He said something's missing but don't know what [UPDATED]

[EmilyJane]

You're asking the wrong questions.

 

It feels like an ego boost.

 

And reassuring because it lessens the rejection and I think you want us to say because he wants you back.

 

But he left you for no reason.

 

So the right question is why does he still have access to you on social media.

 

Teach him that dumping you means that you are not there anymore. You are not a pair of pants he can put back on when his bits get cold.

 

At the absolute least Ask him not to contact you in anyway including Facebook or insty likes unless it's to discuss reconciling

[Maldives]

Actually I have a similar story but much more bizzare. My ex wife and I had been already divorced for 8 yrs at this stage and she broke it off one morning I woke to find she'd ticked a dozen photos of mine on fb. Whilst I liked that she re e membered me u wasn't going to play her games she was a hot and cold type. I shld o kept her blocked because at the time it caused problems in the relationship I was in at the time. As I said u can block him or r u hoping for him to reach out to u?

[lovelymay]

Omg this is so weird!

I saw one of his best friends, who introduced me to his other friends.

Because they didn't know he broke up with me they seemed very excited to meet me (I've met only one of them).

 

The strange part is, the other friends immediately knew who I was. When I told them we're not together anymore (because I assumed they knew) they thought I broke up and asked me why. They said: "He's a good guy, why did you break up with him?"

 

So they didn't even know all of this.

It's so strange.

[lovelymay]

You're asking the wrong questions.

 

It feels like an ego boost.

 

And reassuring because it lessens the rejection and I think you want us to say because he wants you back.

 

But he left you for no reason.

 

So the right question is why does he still have access to you on social media.

 

Teach him that dumping you means that you are not there anymore. You are not a pair of pants he can put back on when his bits get cold.

 

At the absolute least Ask him not to contact you in anyway including Facebook or insty likes unless it's to discuss reconciling

 

 

Yes Emily I want it to be because he wants me back

I didn't block him because I'm posting lots of fun stuff and I want him to think that I don't miss him at all, that I've moved further.

Omg I don't know how to take that step, I think it's too confronting to say that to him on my own initiative. Maybe I would do it if he contacts me first. I'm really afraid to cut all ties with him

[lovelymay]

Actually I have a similar story but much more bizzare. My ex wife and I had been already divorced for 8 yrs at this stage and she broke it off one morning I woke to find she'd ticked a dozen photos of mine on fb. Whilst I liked that she re e membered me u wasn't going to play her games she was a hot and cold type. I shld o kept her blocked because at the time it caused problems in the relationship I was in at the time. As I said u can block him or r u hoping for him to reach out to u?

 

I'm hoping that he will reach out to me... I know that isn't realistic and it won't happen but I still hope so

[basil67]

Yes Emily I want it to be because he wants me back

I didn't block him because I'm posting lots of fun stuff and I want him to think that I don't miss him at all, that I've moved further.

Omg I don't know how to take that step, I think it's too confronting to say that to him on my own initiative. Maybe I would do it if he contacts me first. I'm really afraid to cut all ties with him

 

It's entirely possible that he's pleased to see you've moved on because he won't be feeling bad about hurting you.

 

Those likes could well be encouragement for you to live a full life without him.

[lovelymay]

It's entirely possible that he's pleased to see you've moved on because he won't be feeling bad about hurting you.

 

Those likes could well be encouragement for you to live a full life without him.

 

OMG really, I want him to suffer. Ugghh I don't know what to do now

[lovelymay]

Ok, I know I need to make sure he doesn't have access anymore to all my social media accounts.

But I'm really not ready to do that yet. Omg this is so hard, I really don't want to lose him completely.

 

Thanks for your answers this is so confronting

[lovelymay]

Hi everyone,

 

This is my 3rd post here about my break up 2 weeks ago.

These are the other posts:

[]

 

I haven't been in touch with him since we broke up but I thought it would be helpful to post about my whole progress because I've been through so many ups and downs.

 

 

Week 1: the shock and denial

In the first week without him I could barely believe it. It hurted so much and I had hope that he would call me because that's what he said he would do. He went on vacation for 10 days and promised to get in touch.

Although I knew there was a big chance that he wouldn't do that ( I told myself I needed to move on and stop thinking about his phone call), somewhere deep down I hoped for a phone call. I imagined how he would call me with regrets while at the same time I felt so empty and devastated because I knew it wouldn't happen.

 

Week 2: **** it I need to get over this

I feel like I've completely lost myself. To get over it, I unfollowed him on social media. Because every time when I post something on Facebook, Insta or Snapchat I keep waiting until he's seen my posts. Every morning I wake up at 5.00 just to see if he's seen or liked any of my social media posts. I lost it and decided to unfollow him. I'm still afraid to block or delete him because that would mean I would never talk to him again.

