Author Rabbitman Posted April 1, 2017 Author Posted April 1, 2017 (edited) I don't see why she would be so mad at me for putting my arm around her if we really just were just friends. I tried explaining I really thought it was a date. Like she wouldn't talk/look at me for a bit regardless. Maybe I'm wrong here, but we were super close before that. Edited April 1, 2017 by Rabbitman
preraph Posted April 1, 2017 Posted April 1, 2017 Don't apologize for thinking this was a date. From what you first wrote, she knew you were asking her out but only hockey got her consent. So I guess that was a red flag, because if she was maybe into you, even coffee would have been acceptable, you know. Don't apologize or feel like you are the crazy one for not being psychic enough to read this dingbat's mind.
Author Rabbitman Posted April 2, 2017 Author Posted April 2, 2017 Don't apologize for thinking this was a date. From what you first wrote, she knew you were asking her out but only hockey got her consent. So I guess that was a red flag, because if she was maybe into you, even coffee would have been acceptable, you know. Don't apologize or feel like you are the crazy one for not being psychic enough to read this dingbat's mind. I actually think/thought I was going crazy. So thank you for that. 1
angel.eyes Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 ...After two hours of working on the assignment we leave. I was super anxious, and kinda nervous.. For some reason in my head I knew it was a date, but I wasn't 100, since we hadn't spoke about it in a long time. It was also my first date. A couple of things: First, you did the asking and you weren't even 100% sure it was a date! Yet she is somehow expected to know it's a date?!? If you don't want to waste your time, you're going to have to get comfortable being clear that you're asking someone on a date. There was nothing in your wordy descriptions that made it clear this was a date. When I was in college, what you described was simply two friends hanging out. It's on you as the person doing the asking to make it clear that the invite is a date. Otherwise, you will waste a lot of time hanging out with women who enjoy being your friend but have zero interest in dating you. Second, you asked her out for Valentine's Day. She declined and then went cold on you. That's someone who isn't interested in you romantically. When she thought you got the message, she became friendly again. You're a good person to be friends with and a great study partner, but you aren't the guy she wants to date. Unless you're happy just being her friend, focus your attention elsewhere. 1
Author Rabbitman Posted April 2, 2017 Author Posted April 2, 2017 A couple of things: First, you did the asking and you weren't even 100% sure it was a date! Yet she is somehow expected to know it's a date?!? If you don't want to waste your time, you're going to have to get comfortable being clear that you're asking someone on a date. There was nothing in your wordy descriptions that made it clear this was a date. When I was in college, what you described was simply two friends hanging out. It's on you as the person doing the asking to make it clear that the invite is a date. Otherwise, you will waste a lot of time hanging out with women who enjoy being your friend but have zero interest in dating you. Second, you asked her out for Valentine's Day. She declined and then went cold on you. That's someone who isn't interested in you romantically. When she thought you got the message, she became friendly again. You're a good person to be friends with and a great study partner, but you aren't the guy she wants to date. Unless you're happy just being her friend, focus your attention elsewhere. When I asked her out for Valentines she goes "Umm well I thought I was going to be drinking alone.." I cut her off and said no worries. She then asked me to come skiing with her and her friends. I said sure. I quit messaging her but she kept initiating contact for the next 3 days. She told me she wanted to say yes the following week. Confused the hell out of me.
