avoforastig Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 I just went out with a lady for a first date. I thought we had a lot of fun but down the stretch it became obvious she had a little too much to drink(~3 beers for a petite woman). I ended up walking her back to her apartment which was close to the bar, mainly because I wanted to ensure she made it home safely. Things got a little weird as we stood outside her apartment door for a considerable amount of time. She seemed like she didn't want to let me in and subsequently hook up with me, which is totally fine. She attempted to make out with me, but it was sloppy at best. I don't know what to do now. I actually was digging her, but now I'm afraid she won't see me again because she'll be embarrassed. Things were going smoothly which led to us having several drinks together, and unfortunately, maybe her having one too many. I actually really enjoyed talking with her and want to see her again. How do I play things going forward?
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 I would just not mention it at all and simply tell her you and a time and would she like to go out to X place this weekend? She may just have been nervous. Choose something non-drink-y for your next date but don't state it that way, obviously. See what happens.
Simple Logic Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 I just went out with a lady for a first date. I thought we had a lot of fun but down the stretch it became obvious she had a little too much to drink(~3 beers for a petite woman). I ended up walking her back to her apartment which was close to the bar, mainly because I wanted to ensure she made it home safely. Things got a little weird as we stood outside her apartment door for a considerable amount of time. She seemed like she didn't want to let me in and subsequently hook up with me, which is totally fine. She attempted to make out with me, but it was sloppy at best. I don't know what to do now. I actually was digging her, but now I'm afraid she won't see me again because she'll be embarrassed. Things were going smoothly which led to us having several drinks together, and unfortunately, maybe her having one too many. I actually really enjoyed talking with her and want to see her again. How do I play things going forward? Call her up and ask her out. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 Agree with the others, ask her out again. She might just be relieved that you are willing to overlook first-date jitters and a little too much alcohol. 1
Tressugar Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 Are you sure you want to continue to date someone with a drinking problem?
Justanaverageguy Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 Are you sure you want to continue to date someone with a drinking problem? If 3 beers is a drinking problem - sign me up for Alcoholics anonymous. 7
Art_Critic Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 If 3 beers is a drinking problem - sign me up for Alcoholics anonymous. I'd bet 100-1 that she had a few more drinks before the date or was taking a pill with the Alcohol. 3 beers in a dinner evening doesn't make a person drunk... I dated a girl with drinking problem that in one restaurant on our first date she had an open tab running in the back bar of the restaurant and only had one glass of wine at dinner.. she would get up and say she needed to go smoke or go to the restroom but was in the back bar tossing one back... she was toasted when we left.
Art_Critic Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 Something else to think about... while getting drunk on a first date can accidentally happen and generally with the younger crowd in most cases only someone with a drinking problem would get drunk on a first date unless the date was based on drinking, such as bar hopping. So if they weren't bar hopping then the chances are she has an issue that was shown on the first date. 2
Author avoforastig Posted March 29, 2017 Author Posted March 29, 2017 If 3 beers is a drinking problem - sign me up for Alcoholics anonymous. I actually really enjoy drinking alcohol and I thought we had a fun time overall. The place we went has some strong ass beers, I had a nice buzz on the way home. I don't know if she had anything to eat all night as the plan was to meet for a drink but tings went well so we had a few. I'm tempted to make a playful statement blaming her for my hangover today, or do you think it's better just to keep quiet about? I'm mainly concerned she will feel self-conscious or embarrassed and not want to see me again. 1
smackie9 Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 Is she does feel embarrassed that's a good sign.....if she thinks nothing of it...not so good. If this happened to me there wouldn't be a second date....such a turn off when people can't control their alcohol intake. First impressions right? If you want to ask her out again....don't bring it up. 2
KBob Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 I've done this before. Sometimes you just get lost in the moment with good conversation and having fun that you don't realise how that third beer wasn't a good idea until "oh f**k, I shouldn't have had that third beer". Ask her out again and see how the next date goes. If she continually orders more booze than she can handle, you know what the deal is. 3
Author avoforastig Posted March 29, 2017 Author Posted March 29, 2017 I would just not mention it at all and simply tell her you and a time and would she like to go out to X place this weekend? She may just have been nervous. Choose something non-drink-y for your next date but don't state it that way, obviously. See what happens. Unfortunately, she isn't headed out of town for the weekend. Do you think it would be best to suggest a specific date on follow up or just text her saying I had a good time and we should hang out again soon?