 

Anyway, I decided that I needed to date. After reading hundreds of articles online, I needed to put myself back on the market. So this week I went back on dating sites and had 5 different dates. LOL

 

What did I learn from these dates? Dating to get over a break up can be good and bad at the same time. Good because all guys wanted a 2nd date, paid for everything and gave me so many compliments. They made me feel beautiful, special, smart and attractive and seemed very interested. They kept texting me for a 2nd date.

On the other hand, the more men I meet the more I realize that I miss my ex so much. None of these 5 guys were comparable to them. None of those first dates were as fun as my first date with my ex. So I've decided to take it slowly, will still go out on dates but with a maximum of 2 guys / week.

By the way, I told every one of them about my situation and that I'm not ready for any new dating / romance thing. They all seemed to understand it. Not sure why they'd want a 2nd date with me, knowing all about this.

 

Week 3: get up

Now the 3rd week without him has arrived and I'm starting to get up again. This morning I went to the gym for the first time since the break up and I felt my energy coming back again. It's hard to let go because I've got so many nice memories. Now it all seems to be a dream, as if it never really happened. I don't know if I'm starting to let go, or that I'm forcing myself to forget all about him.

 

He still watches my facebook and snapchat stories and one of his best friends keeps liking my content. This makes it even harder to let him go 100% but I'm not ready to cut all ties with him yet.

 

My next steps: renew myself and finding myself. I've bought a new outfit, maybe I'll go for a new hair cut as well. And I will pick up where I left before I met him. I've also been thinking about why the break up makes me so sad. One of the reasons is that, I miss the person I was when I was with him. I felt smart, attractive, feminine, beautiful and most importantly, I cared much about someone. I could give him all my attention and my love because I needed that.

I'm gonna work on having those feelings back without him. Yes it is hard to imagine I'm that person but without the boyfriend. I think I need to do this.

 

Anyone experience with it?

How are you dealing with your break up?

Edited April 10, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
threads merged, links redacted ~6

[lovelymay]

Hi all,

 

What does it mean when your ex dumps you with no clear reason, then likes your FB photos and posts and then unfriends you? It's been almost a month since he broke up with me and I could see he was looking at my profiles. he even kept liking pictures and now all of a sudden he doesn't even follow me anymore.

 

I know I should move on and I've deleted the social media apps from my phone but now it feels like it's really over!

 

Tbh, I didn't follow him anymore since last week and I've blocked him from seeing my stories because I kept looking if he's seen it. Now that he unfriended me it really hurts! I mean... Why now? Even after having liked my photos in those No Contact weeks?

[ThupidCupid]

From what I've learned on this website he's just leaving breadcrumbs and finding a way to let you know that he's still around and exists. Don't pay attention to it. Let him unfriend you. Matter of fact, block him so you won't have to think about if he sees your profile or not. It should not matter. Continue to heal and move on. I wish you the best. X

[Altair0770]

So many things could be analyzed here and make you over think.

 

Could be trying to get a reaction out of you, or could be trying to move on. He could have felt guilty about breaking up with you and wants to show he still cares, but then realized it's best to let you go completely.

 

PS: You weren't doing NC if you were stalking his social media accounts.

 

No Contact means you disappear from his life and you make him disappear from yours. It doesn't mean you simply don't contact him.

 

Disappear and you will heal faster. This kind of stuff will only hold you down.

[lovelymay]

So many things could be analyzed here and make you over think.

 

Could be trying to get a reaction out of you, or could be trying to move on. He could have felt guilty about breaking up with you and wants to show he still cares, but then realized it's best to let you go completely.

 

PS: You weren't doing NC if you were stalking his social media accounts.

 

No Contact means you disappear from his life and you make him disappear from yours. It doesn't mean you simply don't contact him.

 

Disappear and you will heal faster. This kind of stuff will only hold you down.

 

Thanks

Well I already unfollowed him everywhere but I could see he was looking on my snapchat and FB posts.

But you're right we were indirectly in touch.

 

This is so hard it feels like he doesn't care about me at all anymore!! It's as if he dumped me twice

[lovelymay]

From what I've learned on this website he's just leaving breadcrumbs and finding a way to let you know that he's still around and exists. Don't pay attention to it. Let him unfriend you. Matter of fact, block him so you won't have to think about if he sees your profile or not. It should not matter. Continue to heal and move on. I wish you the best. X

 

Thanks so much I am trying to. Have had 8 dates since we broke up, with different guys but they all remind me of noone can compare to him. It's hard, they all ask me out on a 2nd date and I know I should really enjoy it but the fact is I feel completely out of control and lost

[Altair0770]

Thanks

Well I already unfollowed him everywhere but I could see he was looking on my snapchat and FB posts.

But you're right we were indirectly in touch.

