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FB makes me realize what a social failure I am...

Springsummer

By Springsummer
in General Relationship Discussion

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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I max got a handful of likes for my posts, while some people almost got 3 digits.

 

I don't really dare to post or change of my profile pic anymore...how embarrassing it's to do that only receive none or a couple of likes.

Jj66 Established Member

Jj66

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I saw a great sign in a gift shop last month:

 

May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.

  • Like 11
TheTraveler Established Member

TheTraveler

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I max got a handful of likes for my posts, while some people almost got 3 digits.

 

I don't really dare to post or change of my profile pic anymore...how embarrassing it's to do that only receive none or a couple of likes.

 

You can change your facebook profile picture. Immediately after posting, lock it to "only me" which doesn't allow people to like/comment, and you can hide it from your timeline

 

Happy facebooking :p

Purepony Established Member

Purepony

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How about you deactivate Facebook and enjoy life ?

 

Just a thought

  • Like 3
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I saw a great sign in a gift shop last month:

 

May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.

 

Eh, I never saw it like that. People that posted they got engaged really did. People that posted their wedding pics really did get married. People that posted travel pics really travelled.

 

Of course you are not going to post "Lying on the couch watching Netflix" or "I just got dumped". In fact people that do post stuff like that get accused of playing the victim or being too negative. You can't win :rolleyes:

 

I never understood the issue people have with social media.

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Jj66 Established Member

Jj66

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I don't post much at all but when I do I often post related to my vacation travels. I get comments such as, do you ever work?

 

Of course I work. I just don't post about it.

 

Facebook is a great way to keep up with long distance relatives and friends but it is also a place for narcissists to have shallow relationships with other narcissists.

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somanymistakes Established Member

somanymistakes

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I max got a handful of likes for my posts, while some people almost got 3 digits.

 

I don't really dare to post or change of my profile pic anymore...how embarrassing it's to do that only receive none or a couple of likes.

 

Don't worry about it! Some people are more aggressive about FB-friending everyone under the sun, even random strangers they meet on the streets (seriously) ... that doesn't mean all those people are really their friends. And some people's followers are super-like-happy, more than others.

 

And you do get likes!

 

Don't see it as a competition, or you will ALWAYS lose beacuse there is always someone more popular in the world.

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Midwestmissy Established Member

Midwestmissy

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It takes a millisecond to hit the like button. It's meaningless. It's not true validation, and checking how many likes you have is bad for your self esteem. I have a teenage daughter and we talk about this a lot. Fact is, when you have 300 people clicking "like", does it mean they would all drop everything to help you at 3am? Nope. You really just need one or two people in your life for that, and maybe they gave better things to do than look at social media. Concern yourself with the one or two true blues in your life.

 

Facebook is not a reflection of your worth, not by any measure at all.

  • Like 5
clia Established Member

clia

Posted
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I max got a handful of likes for my posts, while some people almost got 3 digits.

 

I don't really dare to post or change of my profile pic anymore...how embarrassing it's to do that only receive none or a couple of likes.

 

How many friends do you have on Facebook compared to those people? (Someone with 200 friends is going to get way fewer "likes" than someone with 2000 friends.)

 

Are your friends mostly people you know personally? (I'm more likely to "like" my good friends' posts than to an acquaintance or someone I don't know as well.)

 

Are your posts interesting? Are you at a cool place or doing cool things or are you posting about running to the grocery store? (I'm more likely to "like" things like vacation photos, wedding photos, photos at concerts or sporting events, etc. than the normal day to day stuff.)

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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I max got a handful of likes for my posts, while some people almost got 3 digits.

 

I don't really dare to post or change of my profile pic anymore...how embarrassing it's to do that only receive none or a couple of likes.

 

If your source of validation comes from FB and other external factors, you have a more serious problem than lack of social media interaction.

 

The people who get all those "likes" etc. have an active and fulfilling life outside in the real world. Worry about/work on that.

 

Don't live your life vicariously through social media venues . . . live a rich, fulfilling, active life IRL.

hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

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I've noticed that the people who get the most "likes" are those who friend a LOT of people and are always on FB liking and commenting on other people's posts. They are not better than you in any way.

  • Like 3
Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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I didn't get to finish my post :) . . .

 

I know that all this is the point of your thread but I'm just reinforcing it all. FB is really meaningless and is not a measure of a person at all. I get "likes" on some of my posts from people I know aren't my friends or don't care about me, they just happen to like what's there. I also get likes from people I don't even know . . . so what?

