KBob Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I just hired a cleaning lady to come in every 2-3 weeks to clean my place, since I'm starting to renovate my basement and would rather spend my time doing that instead of paying other people to complete the renovations for me. I found an add for a woman on buy & sell that is in my area so I had her come to my place and clean a few days ago. Lone behold she's actually pretty damn good looking, a few years younger than me and we seem to have a ton in common! I ended up chatting with her for quite a while and there seemed to be a good dynamic during the conversation, and she was a bit bashful during times that could be viewed as flirting, but I didn't come on too strong. I'm thinking the next time I have her over to clean my place and if the dynamic is still there, I might try and ask her out. BUT what I'm wondering is would it be creepy to ask while she's in my house? I feel like it's a bit of a trapped situation for her if I'm wrong and she isn't interested in me. Might be a bit awkward. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
selinaluv Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I could see why you would think asking her in your house may make her feel "trapped" about it. Do you have her phone number? Maybe in your next conversation try and find some common interest, then call her about doing something casual that involves that interest. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Next time she comes there just hand her a French Maid outfit and say, "here, put this on." 8 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Hum. On one had, in a sense you are her "boss" and she may feel obligated if she needs the work / to keep you as a client. If she wants to say no, it might make future jobs akward. So if you did ask her out, I think it should some how be framed in a way you would make it clear that a no answer wouldn't change your business arrangement. And if you DO want to ask her out while she is at your house - perhaps do it as she is getting ready to leave so she has an out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Next time she comes there just hand her a French Maid outfit and say, "here, put this on." She's already wearing one...that's why he's attracted! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Yeah I would steer clear because you are like her boss. Not that it wouldn't work out, it's just not a chance I think is worth it Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I would tread extremely carefully with this one. This is not the same at all as for instance asking out a subordinate or a co-worker in a normal working environment where other people are about. This is one person working pretty damn personally for you within your home. Once she knows you are attracted and if she is not interested her knowing of your attraction will always enter her mind when she works for you. I think that is a heck of a lot of pressure to put on someone and she, working alone in your home environment may never feel comfortable working for you each and every visit. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Do s she get a break ? Ask her to go get tea or something seasonal on her break then ask out If she says no and it gets awkward you can always hire someone else hahaa next time hire a dude hahaha so there's no attraction Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I just hired a cleaning lady to come in every 2-3 weeks to clean my place, since I'm starting to renovate my basement and would rather spend my time doing that instead of paying other people to complete the renovations for me. I found an add for a woman on buy & sell that is in my area so I had her come to my place and clean a few days ago. Lone behold she's actually pretty damn good looking, a few years younger than me and we seem to have a ton in common! I ended up chatting with her for quite a while and there seemed to be a good dynamic during the conversation, and she was a bit bashful during times that could be viewed as flirting, but I didn't come on too strong. I'm thinking the next time I have her over to clean my place and if the dynamic is still there, I might try and ask her out. BUT what I'm wondering is would it be creepy to ask while she's in my house? I feel like it's a bit of a trapped situation for her if I'm wrong and she isn't interested in me. Might be a bit awkward. Thoughts? You need to know if she is seeing someone? You have to get into her face and ask her hey how I am sure your boyfriend has plans for taking you out this weekend to see (concert, new movie playing at the theater, dinner event etc.) You fill in the blanks. You need to know she's a mom and supporting kids if she is doing what in her life. Again with these sort of women they're to clean and nothing else. You might feel otherwise but just be care. Tread lightly in this area. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 (edited) I just hired a cleaning lady to come in every 2-3 weeks to clean my place, since I'm starting to renovate my basement and would rather spend my time doing that instead of paying other people to complete the renovations for me. I found an add for a woman on buy & sell that is in my area so I had her come to my place and clean a few days ago. Lone behold she's actually pretty damn good looking, a few years younger than me and we seem to have a ton in common! I ended up chatting with her for quite a while and there seemed to be a good dynamic during the conversation, and she was a bit bashful during times that could be viewed as flirting, but I didn't come on too strong. I'm thinking the next time I have her over to clean my place and if the dynamic is still there, I might try and ask her out. BUT what I'm wondering is would it be creepy to ask while she's in my house? I feel like it's a bit of a trapped situation for her if I'm wrong and she isn't interested in me. Might be a bit awkward. Thoughts? You need to know if she is seeing someone? You have to get into her face and ask her "hey how I am sure your boyfriend has plans for taking you out this weekend to see (concert, new movie playing at the theater, dinner event etc.) You fill in the blanks. You need to know she's a mom and supporting kids if she is doing what in her life. Again with these sort of women they're to clean and nothing else. You might feel otherwise but just be careful. Tread lightly in this area. Make sure she's single Not seeing anyone Not engaged to be married Not married Married but interested (husband lurking around and kids too) Married and going through a divorce She might be interested in women only. etc.. Edited March 30, 2017 by coolheadal Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 It would be horribly unfair to her for you to make a move on her, she is cleaning your house for money to pay her bills. If she wasn't interested then she would have to stop cleaning your house because it will be too awkward. The only thing you could do is let her know you are single and if she decided to hit you up she could.... other than that just let her clean your house. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIvy Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Like others said, be careful. I wouldn't ask her out next time. I would just continue talking to her and see if she is actually interested and available. Once you figure that out, then you can ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I wouldn't ask her out while she's in your home. She may agree just because you're paying for a service, and you are her "boss." An attractive woman in a man's home, and the man is making the moves - like what does he want? Cleaning with a happy ending?? It doesn't sit well. I think the best approach would be just to continue being friendly and if things blossom, you may ask if you can call her later in the evening. You're smitten. In two or three more cleaning sessions, you might not be as attracted. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 ah man I am trying to imagine if my boss wanted to date me. I mean if hes cute id be flatter, maybe, interested, and worried. if hes not id be creeped out and worried. if I were you I would hold off. I would wait till she is no longer working for you then ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
CloudyHead Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Never put your pecker in the payroll. Either let her go then ask her out or keep her cleaning and don't ask her out. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Never put your pecker in the payroll. Either let her go then ask her out or keep her cleaning and don't ask her out. lokey that would piss me off. you going to fire me then ask me out? um I got bills to pay mofo heck no you not getting this number now! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 How long is your renovation project? I assume it won't be too long?? Perhaps you can keep getting to know her (and be a little playful ) while she's still your cleaning lady. If you're still attracted to her toward the end of her service, you can give her a small gift and offer to take her out to thank her, and go from there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author KBob Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 Never put your pecker in the payroll. Either let her go then ask her out or keep her cleaning and don't ask her out. Would you go out with someone that just fired you? I wouldn't. I think the general consensus here is that my worries of it being weird asking her out in my home are justified. I think I'll probably play it slow and just build it up by chatting with her and being my usual charming self when she's around, and when I feel the time is right I'll give her a call or initiate some kind of text conversation from some common interest of ours. If she says no, I'll emphasise that it's not a big deal and I won't let it affect her continuing to work for me. I'm not worried about the working relationship, because this isn't a conventional working relationship, she comes to my house and cleans. Beyond me telling her about something out of the ordinary I need cleaned, I don't order her around, she just does her thing. And besides, if it did get weird, I know she's not hurting for work and wouldn't need mine; she told me she's had one day off in the past month, so she's doing pretty well. If I have to hire another cleaning lady that wouldn't be a problem either, there's a ton of them out there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KBob Posted March 30, 2017 Author Share Posted March 30, 2017 How long is your renovation project? I assume it won't be too long?? Perhaps you can keep getting to know her (and be a little playful ) while she's still your cleaning lady. If you're still attracted to her toward the end of her service, you can give her a small gift and offer to take her out to thank her, and go from there... It will be a few months, but I'm going for shoulder surgery in June so I'll most likely be keeping her around for a while after that. And then after that I'm thinking it would be a hard sell to return to having to clean my house myself again.