Guy says I'm too much because I want to see him more.. not sure if I should break up?

March 29, 2017

This is my online guy and I who I've been dating for a month. We established we are more than just friends and

So he never initiates things and I like him.

So on Friday I had a concert. I texted him like usual. I told him I was going to take a nap. I woke up and saw he was at a bar so I didn't want to bother him and I went straight to the concert. During its intermission I asked him what time is he going to sleep. He said soon. I told him I'm at my concert and it gets out late. I was going to call him after but I guess I'll talk to him tomorrow.

So I texted him in the afternoon the next day. I wanted to talk on the phone so when he got home we chatted a bit but he said he was tired because he came from his friends house and his moms. I playfully tried to get him to stay on the phone but he was sleepy and I ended the call. Next day he apologizes that he was sleepy. I apologized and said sorry for being pushy and I'm learning different personalities. He said it's ok it was cute. I kept the texting low and asked him what are we doing Friday. He ignores the message.

I'm getting a bit drained and upset because we barley talk on the phone and our main communication is texting. So I sent a polite message saying, I'm a planner, and I like to talk and see the people I enjoy being around. When he ignored the Friday message it makes me feel like I'm bothering him. Let me know if this is too much or he's not feeling me tonplease let me know.

He replies saying it's too much and that hes sorry for not replying to that specific text message. That he has a life and I ignored him on the concert day and also I went MIA for 4 hours( before I sent the text) so I was in no position to say he was ignoring me.

I got mad because I felt like my text was understanding and I just wanted to know. I told him I know he has a life that's why I try not to text so much and do little phone calls instead. Then I thought about it and said sorry for being too much and wanting to enjoy your company and talk to you. I'll just leave you alone.

He just replies saying, if you say so. Yeah ignore my text about where you've been for 4 hours too.

I'm concerned and I told him you saw my snap I just came from two different cities. He said yeah he doesn't like the double standard. It reminds him of his last relationship.

I'm even more confused and I'm like I told you how I feel. I'm not trying to leave and I just wanted to be open.

He says don't act like I don't have a reason to be tired - I work 40 hrs a week . He says I need to back up. I didn't text him for 4 hours so I'm in no position to say he's ignoring me. That I'm playing games.

I told him what? What can I do to fix this?

He says chill out. I told you multiple times we would do something Friday, (he didn't, I only brought it up that time because I'm always initiati) and he said you're the planner right? Then why am I under so much pressure?

I told him ok sorry? I don't want to make any enemies out here.

He says ok well he finished hanging out with his friends and he's heading home. Let's talk tomorrow if you're up for it.

Now I lost all attraction towards him to be honest and I don't think we would be a good pair relationship wise. Should I just tell him let's be friends? I highly doubt we can be friends with his attitude...

March 29, 2017

This is my online guy and I who I've been dating for a month. We established we are more than just friends and
So he never initiates things and I like him.
So on Friday I had a concert. I texted him like usual. I told him I was going to take a nap. I woke up and saw he was at a bar so I didn't want to bother him and I went straight to the concert. During its intermission I asked him what time is he going to sleep. He said soon. I told him I'm at my concert and it gets out late. I was going to call him after but I guess I'll talk to him tomorrow.
So I texted him in the afternoon the next day. I wanted to talk on the phone so when he got home we chatted a bit but he said he was tired because he came from his friends house and his moms. I playfully tried to get him to stay on the phone but he was sleepy and I ended the call. Next day he apologizes that he was sleepy. I apologized and said sorry for being pushy and I'm learning different personalities. He said it's ok it was cute. I kept the texting low and asked him what are we doing Friday. He ignores the message.

I'm getting a bit drained and upset because we barley talk on the phone and our main communication is texting. So I sent a polite message saying, I'm a planner, and I like to talk and see the people I enjoy being around. When he ignored the Friday message it makes me feel like I'm bothering him. Let me know if this is too much or he's not feeling me tonplease let me know.

He replies saying it's too much and that hes sorry for not replying to that specific text message. That he has a life and I ignored him on the concert day and also I went MIA for 4 hours( before I sent the text) so I was in no position to say he was ignoring me.