  • Like 1
whichwayisup Established Member

whichwayisup

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I max got a handful of likes for my posts, while some people almost got 3 digits.

 

I don't really dare to post or change of my profile pic anymore...how embarrassing it's to do that only receive none or a couple of likes.

 

And those likes - People who are in your daily life offline? Friends that you see and get together with? Or are they just fb buddies and people you don't see or talk to often.

 

Don't get wrapped up in the dynamics of facebook. Especially if it's starting to make you feel bad. Focus on people you interact with offline, those who are your true friends.

jenkins95 Established Member

jenkins95

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Facebook is a great way to keep up with long distance relatives and friends but it is also a place for narcissists to have shallow relationships with other narcissists.

 

Absolutely right!

 

I tried Facebook and lasted about two weeks. It just seemed like such shallow, benign, self-serving bull****.

 

I don't care what my uncle Dave had for lunch. I don't care that my wife's boss's wife is enjoying her third glass of sangria on a beach in Majorca. I don't care that my auntie's sister-in-law's son got a C in his chemistry test. And a friend request from my brother's next door neighbours daughter who thinks she may have once met me at a wedding? Ummm - maybe not, but thanks for the gesture!

 

A couple of weeks was enough for me - it just had me reaching for the sick bag - perhaps it's partly my age? i do agree that it has it's place. My wife uses it to keep in touch with relatives who live far away.

 

The OP also highlights another very important issue - cyber bullying is rife these days and FB is the ideal place to do it. Personally i wouldn't give two hoots if no one 'likes' my post or, for that matter if 10000 people like it - in fact the very idea makes me laugh. But again, this reflects my age. I am not a vulnerable young teenager and i know that this can be a very serious issue. Exclusion, ridicule and negative comments can make people's lives a misery - and people can now be bullied without leaving their own homes​. My own 12 year old neice was in tears the other week because her friends didn't 'like' her birthday pictures on FB, whereas another (considered much cooler) girl had 100s of likes for a similar picture. This is very seriously hurtful for someone of that age.

 

My advice - rely less on computers - they have their place, but they shouldn't be the be all and end all that people rely on for their social life. Get out and get some fresh air and interact with real flesh and blood friends. You know if they 'like' you or not just by how they are with you, not whether they click a little button or not!

 

Anyway rant over.... Got to dash, need to update my status, and 'like' my brother in law's photo of his prize winning 12 foot marrow ;)

Edited by jenkins95
bluefeather Established Member

bluefeather

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How sad is the social media generation if they think things like that. Please close down your facebook and take a walk somewhere without staring at your phone like a zombie.

 

eff, eff, eff facebook

BadFrequency Member

BadFrequency

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I liked myspace better. I only had around 56 "friends" on there, of which 45 were bands.

 

As long as "1" is a real person you actually call txt and can see, u good.

 

And even if you don't got that, I dunno. "Cat pics".

BikerAccnt Established Member

BikerAccnt

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Eh, I never saw it like that. People that posted they got engaged really did. People that posted their wedding pics really did get married. People that posted travel pics really travelled.

 

Of course you are not going to post "Lying on the couch watching Netflix" or "I just got dumped". In fact people that do post stuff like that get accused of playing the victim or being too negative. You can't win :rolleyes:

 

.

 

Social media is no different than real life in that regard. I mean, you're walking down the hall at the office, in passing you ask, "How are you?" Do you really want them to stop and unload all their problems on you? Probably not, but you'd be more than happy to hear they got engaged.

 

And..everyone is a victim these days, don't you know that yet :)

  • Like 2
Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I just remembered this thread when I saw my aunt's post this morning. Something along the lines: "my parents are dead and they the only people that truly loved me. My children ignore me, my grandchildren only ask for money and my husband is a drunk who cheated on me more times than I can count. I'm all alone in this world."

 

So cue in a bunch of her friends "I love you xox". Is that really what people would prefer to see? I personally don't.

  • Like 1
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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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I just remembered this thread when I saw my aunt's post this morning. Something along the lines: "my parents are dead and they the only people that truly loved me. My children ignore me, my grandchildren only ask for money and my husband is a drunk who cheated on me more times than I can count. I'm all alone in this world."

 

So cue in a bunch of her friends "I love you xox". Is that really what people would prefer to see? I personally don't.

 

Your aunt is someone who wear her heart on her sleeves. I was that kind of person who lack of social intelligent. Now I learnt and am a bit smarter.

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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Thank you so much folks! Very much appreciate your opinions! That help a lot!

I love this forum. :)

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