cookies Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 I'm just wondering what you guys might do in this situation. I had been with my girlfriend for 2 years and we had a great relationship. She went overseas for about 6 months to study and we stayed together during that time, but towards the end we broke up because she said she just needed a break to find herself or whatever. I don't really take having a break as having a break, so I try not to expect anything. Anyway, we still remain friends because before out relationship she was a good friend and we both share our closest friends, so it's not exactly easy to just do the no contact thing because that would mean no contact with alot of my friends too. I never really wanted to lose her as a friend anyway. Just after she said she wanted a break I tried not to contact her for the rest of the time she was away, which was a month or so. I think I did well during that time, trying to keep my mind off the situation with other things. Anyway, she only just arrived back from her 6 month trip and it's been quite hard being around her. Most of all I think because I still have very strong feelings for her. I haven't lost the love I had for her. I try to just be friends with her whilst she's around, alot like we used to be, but it just feels that I am ignoring her on purpose or dumbing down how I feel towards her so it doesn't come across as anything more than friends or give away how I still feel. Sometimes turning that feeling into hate just to justify why I shouldn't feel more toward her. She has been extremely friendly with all our other friends since being back, mostly I guess because she never spoke to them alot whilst away and their all catching up on things. It often makes me feel quite sick when she talks about her stories during her time away with everyone because that time just reminds me of how hard it was for me. It also makes me feels like maybe I had just been taken for a ride or just the ignorant one in all of this. I think I get a little jealous sometimes. I don't know, I'm just a little confused. But she just drives me crazy and it eats away at me. I don't want to hate her, but I sometimes do over petty things that I know are not real or true. I just feel like maybe I've been played for a fool. What I'm not sure about is whether to say something to her. Whether or not to tell her how I feel. I don't want to make it easy for her to know that she can have me whenever she feels and I don't want to push her away further. I am quite sure that she cares for me alot as a friend, but I think that's all for now. It's just hard trying to be friends right now. I don't know...any advice?
fundamental Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 I am in the same situation as you, so the only thing I can say is distance yourself. This is what I am doing and I am a lot better. She is still contacting me and putting in effort to try to make a friendship work and I am not. Be friendly but try not to go out of your way for her. She knows you love her and she knows you care, so allow her to make the first move. She broke things off with you so let her take the risk (asking you out) and/or put in the effort to keep your attention. If she loves you she will eventually do what it takes to get you back.
cookies Posted July 28, 2005 Posted July 28, 2005 Yeah, I think I have come to the conclusion that I just have to try and get along as friends even though it will be hard and strong feelings will still be there. I can't lose my friends over this. I'll just have to accept it I think and not try too much to go out of my way for her as you said. I think down the track if the feelings are still there I should let her know, but not now. We'll see how things go in time. Right now though, it's a good time to work on myself as an individual! Here I come world...!!! *crash*
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