I got mad because I felt like my text was understanding and I just wanted to know. I told him I know he has a life that's why I try not to text so much and do little phone calls instead. Then I thought about it and said sorry for being too much and wanting to enjoy your company and talk to you. I'll just leave you alone.

He just replies saying, if you say so. Yeah ignore my text about where you've been for 4 hours too.

I'm concerned and I told him you saw my snap I just came from two different cities. He said yeah he doesn't like the double standard. It reminds him of his last relationship.

I'm even more confused and I'm like I told you how I feel. I'm not trying to leave and I just wanted to be open.

He says don't act like I don't have a reason to be tired - I work 40 hrs a week . He says I need to back up. I didn't text him for 4 hours so I'm in no position to say he's ignoring me. That I'm playing games.

I told him what? What can I do to fix this?

He says chill out. I told you multiple times we would do something Friday, (he didn't, I only brought it up that time because I'm always initiati) and he said you're the planner right? Then why am I under so much pressure?

I told him ok sorry? I don't want to make any enemies out here.

He says ok well he finished hanging out with his friends and he's heading home. Let's talk tomorrow if you're up for it.

Now I lost all attraction towards him to be honest and I don't think we would be a good pair relationship wise. Should I just tell him let's be friends? I highly doubt we can be friends with his attitude...

Move on. This guy isn't "into you" for anything more than booty. Just tell him you're moving on because you two are not on the same page.

It's only been a month and there's attitude all over the place. If you're not having a good time at one month, it's not going to get better. At one month, you should be observing and evaluating whether a dating partner is meeting your early dating needs naturally, without coaching/asking/telling, pulling on them, etc.

March 29, 2017

He's not in to you. If someone wants you in their life they will make every effort to put you there and keep you there. He's doing the bare minimum and then making it seem like it is all your fault. This is not how good relationships start. Move on, find someone who makes you a priority and is excited to see you, talk to you, spend time with you.

March 29, 2017

Move on. This guy isn't "into you" for anything more than booty. Just tell him you're moving on because you two are not on the same page.

It's only been a month and there's attitude all over the place. If you're not having a good time at one month, it's not going to get better. At one month, you should be observing and evaluating whether a dating partner is meeting your early dating needs naturally, without coaching/asking/telling, pulling on them, etc.

That's what I thought. When he doesnt invite me to anything and doesn't even want to meet me at least once a week strikes me as weird. I thought I was very nice with my text by allowing him to tell me the truth. I didn't care if he wasn't into me.. I would just want the truth. Always follow the gut feeling.

I should've known when he suggested going to s hotel twice and he's very touchy in person. He wouldn't go further if I didn't feel comfortable but I feel that was intention. He does text me everyday but that means nothing to me. I feel like I was doing all the chasing definitely.

March 29, 2017

He's not in to you. If someone wants you in their life they will make every effort to put you there and keep you there. He's doing the bare minimum and then making it seem like it is all your fault. This is not how good relationships start. Move on, find someone who makes you a priority and is excited to see you, talk to you, spend time with you.

Yeah that's what I thought. How should I tell him then?

He thinks I'm going to text him today.. and I don't like to play games and I like to keep my word. Should I say I don't think we are on the same page. Sorry for troubling you?

March 29, 2017

Now I lost all attraction towards him to be honest and I don't think we would be a good pair relationship wise. Should I just tell him let's be friends? I highly doubt we can be friends with his attitude...

If you feel that he isn't giving you what you desire then leave.

Go make real friends. He's a guy you dated for a month -- doesn't seem like he would be any type of friend, in the real sense.

Yeah that's what I thought. How should I tell him then? He thinks I'm going to text him today.. and I don't like to play games and I like to keep my word. Should I say I don't think we are on the same page. Sorry for troubling you?

Girl, you need to empower yourself. Sorry for troubling you?

You tell him, "This isn't working for me anymore. I believe it would be best for both of us to move on. Take care." Then be done. He doesn't need anymore than that.

You received good advice on your past thread about him when he brought up the hotel. Time to move on and stop placing any attention on how to appease him but to shut this down and move forward.

March 29, 2017

If you feel that he isn't giving you what you desire then leave.

