mushroomlol Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Met this guy online. Super nice. Had a good time hanging out. On our 4th date, we were making out heavily and somehow he asked me what I think of him. I said I feel comfortable with him and I want to know him more. Then he just stopped making out at that moment saying sth like 'I shouldn't do this rn let's know each other more'. He didn't stay over. We then were supposed to hang out the following Friday but he didn't confirm and when I asked he said he had allergies so he felt tired. I was honestly very pissed so I let him know. I showed my friend our convo and all of them said he sounds very sincere tho yet I came in too strong. On a weekday we met again and he sent me home and we just made out a bit and he wanted to leave. Honestly I feel very confused. I am on the fence to whether drop him or drag along but date others at the same time. Thoughts?
Author mushroomlol Posted March 30, 2017 Author Posted March 30, 2017 Wow I didn't realized i have been so hesitant about this guy along the way...maybe this is a sign that I don't pick up...
stillafool Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 What is the problem again? Normally women come here and complain that the guy only wanted them for sex. This guy is taking his time, treating you decent and you have a problem with it? 20
coolheadal Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Met this guy online. Super nice. Had a good time hanging out. On our 4th date, we were making out heavily and somehow he asked me what I think of him. I said I feel comfortable with him and I want to know him more. Then he just stopped making out at that moment saying sth like 'I shouldn't do this rn let's know each other more'. He didn't stay over. We then were supposed to hang out the following Friday but he didn't confirm and when I asked he said he had allergies so he felt tired. I was honestly very pissed so I let him know. I showed my friend our convo and all of them said he sounds very sincere tho yet I came in too strong. On a weekday we met again and he sent me home and we just made out a bit and he wanted to leave. Honestly I feel very confused. I am on the fence to whether drop him or drag along but date others at the same time. Thoughts? So you have a nice guy. Why not wait it out. Sex has to be 100%. When he's ready he do it. Why be like everyone else rushing into sex. You two are strangers still. If you don't like him then bail out, but your making a huge mistake with this guy. You care about him. 3
Author mushroomlol Posted March 30, 2017 Author Posted March 30, 2017 What is the problem again? Normally women come here and complain that the guy only wanted them for sex. This guy is taking his time, treating you decent and you have a problem with it? I know I know. If he already had sex with me I will be like 'why did he have sex with me so soon'. And now I am like 'why there is no sex'. I guess my problem is I just don't know if he likes me? Maybe I equate sex with love. I have little dating experience. The previous guys I am with always rushed to sex. Though I don't like it maybe in my mind that's the norm. 2
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Met this guy online. Super nice. Had a good time hanging out. On our 4th date, we were making out heavily and somehow he asked me what I think of him. I said I feel comfortable with him and I want to know him more. Then he just stopped making out at that moment saying sth like 'I shouldn't do this rn let's know each other more'. He didn't stay over. We then were supposed to hang out the following Friday but he didn't confirm and when I asked he said he had allergies so he felt tired. I was honestly very pissed so I let him know. I showed my friend our convo and all of them said he sounds very sincere tho yet I came in too strong. On a weekday we met again and he sent me home and we just made out a bit and he wanted to leave. Honestly I feel very confused. I am on the fence to whether drop him or drag along but date others at the same time. Thoughts? depends on what you want. do you want to drop him for not getting in them drawls? or do you want to drop him because you believe he is not interested. if all you want is to give up the nookie. then tell him and see how he responds. if he turn you down well then you got your answer. now if your not sure if he is interested I would just cool it and wait and see if he continues to contact you and set up more dates. let things organically happen. he just maybe the type to do the deed within an exclusive relationship. he may not want to be treated as just a meat stick ya know? and if you can respect that then just have a wait and see attitude. if he stops contacting and setting dates then you have your answer on the not interested thing. if your not down for sexlusivity then be upfront. 1
Redhead14 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 By now, you two should have had some conversation about dating goals/objectives, attitudes about sex, etc. If you really like this guy, this is one situation where it might be worth it to stick it out for a little while and let things develop. Sit back, let him do most of the initiating and breathe. This guy is not after just sex, so what's the harm in taking a wait and see attitude? Have a casual conversation about each of your dating goals overall and make sure you're on the same page there at least. 5
Jj66 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 In a previous life I used ending makeout sessions and saying I better go as a way to get them more firmly on the hook emotionally before we had sex. They'd almost always fall hopelessly infatuated. Yes, it's horrible, but I consciously thought about the manipulation I was doing. By delaying my gratification for a few dates I could get a steady supply of regular sex with almost no work until her infatuation fizzled in a couple to three months. This seemed easier than frequently trying to find a new partner. I'm a lot more mature now and never engage in conscious manipulation anymore. 1
Simple Logic Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Met this guy online. Super nice. Had a good time hanging out. On our 4th date, we were making out heavily and somehow he asked me what I think of him. I said I feel comfortable with him and I want to know him more. Then he just stopped making out at that moment saying sth like 'I shouldn't do this rn let's know each other more'. He didn't stay over. We then were supposed to hang out the following Friday but he didn't confirm and when I asked he said he had allergies so he felt tired. I was honestly very pissed so I let him know. I showed my friend our convo and all of them said he sounds very sincere tho yet I came in too strong. On a weekday we met again and he sent me home and we just made out a bit and he wanted to leave. Honestly I feel very confused. I am on the fence to whether drop him or drag along but date others at the same time. Thoughts? Honestly, this guy sounds a bit strange. I would would not put all my eggs in one basket. 3
