butterfly29 Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Hello, I just wanted to make this post to thank all of you at the LS for your support, your questions, inputs, thoughts, advices you gave to me and each other. Especially the ones who're going through the stage of break up and no contact with their exes. Today is my ex boyfriend's birthday. And it's a day for me to celebrate. Celebrate the fact that it's been 18 days of NC for me and that it lasted that long. Celebrate the fact that I will not call him even though regardless how many times I've reread the "Ex bday" thread and other suggestions on why it's a bad idea to contact your ex, I still want to find a way to say happy birthday. Celebrate the fact that I've found LoveShack where I could bitch about anything that deals with him and read other people's posts to find answers to my questions. Celebrate the fact that I've done so well in this breakup. I've been hurt and rejected, lost my love and yet I haven't lost my dignity, self respect and I've done some terrific work on myself and for myself, taking a great care of myself in this difficult time. I celebrate the fact that in this abstenance I finally discovered what it means to love myself and care for myself. (and I am not talking about masturbation) I may have lost him, but I have regained many frienships with my old friends that I obandoned while I was with him. And I have gained many new friends during the last couple of months. I celebrate the fact that they are there for me and I shall never forget their importance in my life. I celebrate the fact that in those difficult moments of my life it became really clear to me who my real frends are and who aren't. (my ex's family definately weren't) I celebrate the fact that as hard as it was for me, I have made a choice to accept the reality as it is rather than continuing to live in a fantacy world. I have made a choice to take responsibility for myself and take care of my own needs instead of blaming my ex for not being able to do it for me. And most importantly, I celebrate that after all this crap I went through and pain of yet another sad ending relationship, I have chosen to seek love again with a new perpective, rather than resentment for men, pity for myself and no desire to trust anyone ever again. If you wish to give support, tell me, how long has it been for you as far as NC, how does it feel and what are your hopes. For me, it's been hard but amazing. Painful, but very much enriched with spiritual growth.
Rosalind Posted July 27, 2005 Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by butterfly29 I've been hurt and rejected, lost my love and yet I haven't lost my dignity, self respect and I've done some terrific work on myself and for myself, taking a great care of myself in this difficult time. You're doing awesome!!! Geez when I got dumped (yikes! has it really been a year now ) I handled the whole thing with the dignity of a 12 yr old.
Author butterfly29 Posted July 27, 2005 Author Posted July 27, 2005 Originally posted by Rosalind You're doing awesome!!! Geez when I got dumped (yikes! has it really been a year now ) I handled the whole thing with the dignity of a 12 yr old. Hey, don't beat yourself down like that... You were hurt. We all made mistakes, I definately did. I wasn't perfect this time either. I first said we can't be friends, then I asked for frienship, then I realized I don't want to be friends again. Dealing with being dumped is HARD!!! And yes I did call him and said mean things and all, but it's normal. What's most important is how much you've learned from this experience.
Addison Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 If I hadn't broken down and sent a txt msg 8 days ago, this would be 14 days of NC. I never got a reply to the txt and I was so mad at myself for doing it that I like to pretend that it didn't happen! I've been doing suprisingly well. I was a complete mess and then one day I woke up and started feeling different. Alive again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not over him by a long shot. It will be 4 weeks this coming Sunday. I have these moments, mostly at night time and first thing when I wake up, that it all hits me and I feel like my heart is going to just quit beating. As long as I keep busy and read posts on here and talk to friends, I feel ok though. And compared to how I felt 4 weeks ago, OK is a huge step in the right direction. Just because I didn't want to live without him does not mean that I can't. The world doesn't stop just because my heart got broken so there's no reason that I should have to either. I'm probably going to miss him for a long, long time. And I'm probably going to love him even longer than that. NC is the best thing that has happened to me yet. I don't wake up everyday and get jolted back to the hurt I felt on day 1 when he ignores me or says something to hurt my feelings. So I agree, I think that everyday that we continue NC and continue to feel better is a reason to celebrate!
cosis Posted July 29, 2005 Posted July 29, 2005 Got dumped on the phone Sunday evening, sent an email Sunday night and thats been it. She sent me a text msg last night saying 'Hope your doing alright'. Big of her huh?
Author butterfly29 Posted July 29, 2005 Author Posted July 29, 2005 You people are great and you're doing fine. It's ok to relapse. I called him back the first time a few hours after he broke up with me over the phone, just to make sure he wasn't "talking nonsence" or hoping he'd change his mind... Yeah right. Of course I tried to contact him. I'm human, not a robot. And the last time I did, I called him over my cell phone and let it ring, then hung up. I was hoping he'd call me back since he saw my number displayed. He didn't. I'm still doing well... hehe And so are you!
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