Go make real friends. He's a guy you dated for a month -- doesn't seem like he would be any type of friend, in the real sense.

Girl, you need to empower yourself. Sorry for troubling you?

You tell him, "This isn't working for me anymore. I believe it would be best for both of us to move on. Take care." Then be done. He doesn't need anymore than that.

You received good advice on your past thread about him when he brought up the hotel. Time to move on and stop placing any attention on how to appease him but to shut this down and move forward.

Yeah, I think I'm holding on to benefit if he doubt. That he actually cares but he doesn't. I know it but I'm hoping.

Yeah, I should've known when I asked him what kind of future he's looking for and he said he doesn't know. Or he will sell weed. Or when he helped sell coke to friends.... he used to and still does sell coke. Idk why I'm staying but yeah I need to shut it down. I guess the I empathize because his father left him at a young age such as I? But that's not something to bond over. Also when he said as a joke I probably licked a lot of balls at a date? Or when he answered his phone call on the first meet up at the eating table. I really need to stop stepping over the red flags.

March 29, 2017

If you feel that he isn't giving you what you desire then leave.

Go make real friends. He's a guy you dated for a month -- doesn't seem like he would be any type of friend, in the real sense.

Girl, you need to empower yourself. Sorry for troubling you?

You tell him, "This isn't working for me anymore. I believe it would be best for both of us to move on. Take care." Then be done. He doesn't need anymore than that.

You received good advice on your past thread about him when he brought up the hotel. Time to move on and stop placing any attention on how to appease him but to shut this down and move forward.

I'm glad I didn't have sex with him.

I honestly don't even feel like texting him but because I keep my word I'll tell him it's not working for me. Should unblock his number too? The amount of disrespect he gave me was horrible as well.. he doesn't deserve to text me.

March 29, 2017

Yeah that's what I thought. How should I tell him then?
He thinks I'm going to text him today.. and I don't like to play games and I like to keep my word. Should I say I don't think we are on the same page. Sorry for troubling you?

Stop apologizing, you aren't troubling him. If it has only been a month (and less than 5 dates - no sex) there is nothing wrong with breaking up via text message.

I like the sandwich method for difficult news. Start with a compliment like "it was really nice getting to know you", then put the bad news, "but I don't think we are on the same page when it comes to dating/getting to know each other/relationship wise." Then something positive like "I wish you the best of luck in the future." You can do the same thing over the phone if you decide to call.

Be careful though, I'm getting the feeling he is a bencher - a guy who contacts you just enough to make it seem like he is interested, but rarely follows through with plans. When confronted he will deny it, but as soon as you attempt to cut him loose, he shows up to woo you back. Once you are hooked again, back to the bench you go until the next time. Guys like this are toxic. I may or may not currently have one of these that I keep around because it amuses me and my SO. I figure he deserves some frustration in his life after all the frustration he has caused me and countless other women. Don't judge me!!!

Good luck to you!

March 29, 2017

I think you're keeping too close track of him and that screams desperate. And he's not that into you.

March 29, 2017

I think you're keeping too close track of him and that screams desperate. And he's not that into you.

Actually I'm not?

He's the one that always initiates texts. HE texts me every morning and I just reply. Like I said I don't like texting to be my main communication form. I asked him before if he likes talking on the phone and he said yes.

I don't text him every hour. I have work and there are times I go 4-5 hours or I fall asleep. He doesn't initiate... I'm always asking to hangout because I want to see the person instead of texting. But he prefers having a text buddy and I don't like that.

March 29, 2017

Also when he said as a joke I probably licked a lot of balls at a date? Or when he answered his phone call on the first meet up at the eating table. I really need to stop stepping over the red flags.

Girl, pick up your self-respect and move on from this guy.

I'm not sure why you've gone this far with this nut and still waffling about him.

March 29, 2017

Stop apologizing, you aren't troubling him. If it has only been a month (and less than 5 dates - no sex) there is nothing wrong with breaking up via text message.

I like the sandwich method for difficult news. Start with a compliment like "it was really nice getting to know you", then put the bad news, "but I don't think we are on the same page when it comes to dating/getting to know each other/relationship wise." Then something positive like "I wish you the best of luck in the future." You can do the same thing over the phone if you decide to call.