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 He felt he got shot down when you told him you were "comfortable" and wanted to get to know him more.....that's not what he wanted to hear. That's my take on it....what guy would stop making out unless he got put off. I don't think he was "respecting" you, he's being a weenie. BUT what was stopping YOU from telling him that you didn't want to stop "this".....should have grabbed him back, and he would have been yours. Clear concise communication folks! 5
curiouslysearching Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Smackie you sure know how to put the SMACK down on most subjects at hand.... 2
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 I kick them in the nutz first, then ask questions later lol 1
Author mushroomlol Posted March 30, 2017 Author Posted March 30, 2017 By now, you two should have had some conversation about dating goals/objectives, attitudes about sex, etc. If you really like this guy, this is one situation where it might be worth it to stick it out for a little while and let things develop. Sit back, let him do most of the initiating and breathe. This guy is not after just sex, so what's the harm in taking a wait and see attitude? Have a casual conversation about each of your dating goals overall and make sure you're on the same page there at least. I think why I am hesitant is that I am not sure if he likes me. And I am not sure if I like him that much. 1
Author mushroomlol Posted March 30, 2017 Author Posted March 30, 2017 He felt he got shot down when you told him you were "comfortable" and wanted to get to know him more.....that's not what he wanted to hear. That's my take on it....what guy would stop making out unless he got put off. I don't think he was "respecting" you, he's being a weenie. BUT what was stopping YOU from telling him that you didn't want to stop "this".....should have grabbed him back, and he would have been yours. Clear concise communication folks! Well but after that I kept making out with him and he stayed for another few hours before he went. His action seems strange. Like he would not stay because he said he was tired then after he got home he would say 'I wish I stayed'. Yea there's that time he said he was tired so we can't hang out but then later he texted me saying he wish he hung out with me. It's almost like he said one thing and he did another. And I told him this. 1
Author mushroomlol Posted March 30, 2017 Author Posted March 30, 2017 In a previous life I used ending makeout sessions and saying I better go as a way to get them more firmly on the hook emotionally before we had sex. They'd almost always fall hopelessly infatuated. Yes, it's horrible, but I consciously thought about the manipulation I was doing. By delaying my gratification for a few dates I could get a steady supply of regular sex with almost no work until her infatuation fizzled in a couple to three months. This seemed easier than frequently trying to find a new partner. I'm a lot more mature now and never engage in conscious manipulation anymore. You think he's being manipulating?
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Listen, do you like him? Do you enjoy his company? Does he treat you well or better than most? Do you want to continue seeing him? If yes, then RELAX. I mean, how jaded have we become as a society where a man who takes his time with sex is seen as weird or as someone who has some twisted agenda rather than see it as something more positive? Geez. No one here can know for certain what his motivation is for delaying or waiting for sex, only he does. Given how many women come on here to complain about how single-minded men can be when it comes to sex, this should be seen as refreshing rather than something to fear or question especially if he seems genuine and treats you well. Besides, let's not forget...it's only date 5 for heaven's sake! Stop overthinking things and just enjoy it until there is good reason to think otherwise. Good luck. 9
BlueIvy Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 I think why I am hesitant is that I am not sure if he likes me. And I am not sure if I like him that much. And you have your answer, let it go. It's either you like someone or you don't.
Redhead14 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 So, basically, you won't like him unless he likes you? Get out of his head and into yours. Either you like him or you don't and let him show you where he's at. If you don't like him enough, you move on for yourself. You've kinda got a "holy grail" going on here -- a guy who wants to spend time with you without sex so far. If you're looking for him to make a move sexually as validation of his interest/whether he likes you or not, that's a problem you need to look into yourself about. 3
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 His actions don't match his words? Enough with the confusion....Get out now.
Author mushroomlol Posted March 30, 2017 Author Posted March 30, 2017 Oh but last night when we were at the bar he picked up a call from one of his close girl friends when I was talking. He didn't mention he was on a date and said he would call her later. 1
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Oh but last night when we were at the bar he picked up a call from one of his close girl friends when I was talking. He didn't mention he was on a date and said he would call her later. Hello...................dump this chump. 5
curiouslysearching Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Hello...................dump this chump. OMG....Smackie, you made me spit out my water when I read DUMP THIS CHUMP...that was good 1
Dis Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Oh but last night when we were at the bar he picked up a call from one of his close girl friends when I was talking. He didn't mention he was on a date and said he would call her later. Uh uh!!! I think this guy is smarter than you gave him credit for Waiting for sex is his game Run! 1
Shining One Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Oh but last night when we were at the bar he picked up a call from one of his close girl friends when I was talking. He didn't mention he was on a date and said he would call her later.Genuinely curious here. Is this a bad sign? As far as I can recall, women I've been on dates with who answered the phone during the date never told the person on the other end that they were on a date. It was always: "I'm out to dinner" or "I'm at the movies" or something along those lines. 3
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