angel.eyes Posted April 2, 2017 Posted April 2, 2017 Tagging along to ski with her friends is obviously not a date. That's hanging out with friends. She's making the boundaries of any potential relationship she has with you clear--it's a friendship, not a romantic relationship. Ditto for your attempts to get anything romantic going. You asked her out on Valentine's Day and she deflected...In other words, she declined. Not getting a "yes" is being told "no." When you started bugging her about the fact that your hockey hangout was a date, she made the comment that she didn't like you that way, told you she was seeing another guy and the outing was now making her uncomfortable, etc. In other words, she didn't want it to be a date. Arguing with her that she should have known it was a date when you yourself weren't even sure if it was, was beyond ludicrous. It also was just flushing away any chance of turning things around in your favor. What exactly were you hoping to accomplish by repeatedly calling her a liar? What was your end game exactly when you decided to take that tack? 1
Author Rabbitman Posted April 2, 2017 Author Posted April 2, 2017 Tagging along to ski with her friends is obviously not a date. That's hanging out with friends. She's making the boundaries of any potential relationship she has with you clear--it's a friendship, not a romantic relationship. Ditto for your attempts to get anything romantic going. You asked her out on Valentine's Day and she deflected...In other words, she declined. Not getting a "yes" is being told "no." When you started bugging her about the fact that your hockey hangout was a date, she made the comment that she didn't like you that way, told you she was seeing another guy and the outing was now making her uncomfortable, etc. In other words, she didn't want it to be a date. Arguing with her that she should have known it was a date when you yourself weren't even sure if it was, was beyond ludicrous. It also was just flushing away any chance of turning things around in your favor. What exactly were you hoping to accomplish by repeatedly calling her a liar? What was your end game exactly when you decided to take that tack? Part of it was the fact that I thought I mentioned date. Which is why I posted the convo here to see what you guys thought, if I was clear enough. Regardless she started sending me selfies pretty much everyday/little sexual memes/hearts. We talked none stop. She asked if I wanted to meetup two days ago since I had asked to explain some stuff. I won't lie I got a little upset when she kept making remarks about her friends opinions on the matter like they even knew anything. Which is part of the reason why I told her I don't think she is being 100% honest, and had to at least partially think it might be a date. She told me she had no idea. I wasn't an ass about it, even though she was towards me. She mentioned she thought I wasn't interested like that. I have told her in the past that I don't really like being friends with girls I find pretty. There's a lot more to the story I just couldn't write it all. I was clear I liked her even before all this. Anyways thanks for the input. Only person who really could know is her. I need a break from it all though.
Author Rabbitman Posted April 19, 2017 Author Posted April 19, 2017 Story: Girl was flirting through snapchat with sexual memes and little pictures. I decided to go for it and ask her out face to face. I caught her off guard and she said "well I thought I would be drinking alone", I just cut her off and told her not to worry. She started asking me to come snowboarding with her and stuff. She kept contacting me every day asking random school work questions. She also mentioned that we should just work on our assignment on the same laptop. I was assuming she wanted me kinda closer. Finally on valentines she told me she wished she accepted. Told her not to worry Id bring her somewhere. I didn't really make it clear I wanted it to be 100% a date as others have brought up. I just assumed. We kept talking with light flirting for the next month before I finally brought her out to a hockey game. (Mostly due to midterm exams, and march break). I always noticed whenever I would touch her back to say bye when I`d leave class she would always text me almost instantly after about the most random stuff. Right before the hockey game she asked if I wanted to meet up to study and we were sitting super close, her foot kept touching mine. I touched her hand asking why it was so red and she had trouble to speak for a second, and just said "blood". I also notice she kept looking at my mouth like she wanted to kiss or something, I don't know she just had that look. So we go to the game, I open the car door for her she says thank you. Shes talking the whole way up. When we get inside I buy myself a beer. I randomly tried to get her picture with me a few times. (No I didnt want to brag or post it anywhere) I was being stupid. I then put my hand around her like 30 minutes later. She told me she didn't like it. So the next day she seems super upset telling me she is seeing someone.. I say some stupid stuff about how I thought she knew and I couldn't read her. Two weeks later she lets me go for a walk and explain everything. (This is after I wrote some long lame letter where I exaggerated how much I really liked her. I scared her, and she didn't want to talk.) So apparently she had really just started seeing someone. (Maybe she was talking to us both trying to decide?) Because she never told me about this guy besides just calling him "her friend". She told me I needed to be more clear she didn't know it was a date. She said a few things, took back some stuff she sent me saying she sent it to like 10 people.. ect. She told me her friends asked her why she is talking to me, but she is anyways. Update on this: Stopped talking to her for 2 weeks. Randomly sent her a snapchat of me cooking. She sent one back. Slowly we started talking again. I did notice like a week ago she posted something on this anonymous school app about bad sex with a grilled cheese sandwich to make up for it. She had sent me the exact picture of the grilled cheese sandwich like 45 minutes before. She knows I use this app too. I sent a funny picture of some really pretty girl showing off her body in a bikini and she sent me all these random hearts and kept talking about how much a "beauty that ass is". Randomly she texted me the other day telling me the teacher put up some sample questions. It was random since we mainly have been barely talking on facebook only. We had started texting right before all this happend though. I saw her in class yesterday and she kept asking me questions and I notice she was actually looking me in the eye again, and even kinda holding contact when I'd look away. She wouldn't barely speak or look at me after all that happened. Does any of this mean anything or am I looking too far into it?
Recommended Posts