Be careful though, I'm getting the feeling he is a bencher - a guy who contacts you just enough to make it seem like he is interested, but rarely follows through with plans. When confronted he will deny it, but as soon as you attempt to cut him loose, he shows up to woo you back. Once you are hooked again, back to the bench you go until the next time. Guys like this are toxic. I may or may not currently have one of these that I keep around because it amuses me and my SO. I figure he deserves some frustration in his life after all the frustration he has caused me and countless other women. Don't judge me!!!

Good luck to you!

I'll send something like that but he will just reply with something stupid like "ok" or "if you say so". Which is annoying. But I won't leave him hanging because I don't like ignoring people. Like I told him, I don't play games.

March 29, 2017

Girl, pick up your self-respect and move on from this guy.

I'm not sure why you've gone this far with this nut and still waffling about him.

I am moving on. I just sent him a text I don't think it's going to workout. He just replied with "ok" lol.

He doesn't care. He just wanted action. He sucks at kissing anyways...

we weren't even compatible at that. Oh well.

March 29, 2017

I am moving on. I just sent him a text I don't think it's going to workout. He just replied with "ok" lol.
He doesn't care. He just wanted action. He sucks at kissing anyways...
we weren't even compatible at that. Oh well.

The next time you see red flags, run. Don't stay hoping things will change or start making excuses for them.

March 29, 2017

Do not apologize. Keep your message short, light and simple. Considering his actions, I doubt he'll be crying over the break up. Move on!

March 29, 2017

OP, you need to set much higher standards for the guys you go out with. There were flapping red flags here.

Good for you for telling him it's not working out. It was obvious he wanted something a lot more casual than you. It's best to not keep trying to make something more happen in that case.

March 29, 2017

Actually I'm not?
He's the one that always initiates texts. HE texts me every morning and I just reply. Like I said I don't like texting to be my main communication form. I asked him before if he likes talking on the phone and he said yes.
I don't text him every hour. I have work and there are times I go 4-5 hours or I fall asleep. He doesn't initiate... I'm always asking to hangout because I want to see the person instead of texting. But he prefers having a text buddy and I don't like that.

Then don't do it. Tell him you don't.

March 29, 2017

OP, you need to set much higher standards for the guys you go out with. There were flapping red flags here.

Good for you for telling him it's not working out. It was obvious he wanted something a lot more casual than you. It's best to not keep trying to make something more happen in that case.

So he called me on his work break and told me some pointers about dating. He said he wanted to talk it out and get an understanding.... Now I'm a bit confused.

March 29, 2017

Sounds like he feels pressured and does not want to be bothered. I don't think this guy is relationship material for you.

March 29, 2017

So he called me on his work break and told me some pointers about dating. He said he wanted to talk it out and get an understanding.... Now I'm a bit confused.

What pointers did he give you?

March 29, 2017

Like I said, he can't handle it and now is trying to weasel his way back in. He's not even doing it nicely, he's acting like you did something wrong. You did not. He is trying to manipulate you. Please don't fall for it. Just say no thank you and block his number.

March 29, 2017

So he called me on his work break and told me some pointers about dating. He said he wanted to talk it out and get an understanding.... Now I'm a bit confused.

Wow! He has some nerve!

I hope you told him thanks, but no thanks.

Better yet, block his number and move on.

March 29, 2017

In the early dating stages of a new dating scenario, you are evaluating whether or not that person is meeting your early dating needs naturally without pulling, pushing, discussing, etc. If it's not fun . . . I say run.

Don't entertain any conversation with him. You've told him you're moving on and so you need to stick to your decision. Talking to him now is setting yourself up for manipulation. After only one month of dating, you don't owe him anything.

This guy is a manipulator/controller . . .

March 29, 2017

So he called me on his work break and told me some pointers about dating. He said he wanted to talk it out and get an understanding.... Now I'm a bit confused.

Sure you're confused. You've had a ton of red flags slapping you in the face and you stayed with him. As I said, pick up your self-respect and move on.

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Guy says I'm too much because I want to see him more.. not sure if I should break up?

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