Mr_Sadz Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 My girlfriend always gets hung up on small things. She does not have a lot of energy to spare. Because of this she confronted me and said she has to focus on school and her family. She loves me and does not want to break up. But she need a break. Or at least some time where we don't see each other to often. She tells me that she feels responsible when she thinks of me, and does not feel to much joy when i write to her or when we are together. Stuff like this happend before and it changes. It might be because of the strong hormonal medication. Any idea how to handle this situation? Can i do something to make her feel less stress form being with me?
central Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 Is she going to be on these meds long term? If so, her ability to multi-task or handle stress will not improve, as other issues will replace any current issues. It seems like a relationship is optional for her when things get difficult, so you will always be the one to suffer. Let her have her break. Date others and perhaps you will find someone better for you, without issues that threaten a successful relationship.
Redhead14 Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 My girlfriend always gets hung up on small things. She does not have a lot of energy to spare. Because of this she confronted me and said she has to focus on school and her family. She loves me and does not want to break up. But she need a break. Or at least some time where we don't see each other to often. She tells me that she feels responsible when she thinks of me, and does not feel to much joy when i write to her or when we are together. Stuff like this happend before and it changes. It might be because of the strong hormonal medication. Any idea how to handle this situation? Can i do something to make her feel less stress form being with me? When someone tells you they are being smothered, take the pillow off their head. Relationships need air/space. People are still individuals even when they are in a relationship. Talk to her about what she wants/needs in terms of seeing each other -- a schedule, perhaps, not set in stone, but how often does she want to spend time with you and what activities does she want when you do spend time together. If you cannot compromise and you really want and need a lot more time with her than she can/wants to give, then you two simply aren't compatible in that area. Can i do something to make her feel less stress form being with me? -- Ask her that question?
Author Mr_Sadz Posted March 29, 2017 Author Posted March 29, 2017 Thanks for the replies. She does not appreciate i write to much, so i decided to arrange a meeting so we could talk a little. She does not seem to cut me off completely. But i am really not sure what to tell her and talk to her about. The main problem i think she has i that i am very pushy. I did not realize until today. But i want to apologize and tell her i am sorry for not realizing sooner. And i want to ask her what i can do to make her feel less stress. Can anyone of you help me with what to say and do so that she can feel at ease about our relationship? 1
Author Mr_Sadz Posted March 29, 2017 Author Posted March 29, 2017 Hi RedHead14. Thanks for you reply on my post. It helped me feel a little at ease. Is it to much to ask for help? I have arranged a meeting with my girlfriend next week. But im unsure what to tell her and talk to her about. I want to ask the question you suggested. But is there anything else i should tell or ask her about?
Redhead14 Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 Hi RedHead14. Thanks for you reply on my post. It helped me feel a little at ease. Is it to much to ask for help? I have arranged a meeting with my girlfriend next week. But im unsure what to tell her and talk to her about. I want to ask the question you suggested. But is there anything else i should tell or ask her about? Tell her what you've told us. Acknowledge her concerns and ask her what would work for her and then determine if whatever she says will work for you. If she says only 1 time per week and you really need, say three, offer a compromise or just accept that you and she are not on the same page in terms of how often to see someone while in a relationship. Communicate. I forgot to ask how long you've been seeing each other?
Author Mr_Sadz Posted March 29, 2017 Author Posted March 29, 2017 We've been together for 2 years. We had a breakup that lasted 2 months around October. But then she came back and said she was very sad about her decision. So we got back together
Redhead14 Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 We've been together for 2 years. We had a breakup that lasted 2 months around October. But then she came back and said she was very sad about her decision. So we got back together Well, this is the second time she's pulling away from you. It's time to get real with each other and communicate effectively and come to some kind of plan for moving forward in a way that works for both of you and that you both can be committed to. Otherwise, give it up.
Author Mr_Sadz Posted March 29, 2017 Author Posted March 29, 2017 I am realizing that it might come to give it up. But that sure hurts a lot. I hope that she will do her part to fix things and we find a way forward that work. I really appreciate your advice. Thanks you
Redhead14 Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 I am realizing that it might come to give it up. But that sure hurts a lot. I hope that she will do her part to fix things and we find a way forward that work. I really appreciate your advice. Thanks you If you two can't get on the same page now with something like this, it's going to be a lot more pain and for a lot longer if you stick it out. Get real or break the deal . . .
j2415p44 Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 If she’s asking for a break or some time not to see each other often, I think that would be fine. You may want to respect her decision that she wants to focus on school and family. It will give her time to think clearer regarding your relationship. It’s an opportunity for both of you to look at the relationship from a distance. I experienced that too, I asked my boyfriend for a temporary split up because it’s hard for me to balance work, family and my relationship with him. To make our temporary time out effective, we agreed that we would not have any intimate relationship with others and we talked about how long this time out going to be, and it worked. If you think the reason for this time out is the effect of her medication, you may want to talk to her doctor about it. God has awesome plans for your relationship, pray for it and He will give the desires of your heart according to His will. Thank you for sharing. Praying for you.
Try Posted March 31, 2017 Posted March 31, 2017 She loves me and does not want to break up. But she need a break. Or at least some time where we don't see each other to often. She tells me that she feels responsible when she thinks of me, and does not feel to much joy when i write to her or when we are together. Somewhere out there is a woman that will really love you, that will want to spend as much time with you as she can, because time with you is viewed by her as a joy and not a responsibility. A woman that you will not have to apologize to for wanting to take the relationship to the next level because that is where she also wants to go. That woman is not your current girlfriend. Stop wasting any more of your life on this deadend relationship with your current girlfriend, and go find someone that finds happiness in being with you. Once you find that someone, you will not believe that you were settling for less for so long.
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