 

This is so hard it feels like he doesn't care about me at all anymore!! It's as if he dumped me twice

 

Here's a long version of what you should do (since it's 3am on a Sunday and I can't sleep because of a terrible cold x.x)

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/620326-everything-you-need-know-about-exes-let-s-discuss

[basil67]

Thanks so much I am trying to. Have had 8 dates since we broke up, with different guys but they all remind me of noone can compare to him. It's hard, they all ask me out on a 2nd date and I know I should really enjoy it but the fact is I feel completely out of control and lost

 

It's because you're not ready to be dating. Hon, give yourself time to heal before going back out there.

 

If you don't take a break for yourself, at least do it so that you're not using these poor lads to try to fill a hole in your heart. It's not fair on them.

 

Don't be afraid to be single for a bit.

[lovelymay]

It's because you're not ready to be dating. Hon, give yourself time to heal before going back out there.

 

If you don't take a break for yourself, at least do it so that you're not using these poor lads to try to fill a hole in your heart. It's not fair on them.

 

Don't be afraid to be single for a bit.

 

Yeah you're right. I do tell them about my situation before or on the first date, but I just want to move on before I see him with another woman. I would die if I'd see him with someone else

[ExpatInItaly]

He might be dating someone else who requested he not keep any contact with you.

 

What reason did he give for ending it, and how long were you together?

[lovelymay]

He might be dating someone else who requested he not keep any contact with you.

 

What reason did he give for ending it, and how long were you together?

 

We were together 2 months only. And 3 days after he said I meant a lot to him, he broke up with:"I don't know what this is and why I think this, but something's missing and I can't put my finger on it."

 

I blocked him on FB now and he unfollowed me too on IG. But after the unfollow I saw that he is still looking at my stories!! after he unfollowed me! So he keeps coming back at my profile. I deleted the app now, I'm getting off social media.

[lovelymay]

It's horrible! All my friends said I should block him everywhere and now I feel lost and sad again.

 

I have to admit that during NC and not blocking him, I enjoyed it when i watched my photos, videos and snaps. But when he unfollowed me this weekend I felt horrible again, I did not understand it. Now I'm just imagining all the time that he might've found someone else who told him to unfollow me.

So I've blocked him everywhere before he's about to unfriend and block me everywhere.

 

Don't want to see him with his new dates, ugh! This is so unfair I feel hopeless.

Can't concentrate at all, I had many fights with colleagues at work Even with my boss

 

I'm just trying to understand still... why did he watch my stories AFTER unfollowing me? I really don't understand it and his best friend also keeps looking at my social media profiles. I keep thinking they must be making jokes or anything like that...

 

I know it's better to have no contact at all, even if it means cutting him out of my life entirely. But it just hurts, I want him back and I miss him.

[lovelymay]

Ok a new update... please help what should I do?

After he unfollowed me on Instagram I saw that he was still looking at my stories. All my friends told me it's better to block him everywhere and so I did...

 

I couldn't help it this morning and I wanted to unblock him. Then I noticed I couldn't find him which means... HE BLOCKED ME BACK.

 

What do I do now? I've lost every piece of contact with him. I don't know what to do. Have found back his phone number and put it back in my phone but I think it's a bad idea to call him...

 

NEED HELP

[lovelymay]

Ok, I did it today. I wrote a letter and spoke it into a voice message:

 

I said I liked him so much that the break up still hurts me. Because he kept watching and liking my social media content, I got confronted with sad feelings every time. So I said I blocked him for that reason and that I can't stay friends with him, not now.

 

I know it's the best for me to do it this way in order to move on. But now I'm sure I've lost him forever. It's been almost a day ago and he hasn't replied. I don't think he will...

I deleted our conversation so I wouldn't watch if he's seen it. But now I don't even know if he's opened the message or that he blocked me on Whatsapp.

Anyway, it's hard to keep going on! I can't take it...

[Blanco]

I'm sorry you're hurting, but if this is the guy you only dated for a couple of months, I think you're being a bit catastrophic about this. You didn't really know him and your fixation on him sounds more like infatuation than anything of substance.

 

He's respecting your wishes, which is why he's not contacting you. This isn't a game, so I hope you weren't telling him you couldn't be friends just to coax him into dating you again.

[Soak]

But see here's the thing. Even if I'm right. You still can't use it as a reason for hope. Being able to put your finger on a cause will not actually change anything and can make your life worse.

 

And if he's done this once he will absolutely do it to you again if you hang on hoping and allowing him access to you when he turns up again. Because he will turn up again. His sort always do, the ones trying to escape from something or problems in other areas of their lives by getting into relationships.

 

Don't be in a rush again. Act with caution and as if you are precious and they need to earn the right to your trust and body by being consistent over a longer period of time.

 

1. Yes, do not hold on to hope by thinking this (behaviour) is temporary.

 

2. I had this happen to me (the return), and it gets harder each time you break up.

 

3. Sage advice about not rushing in. I had somebody rush me, and the euphoria of the moment caused me make unwise decisions that weren't in my best interests.

 

If he's still hung up on somebody else, let him go. You can do better.