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 I'd bet 100-1 that she had a few more drinks before the date or was taking a pill with the Alcohol. 3 beers in a dinner evening doesn't make a person drunk... I dated a girl with drinking problem that in one restaurant on our first date she had an open tab running in the back bar of the restaurant and only had one glass of wine at dinner.. she would get up and say she needed to go smoke or go to the restroom but was in the back bar tossing one back... she was toasted when we left. Three beers would literally have me passed out and I might actually throw up. I can MAYBE choke back one beer and get just tipsy, then bleary, then have to go lie down after an hour or so. Everyone is different. 1
smackie9 Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 Three beers would literally have me passed out and I might actually throw up. I can MAYBE choke back one beer and get just tipsy, then bleary, then have to go lie down after an hour or so. Everyone is different. I can pound beers all night....it takes conditioning
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 I can pound beers all night....it takes conditioning Unfortunately I am not currently in beer training ATM. OP: you keep saying you are afraid she's embarrassed, so just don't bring it up! How about a text: "Had a nice time last night and would like to get to know each other a little better, when are you free to do X?"
act00 Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 If you like her, say so. Call her or text her that you had a lot of fun, and suggest another time to get together. 1
RecentChange Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 There are beers and then there are beers. I am not a small person, and I drink weekly. Three bud lights? Not gonna feel a thing. Three 9% IPAs on an empty stomach? I am going to be really feelin' it. I agree with others, ask her out again. I don't think drinking 3 strong beers on a mostly empty stomach proves that she is an alcoholic. 1
Author avoforastig Posted March 29, 2017 Author Posted March 29, 2017 There are beers and then there are beers. I am not a small person, and I drink weekly. Three bud lights? Not gonna feel a thing. Three 9% IPAs on an empty stomach? I am going to be really feelin' it. I agree with others, ask her out again. I don't think drinking 3 strong beers on a mostly empty stomach proves that she is an alcoholic. I sent a text asking for a second date but it went through as a green text message not an iMessage, now I'm not sure if it was delivered. ****!! Still no reply after an hour
Life lessons Posted March 29, 2017 Posted March 29, 2017 I sent a text asking for a second date but it went through as a green text message not an iMessage, now I'm not sure if it was delivered. ****!! Still no reply after an hour I think blue...if an iPhone means it sent as an iMessage whereas green means SMS...if I'm not mistaken....maybe you have an iPhone and she has an android based phone? But either way, it should've went through to her.
Author avoforastig Posted March 29, 2017 Author Posted March 29, 2017 I think blue...if an iPhone means it sent as an iMessage whereas green means SMS...if I'm not mistaken....maybe you have an iPhone and she has an android based phone? But either way, it should've went through to her. All the other messages were blue so I thought it was odd. I just hate waiting for responses to date requests, the uncertainty is the worst. I always wonder if it's going to be a ghost when they don't reply quickly.
Life lessons Posted March 30, 2017 Posted March 30, 2017 All the other messages were blue so I thought it was odd. I just hate waiting for responses to date requests, the uncertainty is the worst. I always wonder if it's going to be a ghost when they don't reply quickly. Mine does the same thing at times, while texting the same person. It's completely normal. :-) I understand the wait! Most of us are impatient. Lol. Honestly, if her texting you back hours later becomes the norm for her...I'd probably say she isn't that interested. As I've said plenty of times, if someone's interested, they'll make time. But it may be too soon in your case to tell. Heck, emergencies happen all the time so maybe she has a good reason for not being prompt on her reply!? But if it becomes a habit then there "may" be more to it.
Author avoforastig Posted April 7, 2017 Author Posted April 7, 2017 I went on a second date. We were supposed to meet for dinner on a weeknight, but its looking like she can work long, unpredictable hours as a lawyer. She texted asking me if we could meet for a drink instead of dinner as she was going to have to work late. I cautiously agreed. We met at a wine bar. She only had one glass this time. The whole time we hung out I couldn't help but wonder if she was embarrassed or self-conscious about the first date as she acted completely differently. She was actually somewhat standoffish instead of being flirtatious. The night ended with a hug, not a sloppy make out. She seemed pretty tired throughout the date. We rescheduled the dinner to Saturday night. She actually asked when I would be available at the end of the second date. I think she I'm not sure what to do. I wanted to just let the first date sloppiness slide but now I'm concerned she tried to overcompensate to prove she is not a drunk. A Do you think it would be bad to bring up the first date just to clear the air? I thought about asking her something like, "how do you feel about how our first date ended?" just to get a sense of her feelings towards it.
Recommended Posts