Have you ever down-played your looks?

[Rosalind]

It started with me a couple of years ago, when a boss said that I was highly intelligent ('course that's up for debate ).

 

But it meant MORE to me than any compliment about my appearance.

 

And maybe it's because I'm older now, and want to be viewed more seriously as opposed to a hottie.

 

Of course I still care about my body, wear make-up, have nice hair. But I've toned everything down a notch.

 

I'm still feminine, but the total package now resembles a more natural, kinda understated look, with clothes that flatter my figure, nothing trendy and no navel showing.

 

I feel so comfortable, radianting self-confidence, and when speaking to members of the opposite sex, it's seems they are actually LISTENING to me - not gawking me up and down.

 

Has anyone else ever done this?

[loony]

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by Rosalind

Has anyone else ever done this?

 

What did you say ? I'm sorry I wasn't listening.. I was busy staring at your brea*ts

[Rosalind]

Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

What did you say ? I'm sorry I wasn't listening.. I was busy staring at your brea*ts

Where's my fly-swatter?....LOL

[quankanne]

on the whole, no, but there are times that I "assume" the look of a professional and dress smartly. Mostly, though, I just rather prefer to be in my comfortable, casual clothes and that's how people identify me.

 

but your post reminded me of a girl who lived on the same wing as me in the dorms. She was pretty: heavier than average, but still quite attractive with gorgeous curly black hair that we girls would have killed for, a wicked sense of humor and beautiful eyes and skin. But she had really low self-esteem and would bad-mouthe herself because she didn't think she was good enough or pretty enough to attract guys. We kept telling her that some guys were more interested in personality, and the ones who only went after girls becaused they looked good were shallow jerks. What made me think of her was how she would tell guys on the phone that she weighed 300-plus pounds and was ugly just so that when they met her, they'd automatically think, 'hey, she's really not THAT bad'! Kinda like what you were talking about, but in reverse.

 

don't know whatever happened to her, but I always thought it was such a shame that a perfectly pretty girl like her dwelled on her flaws rather than focused on her positive attributes.

[Marshbear]

Your maturing. You want to be respected for more than how sexy you are.

 

 

Good for you....

[New_Wife]

Yes. I have for work, as I'm overly endowed and want to be known for my work.

 

Additionally, in my culture, it is customary for the mother to tie her hair back when her daughter begins puberty out of respect for her blossoming womanhood. Obviously, tying the hair is symbolic - it's been adapted over the years. When my daughter started her change into womanhood, I put away the red lipsticks, the bright eyecolor, etc., and settled into a more neutral color scheme and dress to ensure the spotlight was on her.

[Rosalind]

Originally posted by New_Wife

I put away the red lipsticks, the bright eyecolor, etc., and settled into a more neutral color scheme and dress

Yes! that's I'm talking about...less flash.

 

But I have put much more emphasis on skin care. I do minimal make-up, with the goal of achieving a glowing, natural, healthy look.

 

I also tossed out the bright purple nail-polish

[JS17]

i've never been a flashy person but i downplay my looks a lot. i'm not super hot or anything, probably a 6.5 if i had to guess, but i hate getting stared at. i live in NYC and walk a lot in a city where there is a lot of construction and i NEVER walk around without my ipod so that i can drown out the construction/restaurant workers catcalls. sometimes you just don't want to be seen, just heard i have always, always wanted to be respected more for my intelligence than my looks.

[phyrespryte]

I'm usually kind of a flashy dresser. Like I'll wear bright colors and crazy accessories. Nothing tacky or ugly. Just kind of trendy. It's more of what is in style at my job (I work in a clothing store). But when I'm with certain friends I'll tone it down just because they're kind of insecure and feel bad when people are paying more attention to me than them.

 

Also if I start to like a guy I find that I try to make sure that I'm not showing too much skin whenever I'm going to be around him. It's the weirdest thing. Like my skirts have to be fingertip length and my shirts can't be too low. I guess it's because I used to go to private school? I don't know.

[staceybabe]

im 16 and have just started to do this, you may think ahhh she doesnt know what she's talking bout. trust me im very mature for my age, i live alone and work 60 hours a week. i used to pile the make up on and wear low cut tops. but now i feel as if i dont want to be like that, i want to have a bit of naturalness so when i find someone they are comfortable with me for who i actually am and not for the way i dress or how i look with a thick layer of paste on my face.

[Rosalind]

Originally posted by staceybabe

im 16 and have just started to do this, you may think ahhh she doesnt know what she's talking bout. trust me im very mature for my age, i live alone and work 60 hours a week. i used to pile the make up on and wear low cut tops. but now i feel as if i dont want to be like that, i want to have a bit of naturalness so when i find someone they are comfortable with me for who i actually am and not for the way i dress or how i look with a thick layer of paste on my face.

Word

[clandestinidad]

resembles a more natural, kinda understated look, with clothes that flatter my figure

 

I put away the red lipsticks, the bright eyecolor, etc., and settled into a more neutral color scheme

 

I have put much more emphasis on skin care. I do minimal make-up, with the goal of achieving a glowing, natural, healthy look.

 

I also tossed out the bright purple nail-polish

 

These "styles" all sound like theyre from the 80's ....maybe you've changed "styles" b/c of the way styles have changed. I mean, whats in style NOW is the natural-faced, minimalistic, more figure-flattering, healthy look.