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Would you go out with someone that just fired you? I wouldn't. I think the general consensus here is that my worries of it being weird asking her out in my home are justified. I think I'll probably play it slow and just build it up by chatting with her and being my usual charming self when she's around, and when I feel the time is right I'll give her a call or initiate some kind of text conversation from some common interest of ours. If she says no, I'll emphasise that it's not a big deal and I won't let it affect her continuing to work for me. I'm not worried about the working relationship, because this isn't a conventional working relationship, she comes to my house and cleans. Beyond me telling her about something out of the ordinary I need cleaned, I don't order her around, she just does her thing. And besides, if it did get weird, I know she's not hurting for work and wouldn't need mine; she told me she's had one day off in the past month, so she's doing pretty well. If I have to hire another cleaning lady that wouldn't be a problem either, there's a ton of them out there. Yeah, your professional/business relationship with her is very casual. Unlike hiring someone from a cleaning company, I assume you guys just rely on informal verbal agreement and don't sign a contract or anything. So saying her getting "fired" by you is a bit much. I'm sure many of her jobs are very short-term in nature, and she certainly wouldn't expect you to give her job security 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 You are putting her in an awkward spot asking her out....she will feel if she says no she will lose the gig. IMO in these kind of situations you should spend a little more time finding out more about her. Maybe make her some lunch while she's there so that would give you an honest opportunity to chat. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Call her sometime. Tell her, Look, I don't want to make you feel awkward, and if you say no, that will be the last time I bring it up. I don't know if you're already seeing someone, but if you're not, I'd love to take you on a date." If she says she's seeing someone or any excuse, just be good natured and say, "Well, I just had to ask. I'll see you next week at the usual time. " 1 Link to post Share on other sites
curiouslysearching Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 I just hired a cleaning lady to come in every 2-3 weeks to clean my place, since I'm starting to renovate my basement and would rather spend my time doing that instead of paying other people to complete the renovations for me. I found an add for a woman on buy & sell that is in my area so I had her come to my place and clean a few days ago. Lone behold she's actually pretty damn good looking, a few years younger than me and we seem to have a ton in common! I ended up chatting with her for quite a while and there seemed to be a good dynamic during the conversation, and she was a bit bashful during times that could be viewed as flirting, but I didn't come on too strong. I'm thinking the next time I have her over to clean my place and if the dynamic is still there, I might try and ask her out. BUT what I'm wondering is would it be creepy to ask while she's in my house? I feel like it's a bit of a trapped situation for her if I'm wrong and she isn't interested in me. Might be a bit awkward. Thoughts? She does not remotely sound like or resemble my cleaning lady....LOL Having said that, you are going to put her in a very awkward position if things don't go great.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Joga_31 Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 I just hired a cleaning lady to come in every 2-3 weeks to clean my place, since I'm starting to renovate my basement and would rather spend my time doing that instead of paying other people to complete the renovations for me. I found an add for a woman on buy & sell that is in my area so I had her come to my place and clean a few days ago. Lone behold she's actually pretty damn good looking, a few years younger than me and we seem to have a ton in common! I ended up chatting with her for quite a while and there seemed to be a good dynamic during the conversation, and she was a bit bashful during times that could be viewed as flirting, but I didn't come on too strong. I'm thinking the next time I have her over to clean my place and if the dynamic is still there, I might try and ask her out. BUT what I'm wondering is would it be creepy to ask while she's in my house? I feel like it's a bit of a trapped situation for her if I'm wrong and she isn't interested in me. Might be a bit awkward. Thoughts? hahaha you beast I would definitely ask her out and give her a kiss and see what happens from there. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 hahaha you beast I would definitely ask her out and give her a kiss and see what happens from there. Really? This lady is just cleaning OP's house as a job. Therefore normal employment etiquette applies. You do not overstep the personal boundary. You do not get to kiss a woman just because she's in your home. That's classed as sexual assault. The fact you even suggest that makes me fume. Just because a woman is in your home for whatever reason does not make her fair game. Have some damn respect.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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