get around to it in case he is waiting for some cooties to clear up! 2
FastHands Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 I think everyone has a buying temperature. IMHO seems like he lost interest after you said that but a guy usually persists to get you. It could also be a sign of a controlling person on his side. Him getting a call while on the date was rude but I now realize that your both not officially bf and gf. I guess the smart thing to do is to put the phone on silent.
Author mushroomlol Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 How does one know who is on the other end? I would think it's a bit nosy to look at my date's phone or ask for that information if it isn't freely volunteered. In any case, I didn't realize I should be judging women negatively for not announcing that they're on a date when they answer their phone. You learn something every day. For my case, he put his phone on the bar table so when there's a call I can see the caller's name. That's why I know it's a girl. 1
Author mushroomlol Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 Is he young enough that he could be gay and not ready to admit it and just doing the bare minimum to convince himself he likes girls? What worries me about him pulling back is that he might be judgy about a woman who likes sex or has any experience. Also, be sure he's not taken. Guys who are taken but like flirting around are sometimes looking for "non-intercourse" sex that they don't consider cheating, or in other words, a bj. Don't let him pull anything like that, where it's clear he is avoiding the deed but still wants to get off. Otherwise, I mean, if he isn't moving at your pace and you two aren't in step soon, then you just have to figure it's not a natural match. Be sure to use a condom if you ever do get around to it in case he is waiting for some cooties to clear up! Funny it is I do think that maybe he's gay. He's in his early 30s so I guess he might have known? And I am pretty sure he's not taken... 1
Author mushroomlol Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 I think everyone has a buying temperature. IMHO seems like he lost interest after you said that but a guy usually persists to get you. It could also be a sign of a controlling person on his side. Him getting a call while on the date was rude but I now realize that your both not officially bf and gf. I guess the smart thing to do is to put the phone on silent. He lost interests when I say I want to know him more? Why?
preraph Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 Funny it is I do think that maybe he's gay. He's in his early 30s so I guess he might have known? And I am pretty sure he's not taken... It's awful old to not know, but if they have rigid parents, a rigid upbringing or don't want to be gay for religious reasons, it can happen.
Author mushroomlol Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 See each other once every 2 weeks/10 days. Very few communications in between. He said he is not rushing to put labels but he is not seeing anyone else. (He hasn't logged in profile for a while) 1
Dis Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 See each other once every 2 weeks/10 days. Very few communications in between. He said he is not rushing to put labels but he is not seeing anyone else. (He hasn't logged in profile for a while) Its up to you and what you want from a guy/relationship This wouldnt be the right fit for me. Thats not a lot of in person time, plus not a lot of communication in between the infrequent dates. I wouldnt be on board for that
Author mushroomlol Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 Its up to you and what you want from a guy/relationship This wouldnt be the right fit for me. Thats not a lot of in person time, plus not a lot of communication in between the infrequent dates. I wouldnt be on board for that And due to the infrequncies of dates, we actually have known each other for 3?months now...it's more like friendship to me but I don't even want this friendship cuz we have not a lot in common 1
Dis Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 And due to the infrequncies of dates, we actually have known each other for 3?months now...it's more like friendship to me but I don't even want this friendship cuz we have not a lot in common Ya it hasnt progressed...at.all Cut your losses and in the future...dont stick around for 3 months of nonsense 1
Author mushroomlol Posted April 26, 2017 Author Posted April 26, 2017 Ya it hasnt progressed...at.all Cut your losses and in the future...dont stick around for 3 months of nonsense I have been really busy with other stuff in my life. Now I came to a stopping point when I can finally relax a bit. So I just realized it's been a while...do you think I should at least tell him how I feel or string along or completely cut it off? 1
preraph Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 What is the problem again? Normally women come here and complain that the guy only wanted them for sex. This guy is taking his time, treating you decent and you have a problem with it? Well, he's not treating her decent. They talked about going out on Friday and she never heard from him and she had to ask him and he said he had allergies. Wouldn't he have told her this at least earlier in the day and not just stood her up? I'd be suspicious of another woman. And he's maybe fearful about having sex with someone and getting caught and messing that up. I mean, by five dates, would you know by now if it could be something else like he's very conservative or saving himself or something? Have you talked about his beliefs on it? The other thing is he could hate women who have any past sexual history. You'll have to talk to him to just find out what his ideas are. Meanwhile,. definitely date other guys too. 1
Dis Posted April 26, 2017 Posted April 26, 2017 I have been really busy with other stuff in my life. Now I came to a stopping point when I can finally relax a bit. So I just realized it's been a while...do you think I should at least tell him how I feel or string along or completely cut it off? I understand Since its been 3 months, I would send him a text Dont get into a back and forth conversation with him though Just end things...and be done
Recommended Posts