foofightingguy Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 (edited) Just wanted to write, as it has become therapeutic for me. This is more about my acceptance stage, and I'm a horrible writer but here goes. With the mounting number of meaningless arguments, unhappy incidents in the past, comfortable yet a stable life style becoming dull, she thought to herself, is this it? Is this all there is of life to offer her? Why can't he be more emotionally stable when they fight? Why can't he be more careful about his jokes and words sometimes? Why had this gone on so long with little changes in between? Yes, he is slowly getting better at it, but he still doesn't understand what she needs exactly. Her life is not where she wants it to be right now, she wants more, even not yet knowing what MORE means. He is a loving and caring boyfriend, but she wants more. Without fighting, she felt maybe it's better to work on it alone, she could concentrate, she could focus, at least until things start to fall together she thought. She missed him, all the fun times, all the memories, and all the texting to keep the mundane days going by without noticing. He kept bringing up about getting back together, he was impatient at times, and he was emotional at times. More often than not when they meet, he would mention about the relationship, she began to not wanting to meet anymore because she's not ready to talk about relationships. It became a bit annoying to her. Entrepreneur is a difficult business, hard to come up with a money-making idea, and requires a lot of funding up front. Having worked at her parents' restaurant for almost a year with no end in sight and the pressure from her father to make something of herself, she decided to go back to what she originally dreamed, which is to pursuit the NGO path again. This path will allow her to travel the world, to see and explore, given her diversity, it seemed the perfect fit. She went out, had fun, tried to meet as many people as possible to network and broaden her horizons. Maybe something, or someone, can somehow guide her, hint her, offer her, introduce her, connect her, to the life that she wanted. A life that is full of excitements and laughters, full of easy fun and hard challenges, and just maybe, someone who can share that kind of life and grow together. She is scared but at the same time excited about the future, however unknown it may be. She moves from places to places, never staying in a particular one for long. Competition in the non-profit field is fierce, so many options and locations to apply for, and with some of them requiring a good degree of education certificates or connections, rejection is common. She went back home for a month with mom, to her home town, to her roots. To bask in the South American sunshine and nature. She loved it as she loves nature. She put on the gifts that he gave her for a while, with no contact with him, she thought about the good and fun years they have had together. Later, she can have all that later, may it be with him again or someone else, after she has clearly found a path to follow. She had to telll him that there is no return, she needs to and forces herself to move on. It's the best chance of getting what she dreamed of. She was sad that she broke his heart, she cried, she thought about him, she checked up on what he has been doing. But she will not contact him because it will only make the emotions come back and rock her decision she made again. She will not allow that, therefore she will just look at him from afar. A great guy that's not right for now. Edited March 30, 2017 by foofightingguy 3
EmilyJane Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 Yes. But there's also the bit where she carries the love you gave her with her. And the subconcious belief you might be together again in the distant future Because that is the only way you can leave someone you love because you haven't another choice. You hold on to "one day".
Author foofightingguy Posted March 31, 2017 Author Posted March 31, 2017 Yes. But there's also the bit where she carries the love you gave her with her. And the subconcious belief you might be together again in the distant future Because that is the only way you can leave someone you love because you haven't another choice. You hold on to "one day". Trying my very best to not think about "one day" while I move on. I'd be lying if I say I don't have that thought in the back of my head. Let go with love, for now. 1
EmilyJane Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 Trying my very best to not think about "one day" while I move on. I'd be lying if I say I don't have that thought in the back of my head. Let go with love, for now. As would I I'm pretty sure it amounts to the same thing in the end anyway. You go through all the motions and healthy moving on steps and eventually they will result in actually moving on
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