 

But yeah, I know what you're saying about dressing more conservative as youre getting older/wiser/more mature....I've noticed I do the same thing

[Rosalind]

Originally posted by kat23

These "styles" all sound like theyre from the 80's ....maybe you've changed "styles" b/c of the way styles have changed. I mean, whats in style NOW is the natural-faced, minimalistic, more figure-flattering, healthy look.

LOL...okay - I'm in style now (and loving it)

 

But do you think it could also be a regional thing? I live in a very large city, and it's like anything goes...many women go overboard with the jewellery and accessories...I think it distracts from a womens natural beauty.

 

edit to add : less is more IMHO

[DolceGabbanaAddict]

Nope, can't say I have ever "down played my looks". I know what you are getting at and why you want to be more respected for intelligence than looks because eventually you will have a husband and won't really need all the attention on your looks. I on the other hand have always been know for my intelligence and "cuteness", but jsut recently since I basically did a whole make over on my self by my self, I've been noticed for the way I dress, how I look and everything like that. Of course when people find out I'm also smart they love me even more, but since I'm young and need attention still I like first being noticed how I look and then what my intelligence is like. I'm one of those people who are quiet and keep to myself really until I know someone inside and out and feel comfortable around them, but yet make new friends really easily and easily liked. I guess its good either way you look at it or it depends on what you want to be noticed or remembered for. I never have thought of taking my look down and reverting back to t shirts or whatever I used to wear all the time (I don't even remember and don't really want to remember because I had no style at all). The only badside about that is you look at how everyone else dresses and rate them just on that sometimes even though I hate to do that. Luckily for some strange reason no one really relates dumbness to good look guys, so I don't get labeled as unsmart if someone just looks at me, but yet for some reason when you see a really gorgeous girl who knows how to dress and is blonde usually people think she is dumb and I don't like that. I'm sure you have experienced this before and feel sorry for you, but I'm glad that you are happy with how you are and keep up the good outlook on yourself =]

[whichwayisup]

Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

 

 

What did you say ? I'm sorry I wasn't listening.. I was busy staring at your brea*ts

 

I'm sorry, did you say something? I was too busy checking out your growing package!

[RecordProducer]

I don't think you down-played your looks, I just think you feel most comfortable in certain style. You wouldn't feel like yourself with blond curly hair and tight, small dresses, just like you wouldn't feel comfortable to wear hip-hop clothes that would make you look streety. And guys like you because you're beautiful.

I like to look sexy... think it fits in my personality. But classy, not cheap.

When I go to places where i don't want to feel guys' looks on me, I don't wear make-up and my clothes are totally casual. Sometimes I want to be invisible.

[Marshbear32]

Yes, I down play my looks all the time because I am soooo smart and soooo "hot".

[Rosalind]

Yes....it's most certainly is the comfort thing, RP

 

I used to have quite a glam image - I now really HATE that style.

 

LOL...Marshbear, you're a certifiable nut-case, you know that right?

[HotCaliGirl]

This might get long considering this topic really gets to me sometimes! I think it's sad how many people get judged based on their appearance. I used to dress very conservative, then I went through a period of dressing ULTRA sexy, then I had to tone it down but felt uncomfortable with the "natural, conservative" look - either to please a jealous boyfriend or for work-related purposes - changing an image, etc.

 

As I've gotten older, I dress however I feel like and it can vary from one day to another, with an attitude of screw whoever doesn't like it, because if someone hasn't gotten to know me well enough and pases judgement on a low cut top that I like wearing, then I really couldn't care less about what they think. Sometimes I'll wear colored eyeshadow and a lot of jewelery, sometimes little or no makeup and just a thin toe-ring. I don't need people to pat me on my head and say wow you're so intelligent! I have my diplomas, success and big bank accounts to reflect that and my friends and family already know it.

 

Plus, the most judgemental people are other jealous girls anyways, so as long as I'm strong, I can handle those bitc*es. I don't need people to admire my intelligence or to prove it to them.

 

And to New_Wife who put away her lipstick, eyeshadow and bright colored clothes so that the attention would be taken away from her and instead go to her daughter...come - on!! are you for real? are you going to mutilate your genitals to ensure she has better orgasms too? and while you're at it gain 100 pounds...why draw the line with the lipstick and not take it further to ensure with certainty that the attention has been taken away from you?

 

On the other hand, if a woman once dressed sexy and did the makeup and all as a means to get attention and attract others, and now after many years for the first time feels secure to dress the way she WANTS to dress and feels more comfortable in a natural, toned-down style after years of dressing without taking her personal taste, style and comfort as primary considerations, that is a different scenerio and a good thing should a woman reach that place in life. (it can go the other way too with a woman gaining the strength to no longer dress conservatively)

 

I just hate the Oprah episodes where she takes several attractive women in their 40s and 50s who like to dress trendy and sexy, then tones them down SEVERAL NOTCHES, almost de-womanizing them, to look 'their age" and the audience is all happy as if they're so much better people - sign that they need to get a life?... It's a good thing Rosalind that you have changed your style to one that you find to be a more positive experience...

[NYCmitch25]

Ah, getting tired of the "You have a nice set of brains" bit ? Luckily I've been ugly enough to not have a "problem" with this.lol Actually I play down my looks in words only, I have a twin brother, so it will never end for me!

 

I guess when a beautiful girl like this one French girl from work comes around, I'm sure subconciously I dress nicer even though I know it isn't going to go anywhere. I guess the only down playing I've done is wear glasses and leave my facial hair @ 5PM to look more mature and seasoned. I also like to dress up for work, makes me feel better about myself and I feel more serious.

[Mr.positive]

Never down play your looks use them to your advantage.